Another Green Box

Still on my Delta Green kick.

I honestly think green boxes are one of the best features in any ttrpg; they're an excuse to introduce fun toys, you can use them to deliver hooks, their contents can help solve problems and create new ones, you can fill them with clues and threads to investigate, you can turn them into miniature stories. They fit into basically any game system where "allied supply cache" would make sense, especially if the PCs are part of an organization / faction / community that can't rely on the support of a larger / official organization (militant unionists, revolutionaries, off-the-books operators, dungeon delvers, etc.) And most of all they embody my design ideal of "give players tools instead of numbers."

So yeah, green boxes are great. Here's the first one. Here's another one. 

Item 1

Katana and wakizashi in matching scabbards, 18th Century. Well-maintained.

Item 2

Pallet of 300 cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli.

Item 3

Half-painted Warhammer 40k army (kitbashed Thousand Daughters Chaos Sisters). Painting supplies. Model assembly tools. Notecard: "DO NOT TOUCH".

Item 4

Folding coffin tent x5

Item 5

Four kevlar vests, nametags read "Inky", "Pinky", "Blinkie" and "Fuckface."

Item 6

CRT television with VHS/DVD player. Shelf contains:

• Blade 2 (DVD) - Disc is scratched.
• "Lauren and Charlie Wedding 6/11/94" - Home movie of wedding ceremony. Groom drastically changes appearance five times during ceremony; no attendants, including bride, notice.
• The Ring (VHS) - Cassette label has been removed.
• "Navidson Tape.mov" (CD-R) - Fragment of student film adaptation of House of Leaves. 4 additional .mov files on disk, all corrupted.
• Unlabeled Tape (VHS) - Amateur sex tape. Camera is knocked to the floor and remains pointed at opened closet throughout. Indistinct figure can be seen regularly shifting position in the darkness.
• The Screaming Aboard the Alexis (DVD) - Shrinkwrapped, unopened.

Item 7

Complete Talmud (Schottenstein Aramaic/Hebrew-English edition)

Item 8

Tupperware contained filled with Lego minifigure heads. Red ∅ drawn on lid.

• Opening the container will induce the intrusive thought "I should eat these", with dramatically lowered inhibition.

Item 9

6 autoinjectors filled with cloudy blue fluid. Note: "One per six hours. Use w/ white worms only no good w/ red. Hurts like a bitch but you'll thank me later."

Item 10

12-terabyte solid-state hard drive inside a duct-taped plastic bag. Drive holds .csv file containing anonymized data of all instances of masturbation to orgasm by human beings worldwide since June 10th 1841. All entries include date & time, region, and subject matter tags. Several columns containing additional data have been corrupted. A pivot table has already been made for easy sorting.

Item 11

Reconstruction of Toriyama Sekien's Gazu Hyakki Yagyo tetrology; scrapbook collage and enthusiastic amateur watercolors. Includes numerous beings not included in the original work.

Item 12

Photograph of peacock spider (Maratus volans) perched on garden statue of Athena. Spider is the size of a small dog. Statue is painted period-appropriate colors.

Item 13

Heavily-annotated copy of The Atûmaic Mysteries: Antiquity to Today.

• Academic writing is clear and functional. Provides solid overview of the history, development, and major schools of Atûmaic thought. At multiple points in the book, the author states that certain topics should not be investigated or even explained for the safety of the reader.

Item 14

Federal tax returns for James D. W. Hudson-Golgorath of Schenectady, New York from 1958-1972.

Item 15

Hinged wooden box containing hand-knotted cord rosaries, an assortment of granola bars and fruit snacks, and eight prepared .357 speed-loaders. Note on interior lid: "Take what you need! - M.A."

Item 16

Bloodstained capirote robe with hood, blue. Pocket notebook, black. Notebook contains list of names, 19/25 crossed out. All names match with Klan rosters from western Kentucky and northern Alabama in 1971-1974.

• Wearing the robe will trigger an epileptic seizure accompanied by beatific vision of a young woman in a blue dress, crushing a serpent underfoot. "Wake up mijo; there's still work to do." From then on the wearer has mantled the spirit of EL MARTILLO (terror of the wicked, hero of the downtrodden, friend to all children.)

Item 17

Unsigned letter in Esperanto, addressed to Piotr, dated September 12th, 1925. Regards "observational anomalies in the paths of orbiting bodies", including claims of planets appearing in the incorrect orbits, moving at incorrect speeds, and the appearance and disappearance of multiple new planets. Additional information, including the observational data, is promised in a following letter.

Item 18

Fishtank filled with coffee grounds, kitchen refuse, and bulbous blue-white fungus. Paper taped to side: "I eat plastic! Yum yum yum!" Half-consumed He-Man action figure visible inside.

 

Item 19

Draft screenplays for the thirteenth through fifteenth mainline Star Wars films, written in Georgian. Recovered from abandoned homeless encampment in Cleveland, Ohio, 2009.

Item 20

3-hole binder containing detailed handwritten planetological survey of the TRAPPIST-1 system.

Item 21

Doctoral dissertation analyzing the "Skipping Stone to Heaven" UFO sighting (June 1997, Montana) and the short-lived New Stars Holiness Church that formed afterwards.

• New Stars Holiness Church - Pentecostal-derived new religious movement, 349 known members at highest count. Collapsed due to development of bitter rivalry between its founders, Mason Gore and Barry Heim. Gore suffered a psychotic break in 2002 and has repeatedly failed at resurrecting the church (current Facebook follower count: 6). Heim was last seen in 2019, recruiting door-to-door for a dietary tapeworm multi-level-markerting scheme, despite having been declared dead by opiate overdose in 2014.

Item 22

Annotated transcripts of episode 3 ("Welcome to Calamari") of actual-play podcast "Adventures in Aegaiana" stapled to printout of rambling conspiratorial blogpost and local news article about the arrest of member Jean Nichols for vandalism, public nudity, and aggravated assault.

• Cited conspiracy centers on esoteric mathematic symbolism and how it is used by miniature humanoid creatures creatures called "muGen" to manipulate humanity and prevent discovery of true mathematics.

Item 23

Cardboard take-out container filled with adhesive googly eyes.

Item 24

Nonstandard tarot deck; contains uneven mix of Queen of Swords, Devil, Tower, 7 Cups and 4 Wands from different decks. Additionally contains "The Temple", "The Summit", "Page of Roots" and "6 of Threes".

Item 25

Water filtration kit. Iodine tablets. Charcoal filters. Mason jar containing four severed index fingers suspended in urine, labeled "EMERGENCY USE ONLY".

• Fingers belong to pair of immortal protohuman sorcerer-priests. Snapping one in half will reduce all matter within 15 meters (dome) to radioactive ash, barring a three-meter exclusion zone at the point of detonation.

Item 26

2013 Toshiba laptop, operating system Linux Mint. Starts "Dogmeat Special" program on startup, which allows any computer program to be run on the machine regardless of age, origin or type to be run on the machine.

• Programs run through Dogmeat Special are sluggish and prone to crashes due to the age of the hardware and instability of the program. They are not installed on the laptop, and must be run from an external drive. Dogmeat Special itself cannot be copied or moved to other computers.

Item 27

Handheld Geiger counter. Plastic casing has been pried open and repaired with hot glue and duct tape. Laminated index cards attached to handle with twine provide instructions on how to take readings of atmospheric doroganon. No explanation of doroganon is provided, but it is repeatedly stated that levels above 4.5 are unfit for long-term human habitation.

Item 28

Take-out menu for Last Chance Supreme Chinese Buffet. Certain items have been underlined and numbered. "They changed the General Tso's - no good" has been penciled in the margin.

• Ordering marked items in specific orders for takeout will result in delivery of additional non-food items.

Item 29

Kuchisake-onna body pillow. Reverse side wears no mask.

Item 30

Nine composition notebooks containing grammars, lexicons, writing systems and teaching for five constructed languages (Olxheyu, Saram-Shuram, Jaji, Dhaatageiz, Balyang) All demonstrate noteworthy skill in their construction and presentation but are otherwise mundane.

Item 31

Contract of sale for immortal soul of reactionary conservative podcaster. Purchaser's signature is smudged and faded, and cannot be read.

• Contract remains legally binding even when re-signed. Degradation of the document prevents exercise of full control over the subject, but significant influence can still be wielded. Advertisements on the Spotify music streaming platform cannot be reduced or canceled, as per Clause 5.

Item 32

Conversational Diné bizaad (Navajo) learning course on cassette.

Item 33

Shoebox of goodbye letters, photographs of pets; assorted coins, small stones, pressed flowers, blackout poetry.

Item 34

HAM radio set. Microphone cord has been cut. Actively transmitting looping message: heavily-distorted male voice reads out names of each M, K and G class star within 150 light years of Earth, with each name followed by sequence of SOS distress signals in assorted encodings.

Item 35

Wooden saint's icon of elephant, painted in classical Ethiopian Tewahedo orthodox style.

• Intruders into a room where the icon is hung will be removed from the premises; injuries are consistent with being kicked, gored, or picked up and thrown by an elephant.

The Chatelaine Crepuscular

By pre-dawn grey or dim gloaming blue, a tall, lonely figure calls "Hallo!" from the road.

Daughter of the forbidden union of Moon and Sun (for the Ocean and the Unfixed Stars are jealous consorts), she was exiled from the celestial courts during the Heliocentric Reformation (as the Sun, the new center of the universe, could not afford such a lofty position with an obvious bastard lingering around their feet). She stole everything that she could carry on the way out, and has been peddling the treasures of the heavens as she travels about the world of mortals.

• Appearance: Beautiful, to proportions that are not entirely unlike those of humans. Tall, so that one must crane their head up to meet her eyes unless they are standing far away. Hair that flows down to her ankles, deepest blue at the roots and billowing out through purple, red, pink, orange, to gold at the tips. Skin of that grey-gold of the mists in morning as they depart from the sun. She goes about unclothed, save a hooded cloak of tattered silver brocade she'll wear when it is raining, and wooden sandals to keep her feet out of the mud. She has an enormous overstuffed backpack, practically bursting at the seams, that never seems to get smaller. With a snap of her fingers there's a wooden tray around her neck, with a carafe of dark coffee an a set of ceramic cups.

• Manner: Casually playful, in the way of someone who grew up among suffocating social strictures and wishes to have no more of any of that, thank you very much.
  

• Wants: Money enough for passage to the Mouth of the Fish.
  

• Secret: Killed a courtier on her way out.
  

What's She Selling?

• Sun-Maid's Mask - A smiling visage of orange-glazed clay. It weaves the wearer into the background. Others will dimly notice their presence, but not as an individual and not anyone of any importance. Works better the greater the class divide between you and the people around you. Won't let you get away with murder but will certainly allow you to sneak off with heavier pockets.

• Decanter of Nectar - The golden liquid within is extremely viscous and sticky, painfully cold, overly sweet, and has a tendency to form an unpleasant crust when it dries out. But it does contain several more gallons than it should, and refills slowly when depleted.

• Sacrificial Censor - Merely insert charcoal, incense, and animal bones wrapped in fat, and you can send one-way messages via smoke signal to anyone who shares the same religion as you.

• The mummified corpse of an unlucky thaumonaut - Still wearing a functional EVA suit, if you can get the damn thing off him.

• Assortment of last season's fashions from the Thiasus Tranquilatus - Would be difficult to wear without significant modification, but all of extremely fine quality.

• Bottomless Chamberpot - Precisely so. It is not recommended to flip it over.

• Slippers of the Emerald Emperor - Exceedingly comfy and will keep your feet war, your footsteps muffled, and have enough residual magic in them

• Miniature Ouroboros - A pet snake, forever eating its own tail. Worn as an accessory (as it does not require food and cannot shit) and is s sure sign of high society. Its shed skin is a potent alchemical reagent, used in the more effective transmutative concoctions.

• Execution Voucher (Most Holy Brotherhood of Carnifexes) - Good for one free execution of a guilty party by a licensed guild headsman.

• Decorative Inkwell (Gifted by the ambassador from Leng) - By twisting the pen like so, the ink might be made permanent, animated, or invisible save in the presence of certain stimuli.

• Decorative Statuette (Gifted by the ambassador from Carcosa) - "I don't know what this does and I am not about to try and find out."

• A jar full of kidney stones - They have been lacquered and polished smooth, and remain utterly disgusting. Why the hell are you buying these.

• A scale from a chalkydri - As large and as sturdy as a greatshield, but light as a cork. Its polished copper surface casts iridescent reflections when struck by light.

• The gun that will, eventually, kill the Cthonopope - What an absolute piece of garbage. Poorly maintained, can barely shoot straight, good luck finding compatible ammo. But the name doesn't lie, it comes with a certified prophecy by the Cumaean Oracle.

• Nephilimic Grammar Book - A dogeared and margin-noted textbook of the primary Nephilimic dialect. Ordinary, somewhat obtuse, but otherwise a decent instruction.

• Andromeda's Earrings - She left them behind at the soulstice ball. Will allow the wearer to hear any conversation about them as if the speakers are standing right next to them.

• Partially Opened Box of Firecrackers - Bright paper cylinders of red and yellow. They should still (mostly) be functional. Being used by the celestial court, do mind that the images and sounds they will create are well beyond those alchemist's tricks of the world below. make sure to read the label!

• Amber Theoamniote - A mass of amber, within which one might see the obscured form of something similar to an oversized human fetus. Purpose unknown.

• Unfinished Afterlife Paperwork - All the necessary forms to assign two souls to their penitentence. Have already been signed and stamped, but the assignments have yet to be filled in.

• Cresent Moon Nail Clippers - Shimmering silver blades and a pearl handle. Excellent at their job, but the nail file is the real treasure - with time and elbow grease you can grind down anything with it.

All-Purpose Green Box

For the first time in ages, this post is about something I actually use in games. When running anything where "box full of incredibly weird shit" is appropriate, I tend to have a list of incredibly weird shit to put in boxes. Since (much, but not all) of this list is pulled from session notes many (but not all) of the items are ripped straight from something else, because stealing ideas reduces cognitive workload at the table, and can also trigger an "oh fuck no" reaction in players who understand the reference (they rarely ever do).

Item 1

Unloaded shotgun with a half-empty box of shells. The stock is covered in Love Live! stickers, over which someone has written SHIT TASTE in permanent marker.

Item 2

Silver canister (1' tall, 8" diameter), with a series of USB ports arranged in an inverted triangle on the side. Cold to the touch. Vibrates faintly.

• The canister contains the preserved and still very-much-alive brain of a Yale professor last seen in September 1937. Long-term sensory deprivation has caused severe deterioration of mental state. Has the social attitudes one would expect, if he is mentally coherent enough to have them. Can interface with technology built by [XENOENTITY M-3] and possesses first-hand experience of interactions with [XENOENTITY M-3]. Interface with terragen computers, while possible, is both difficult and  not recommended.

Item 3

Enormous leatherbound codex. Black cover, with a red-orange circle in the center. Interior pages filled with dense, beautiful calligraphy in an unidentified script. Illuminated illustrations of fantastic locales and the inhabitants therein.

• Propagandistic autobiographical narrative of far-future tyrant. Fragmentary, hand-written translation notes found within. Long-term exposure will open up possessor / reader to contact with [TRANSTEMPORAL ENTITIES].

Item 4

Glass fishbowl containing a sea slug (species Nembrotha kubaryana) and a small silver hand bell.

• Slug is capable of mental communication, possesses persona of penny-dreadful Victorian explorer-gentleman. Seems unaware or only partially aware of surroundings and of its own status. Hand bell, when rung, will summon nondescript (though well-dressed) human male of middle age who will fulfill tasks requested of him, whatever they might be, so long as they are within the physical capabilities of an ordinary human being.

 

Item 5

There is no Item 5.

• Object 5 self-deletes from the memory of any individual that comes into contact, direct, visual, or remote, with Object 5.
  

Item 6

Long knife made from a human thigh bone. Handle wrapped in red parachute cord.

• If used to kill a willing individual, the next use will be instantaneously fatal regardless of the scope of the injury.

Item 7

Sheaf of yellowing paper (108 pages) held together with binding clip. Typewritten record. Redacted names accompanied by alphanumeric code.

• Roster of known [HIGH ENTROPY ENTITIES], the powers they possess and offer, places of contact, and known contractees. Composed ~forty years ago by no-longer-extant government entity, entries may be inaccurate.

Item 8

Finger-length glass vial containing golden liquid. Labeled "analeptic".

• When mixed with brain tissue, permits the eaters to inherit the memories and experiences of the recently deceased.

Item 9

VHS tape. Handwritten label reads "DO NOT VIEW". Underneath, "THE FAT LADY SINGS" is written in Mandarin.

• Heavily-degraded footage of a room, dimly lit by a flickering fluorescent light. Cracked concrete wall covered in graffiti. A pile of corpses sits fills much of the frame. A cardboard sign sits on a wooden chair, displaying an RCA test pattern and the text PLEASE STAND BY. Occasional humming and heavy footsteps can be heard from offscreen. No apparent end to footage.

Item 10

Crayon drawing of a cow in a field. Three stick figures are laying in the field. The cow is covered in red.

• Drawing an individual personally known to the artist in the field will cause individual to be trampled to death and subsequently eaten by a cow, regardless of their actual proximity to any bovines. Target must be drawn in crayon, may not overlap with another figure, and the artist must intend that they be trampled and eaten by a cow.

Item 11

Dented green ammo container. Label in Brazilian Portuguese. Interior is empty, but severely damaged by gouges and apparent claw-marks.

• No anomalous properties.

Item 12

Nokia cell phone, black. Plastic casing has been exposed to high temperatures but otherwise intact. Battery has been removed.

• Pressing call button will generate static and indistinct voices. Call ends after 10-15 seconds. Further anomalous properties unknown.

Item 13

Manilla envelope containing Binding of Isaac GameBoy Advance cartridge. FOR EVAN is written on the front.

• Game functions as expected, is a non-anomalous piece of impossible media. Edges of envelope will flatten to monomolecular cutting edge when the envelope is empty (it will return to its ordinary state so long as there is an object inside, regardless of the object).

Item 14

Thumb-sized fetus (blue, horned) suspending in red-purple-black organic slurry.

• Drinking the mixture (do not chew) will generate an instance of [HIGH ENTROPY ENTITY B-2] upon death. Generated [HIGH ENTROPY ENTITY] will possess partial continuity of consciousness, inheriting some memories and personality traits. Manner of death is irrelevant.  

Item 15

Skull of adult human male. The word DENNIS has been carved into the forehead.

• Putting a coin in the skull's mouth will generate a bullet of random commercially-available caliber in the user's pocket, with a 5% chance of being accompanied by a functional hand grenade.

Item 16

Kindle e-reader pre-loaded with an Updated English Translation copy of the Kitab al-Layl. Screen is cracked but device is otherwise fully operational.

• Possesses no supernatural traits on its own, but is the most widely-read book of occultism in the world and thus provides a certain amount of shared conceptual language.

Item 17

Oil painting: "Still Life of Meat". (framed)

• Anomalous properties unknown.

Item 18

Severed human hand (right). Skin is cracked, bright red, and flakes off when disturbed.

• Fingers catch fire when held by a liar, a cheat, a thief, or a coward. Invisible entities within its light are revealed, while the wielder is rendered invisible (the light will remain visible). The fingers will occasionally be seen to grip at things that are not there.

Item 19

Engraved lead tube wrapped in copper wire and affixed to wooden rifle stock. Generates a hum, heat, and vibrates when trigger is pulled.

• Any targeted living matter will spontaneously begin developing tumors, which will grow in size and severity the longer the target remains within the beam. Extended use will cause barrel to grow increasingly hot, eventually deforming it into uselessness.

Item 20

Series of 6 mason jars containing cuttlefish preserved in formaldehyde. Will turn to face observers. Regularly shift tentacle positions.

• Tentacle positions can be decoded into an English cipher. Default state is a repeating hymn to Tulu, of whom they are a collective priest. They will respond to humans who attempt to communicate through the cipher.

Additional Equipment for Mothership (feat Cognitohazards)

Humanity (and most of the dead alien species we find), is defined by stuff. Junk. Trash. Doodads. Nothing a xenoarchaeologist likes better than a perfectly preserved landfill.

Here are some things that will be found in ours.

I didn't list prices because I don't like coming up with lists of prices.

Equipment Aboard the Mothership

Abnormality Sensor - (Item) A handheld device purportedly able to locate nearby disruptions in spatial-temporal normality. It might be a placebo. It provides +10% to Fear saves, occasionally.

Access Key - (Slickware 0) Access to a private or otherwise secure v-sim server.

Adaptive Gun - (Weapon) Can be refit between pistol, smg, shotgun, and grenade launcher forms. Changing form takes a turn. Very illegal in places where that matters.

Adaptive Immunity - (Implant) - Grants (+) to Body saves vs disease and infection, even of alien origin.

AR Goggles - (Item) A cheap alternative to an OGRE implant, with the downside of having lower resolution, more bugs and exploits, and persistent adware.

Babelfish - (Slickware 1) Translation and decryption software. Works best with text, has a short delay when working with speech. Can be used to learn a new language (with sufficient source material and time. INT check needed if time is limited)

BrownNote - (1-Use Program) H-type siren-somatic cognitohazard, vaccine included (1 hour resistance). Non-inoculated individuals must make Body save or void bowels in crippling pain.

Copter - (Drone) A basic flying drone. Comes equipped with a camera, can be outfitted to carry light items. Weapon mount option available (pistol only, cannot carry additional ammo)

Cuttlefish Cloak - (Item) A long hooded poncho that can shift color and texture to match its surroundings. Must readjust if wearer moves. Civilian models do not insulate against thermal vision.

Cyberbrain - (Implant 3) - Consists of file storage, slicksocket and terminal jack. Can directly store OGRE video recordings. Cannot be used to backup or transfer a mind.

Exowomb - (Item) Safe external gestation of a fetus, plus prenatal genetic modification. Budget models can only deal with baseline humans, advanced versions can accept custom blueprints.

Firefly Hive - (Item) Clutch of small luminescent biobots that may be given simple commands via cyberbrain or computer. Good for marking things. Can sacrifice themselves to make a single blinding flash.

Flesh Interface - [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]

Hand Cannon - (Weapon) A shotgun that can be wielded in one hand. Requires 50 STR or Spinal Rig to wield without self-inflicted injury.

Hellbox - (Item) A sleek, silver box running a very small and customizably unpleasant v-sim. Hooks directly into the cyberbrain, can only be released from the outside.

KUNO.exe - (1-Use Program) Disguises a hacking attempt as the work of a legendarily crass and technically charismatic hacker. Like signing it "Alan Smithee", except with more petty vandalism. 

Logic Core - (Special Implant) An android's processing center. Uses a completely foreign architecture to a typical cyberbrain, which are modeled on human brains. Consists of file storage, slicksocket, terminal jack, and Black Box, at no implant cost. All androids start with a logic core. installing one in a human is (-) Surgery / Cybernetics and implant cost 5. Failure will result in death, because you just took out someone's brain.

MiniTachi - (Item) A small, six-legged spider drone with grip-pad feet. Typically comes pre-programmed with a bubbly AI demeanor. Weapon mount option available.

Molly Module - (Implant 1) Retractable claws implanted in fingertips. 2d10 damage, bleed effect on critical hit.

Myul - (Drone) - A sturdy, four-legged robot about the size of a large dog. Can carry 5 pieces of bulky equipment (or 5 saddlebags full of small items)

Partition Program - (1-Use Program) Used to observe a virus or other hazardous program in a safe environment, where it cannot infect other systems.

Riot Shield - (Weapon) + 10 Armor, +20 if in shield wall. Can increase solo bonus to +20 by moving at half Speed. Can only use one-handed weapons while wielding.

Spider's Glory - (Armor) +10 armor. Absolutely gorgeous silk robes. Lightweight, can be worn under other clothes. Sumptuary laws ban most from ever possessing it.

TACNET - (Slickware 1) Encrypted communication channel. Location detection built in, video recorded with OGRE implants can be shared with others.

TURRON - (1 Use Program) Slang term; encompasses a wide variety of gift programs used to appease guardian AI within secure networks.

ZombieParty- (1-Use Program) Can be used to reactivate a deadzoned cyberbrain (supposing that the body is still in reasonable shape and there's no Black Box) and give it basic commands.

 

Cognitohazards

These are a way of directly attacking the brain through sensory input. No matter the actual effect or means of dispersal, they all follow the same pattern - you can practically mad-libs them.

Type

• H-type - Affects humans only.
  
• A-type - Affects androids only.
  
• U-type - Universal - very rare.

Vector

• Basilisk - Triggered through visual stimuli (can be paired with siren vectors)
  
• Siren - Triggered through auditory stimuli (can be paired with basilisk vectors)
  
• Maenad - Applied directly through the cyberbrain via computer network
  

Target

• Soma - Attacks bodily functions and reactions. BODY save.
  
• Psyche - Attacks behavior, thoughts, beliefs. FEAR save.
  
• Pnuemon - [DATA EXPUNGED]. SANITY save.

Failing A Save

Cognitohazards have a wide range of effects, though they can be shoved under the umbrella of "involuntary reaction in the victim." This can be anything from shitting your pants to developing a potent phobia (the list in CoC is silly in its own context but if treated as the desired and programmed outcome of the trapmaker's art, I think it is improved somewhat).

Generally you will want to avoid ones that immediately / permanently make a character unusable in one go (unless they are telegraphed VERY well). Long-effect maenad vectors / A-type hazards can take up slickware slots until forcibly removed (and meatbrain ones can take up equivalent slots)

If there's a chance of the effect becoming permanent (either constant or pavlovian), I'd say give the target an additional save.

Vaccines

Successfully saving against a cognitohazard grants temporary inoculation (1 hr). Afterwards, you'll have (+) to resist that hazard, and if you survive it 3 times, you are completely immune.

Vaccines, being a weakened form of the hazard, work in the exact same way - inoculated for 1 hour, then (+) to resist the hazard. Unfortunately, you can't just give yourself the inoculation three times - it only counts for the first exposure.

WHUZZAT SMELL?

IS BLUUD!

Josh (@BernietheFlumph) made a tweet

Idea: A "love potion" that instead of increasing erotic desire, amplifies agape--your altruistic love for humanity as a whole.

I couldn't let this fall by the wayside, so here's a shotgun scenario writeup.

PREMISE: The actual, literal, not metaphorical or sacramental transubstantiated blood of Yeshua ben Yosef (carpenter and political agitator) is the Potion of Greatest Love - an elixir which evokes in its drinker an immediate and essentially irrevocable altruistic drive towards all beings.

It's effects are (slightly modified from Josh' suggestion):

• Whatever your CHA or WIS score is, you now have a +3 modifier in both.
• Whenever you attempt to heal someone, you always heal the maximum amount possible.
• Advantage on all rolls involving medicine, empathy, or diplomacy.
• You must make and fail a WIS check in order to participate in or order violence.
• No cap on number of hirelings. They still need taken care of, but they won't need traditional pay.

HOOK: Somehow, the Potion of Greatest Love has been found, or thought to be found. Perhaps there is a book. An apocryphal book! The Questions of the Upper Room, which is a fragmentary 2nd century text in Greek that rewrites the Last Supper scene to contain all the big apocryphal hits: miracles out of nowhere, symbolism nobody remembers the meaning of, virulent antisemitism, the works. The actual important bit is how, through some seriously improbable events, some of the apostles figure out the blood = potion thing.


PROBLEMS: Can include -

• The Questions is currently in the hands of some billionaire playing the antiquities market! Someone (ie, you) should go steal it!
• The Potion isn't where anyone would look for it! Someone probably took it to Ethiopia or India ages ago and forgot about it!
• The Potion is currently in the possession of a reclusive religious order who believes the time is not yet right! They have taken everything falling apart into account and do not see any reason to change!
• The Potion is currently being sought by a garden-variety USAian messianic cult! The leader is just some guy with enough charisma to take advantage of vulnerable people and is generally pretty terrible. None of them have any idea what the Potion will do, and would be disappointed if they did.
• The Potion is considered a threat by a militant randian accelerationist faction who wish to destroy empathy and altruism entirely! What are you waiting for go stop that shit!
• Through the power of SCIENCE it may be possible to generate more of the Potion, if you can find a sample!
• A sphinx! Why is there a sphinx guarding the Potion? Who knows! It's the sort of thing that just happens in apocrypha!

Thirteen Items

Months ago, Michael Prescott issued a challenge to make the most evocative setting possible using a 13-item inventory.

I am nothing if not exceedingly timely and on the ball.

The Possessions of Sen Mazzaroth, Wanderer

1. Acupuncture Needles and Thread

The golden needles and silver thread favored by the chirurgeons of Iln is hard to come by, especially by foreigners, and all the more desired for their potency in cleaning the spirit and drawing out corruptions.

2. Bottled Demon

Steeped in its own liquor, the putrescent bruise-blue embryo still glares through the murk with burning gold eyes and serrated smile. It offers a boon if released.

3. Hand-Woven Scarf

Long nights of work by one beloved went into this long strip of scarlet and gold. The family histories going back eight generations are embroidered in careful calligraphy, ending in the twined circles of rings.

4. Horned Pilgrimage Mask

A plain mask, lacquered white. Such masks serve three purposes: The first is to maintain the Law of Humility whilst traveling abroad. The second is to denote the profession of the wearer, by shape. The last is to state their purpose, by color. 

5. Patched Traveling Clothes

Insulated against cold, repaired against damage, over and over again. With enough time, all kin of the road wear the same garments.

6. Obsidian Sword

Certain smithing enchantments will draw the shattered fragments of such a weapon back into a whole piece. This one was clearly performed by a master, for it draws upon all seven humours of the soul.

7. Red Ocarina

Certain melodies, when played on instruments made of clay from the sacred river Gyensol, allows for the calling up and binding of misborn and miscarried spirits. They flock to it as if to the distant call of a mother.

8. Road Cakes

A small loaf of this dense black bread can be rationed out over days. It tastes faintly of honey from the high hidden valleys

9. Icon of Safety

The terrible appearance of this leering visage is more than enough to scare away most nightly ambushers. The ancestral memory of the monsters that once worse such faces is still strong.

10. Rosary of Fire-Pearls

A mantra to collect the mind, a mantra for the emptying of vessels, a mantra for seeking of secrets.

11. Golden Bell

The clerics of the gods in the Oubliette are known to carry these ritual tools while making their rounds. How did it arrive here on the surface?

12. Iron Rod Rifle

The gunpowder societies of the Delta keep their secrets, leading other armies to unorthodox alternatives. The weapons of the Edhaspar Regulars launch white-hot iron spikes at speeds below sound, spawning dozens of widespread cliches about porcupines and pincusions.

13. Sturdy Boots

Tradition has it that every cobbler who repairs a wanderer's boots will apply their brand to the leather, making a permanent mark of the roads they have traveled.

Ten Magical Items

Crown of the Damned Mooncalf

A braided milk-silver circlet. Owned by a changeling prince who rejected his fae parentage and dove instead into the study of heresies and heterodoxies, culminating in his embrace of the Malthusian Emanations and Twined Demonic Dance, an experiment of disastrous consequences for him and his kingdom.

• Wearer may view all invisible (purposefully or naturally) signs and beings.
• May transform into a beam of moonlight (moon must be visible) at will.

Scepter of the Last Dwarven King

A diorite scepter engraved with scenes of dwarves at war against beasts of the deep and crowned with a ruby the size of a child’s skull and carved into the semblance of such. Held last by King Uristagar VII (“The Mad”) and thought lost with the majority of his corpse.

• Possessor may command up to 10 maggot-men servitors.
• Possessor is recognized, legally, as a member of the High Oricalcum Warren regardless of origin.

Cat’s Tenth Life

A tiny figurine of a kitten curled up asleep, carved out of carnelian.

• After the possessor dies, the figurine will crumble into powder. A living kitten carrying the soul and memories of the dead player will then claw itself out of the corpse’s stomach.
• The becatted player can talk and cast magic, but is a cat in all other ways. Their class is now Magic-User.

Tyrant’s Bell

A silver bell, engraved with excerpts from the ancient laws of Hagranna and depictions of the grotesque punishments.

When rung, it will have one of the following effects:

• If underground, it will summon a redcap executioner - they have no obligation to be friendly, but they cannot directly harm the wielder.
• In the presence of a violator of the Code - Target will be painfully and visibly branded with whatever violation they committed (note: the Code is thousands of years divorced from modern laws so the target might not have committed any criminal or immoral act.)
• Over an execution - Target’s ghost is bound to the bell, summoned when it is rung in a certain pattern.
• Over a construct - will awaken and animate it.
• Over an altar - the god worshipped there must make a sign that it has heard the request made.

Seraph’s Feather

A long flight feather, shimmering with the glow of golden sunset, moving like a tongue of flame. It warms your hands as you hold it.

• Source of light and heat.
• If used as a quill, no lies may be written with it.
• May cast a searing beam of light (d8 damage, double damage to evil spirits and demons)

Book of the Gorgon

An anonymous, first-person account of a gorgon’s life, covering a period of about fifty years. The pages are snakeskin and the cover consists of thin sheets of marble. It is written in Classical Aegean.

Within it, besides the meditations of a solitary creature cursed to predation, are the following spells and topics of note:

• Flesh to Stone
• Stone to Flesh
• Kranat’s Killer Kidney Stone
• Mold Stone
• Sculpt Flesh

Brass Bull’s Anchor

A ship’s anchor fashioned in the shape of a bull with curving horns. Tarnished with age and spotted with barnacles. It was upon this anchor that the Maritime Savior was tied and tossed into the deeps to die.

• Those in physical contact with the anchor can breathe underwater.
• Sprinkling your blood over the anchor will allow you to carry it deftly. It does 2d12 damage.
• Bovines of all sorts will be rendered agreeable in its presence and defensive of the anchor.

Balm of Blindness

A thick, pale green paste in a lacquered bamboo vessel.

• When applied to the eyes, it will either cause or cure blindness, as appropriate.
• Those who have been blinded gain prophetic visions - once per session they may enter a trance to see something that will occur:
• 1-5: Within a few hours
• 6-10: Within a few days
• 11-15: Within months
• 16-20: Within years

Events will not be directly related to anyone present at first, but will always be something players might interact with.

Helm of the Ironbroker

Little more than a bucket with eye slits and engraved runes. Crudely made and bordering on useless, it seems the practice work of a distracted, untalented smith.

• This item will open the cannon-scarred doors of the Vault of the Star-Eyed God, high in the mountains. These chambers have never been opened before, and contain all the riches the Ironbroker accumulated in his extended life.

Emanations of the Demiurge

A long parchment scroll, beautifully illuminated, containing a treatise on the movement of the celestial bodies, the spiritual powers thereof, and the secret nature of all the hump-backed sky.

• Contains directions on the (lengthy, expensive, difficult) process of building a golden barge.
• Contains a map of nearby spheres as well as a path to Troika.
• Contains directions on how to brew space-mead.

Adapting the SCP Wiki

Alex Andreev

Ah, the SCP wiki.  Longtime home of short spooky fiction of highly variable quality and a nigh-bottomless well of material to draw from, if you can find the good stuff.

Well, worry no longer. I did some finding for you.

All of these are cooked up for Emmy Allen's Esoteric Enterprises.

SCP-075 - Corrosive Snail

A snail with a clawed, six-fingered foot, about 20 cm long. Can launch itself at great speeds, secrets a powerful base corrosive slime.

3 flesh (1die) 3 grit (1 die), AC 16 (shell + speed), leaping claw (1d6)

It's All Basic: A successful attack does 1d10 corrosive damage for the next 1d6 turns or until it is washed off.

SCP-140 - An Incomplete Chronicle

A Chronicle of the Daevas (author unknown) details the history of the Daevites, an ancient civilization of theocratic-imperialist city-states in central Asia. True copies of the text absorb anything that might be used to write within it, favoring ink and blood, expanding Daevite history closer to the present day; initially deposed by Qin Kai in the 200s BCE, the Daevites have been able to expand up to the reign of Genghis Khan through retroactive expansion. Inert copies contain the following spells:

• Bleeding Curse
• Cause Wounds
• Sacrifice
• Sculpt Flesh
• Summon

True copies additionally contain:

• Hurl Through Time
• Call Down the Void

SCP-186 - To End All Wars

Recovered weaponry from the Battle of Husiatyn Woods (7/24/1917 to 8/13/1917) include:

• Modified machine guns that generate tumors within target organism. 
• d10 direct flesh damage
• Mortar shells containing gas that render animal cells incapable of death. 
• Target can no longer be reduced below 1 flesh. Any damage beyond this is taken directly by attibutes.
• Concertina wire that triggers severe hallucinogenic effects on blood contact.
• Save vs poison to resist incapacitation.
• Mask-penetrating gas grenades that cause target to feel as if they are on fire.
• Save to avoid desperately trying to put self out and excruciating pain.

SCP-261 - Pan-Dimensional Vending Machine

A matte-black vending machine the produces a random extrauniversal, alterchronic or otherwise impossible snack food. Accepts yen only, in any amount.

1. Pepsi: Dragon Twist
2. Self-cooking bag of lemon clams
3. Build-Your-Own-Candybots
4. 'Aged Meat Product"
5. Kinder Matryoshka
6. The Philosopher's Scone
7. Madam Jesute's Blueberry Cigarettes
8. Chocolate-flavored human breast milk
9. One thousand apple seeds.
10. A live hand grenade.

SCP-354 - The Red Pool

A seemingly-bottomless pool of red liquid, somewhere in the frozen north of Canada. Dispenses hostile paradox beasts at irregular intervals. An attempt at draining the pool proved catastrophic. The pool is expanding.

SCP-423 - The Self-Insert

A sapient textual entity capable of inserting itself into a written narrative as a background character named Fred. Can jump between books, is currently kept in a blank journal to facilitate communication. A book containing Fred contains the following spells:

• Bookspeak
• Comprehend Languages

SCP-478 - Tooth Fairies

Something like a small, dark moth, that will embed itself in the nasal cavity of a target in a mucus cocoon. It will trigger the explosive growth of teeth in the upper palate and then down the throat and esophagus, reaching the stomach in 2-4 days. The process is appropriately painful, leeching calcium from the target's bones.

SCP-662 & SCP-1867 - Mister Deeds and Lord Blackwood

Ringing the small silver bell will summon a well-dressed British butler. Mr. Deeds will procure any item and accomplish any task (within reason) requested by the bell's user. He will, on occasion, be accompanied by a sea slug in a small fishbowl: this is Lord Theodore Thomas Blackwood, noted explorer and naturalist. He has no idea why everyone keeps going on about him being a sea slug, he clearly isn't. Sea slugs don't possess encyclopedic knowledge of the wonderful unexplored regions of the globe.

Neither Deeds nor Blackwood are any more sturdy than a typical butler and sea-slug, though Deeds will return after being killed if his bell is rung.

SCP-682 - The Hard-to-Destroy Reptile

A very big, very angry, very hard-to-kill lizard. Adapts to resist whatever is thrown at it.

45 flesh (15 dice) AC 19 (scaly hide) bite 3d8

Adaptive Armor:  Gains 1 damage reduction every round after taking a new damage type. If hit with a second damage type, it will begin gaining DR towards that type and the first reduction stack will decay 1/round. This armor does not apply to acid damage.

Fucking Invincible: SCP-682 cannot be brought below 1 flesh. It will regenerate 1 flesh/hour.

SCP-701 - The Hanged King's Tragedy

A five-act tragedy by an unknown author. A third of performances will be accompanied by a silent hooded figure (implied to be the "Ambassador of Alagadda") in the background of several scenes and deviations from the script. This culminate at the banquet of Act V, where an invoice of tribute to the Court of Alagadda is read and the figure the Ambassador takes the stage in full. Several members of the cast are murdered by their fellows, with the remainder committing suicide via group hanging. A violent riot spawns among the audience, with survivors causing further acts of random violence for up to 24 hours afterwards.

Any version of  The Hanged King's Tragedy (1640 quarto, 1733 folio, 1813 Cambridge University Press edition, 1965 trade paperback, 1971 hardcover), contains the following spells:

• Command
• Cause Fear
• Geas
• Control Rope
• Contact the Court of Alagadda

SCP-939 - In Many Voices 

Pack predators. Translucent red skin, thermal sensors instead of eyes. Internal organs are all distributed throughout the body. Nasty sons of bitches.

4 flesh (1 die) 12 grit (3 dice) AC 16, bite + claw (d10 + d8)

Distributed Organs: Immune to critical hits.

Perfect Mimicry: Can mimic a human voice perfectly.

AMN-C227: Short-range breath attack. Save vs. poison against disorientation and memory loss.

Hidden Offspring: Juveniles are visibly indistinguishable from human children.

SCP-966 - Sleep Killer

Gaunt predatory humanoids visible only in infrared.

3 flesh (1 die) 6 grit (2 dice) AC 14 (nimble) bite (d8)

Dream Eater: Target must make save vs magic or lose ability to sleep. Effect blocked by lead or other dense material.

SCP-1000 - Bigfoot

The previously dominant species of Earth. Deposed by prehistoric humanity in a global slave rebellion. Masters of biotech. Nocturnal. Not overtly hostile, but losing their patience.

6 flesh (2 dice) 6 grit (2 dice) AC 16 (Chitin armor), biogenic handgun (d10, replenishes ammunition with biomass)

A Walk in the Woods: 50% chance of disengaging with no chance of following in a forested environment.

SCP-1306 - Potion of Summon Bird

A mixture of birdfeed that will, without fail, summon at least two birds per hour from unobserved space. Birds called will be physiologically or behaviorally anomalous, non-native to the region, or otherwise stretching the definition of "bird".

SCP-1425 - Star Signals

A self-help book containing assorted "Star Focus" exercises meant to tune the reader into "phenomenological frequencies". Contents are considered a memetic hazard with a ~60% infection rate. Published in association with the celebrity-heavy new-age Fifth Church. Contains the following spells:

• Contact Star
• Prismatic Spray
• Cloudkill

SCP-1510 - Tarnished Legionnaire

A rusted Roman infantry helmet c. 107 BCE. If worn by a man 28-35 years of age, the wearer's personality will be overidden by that of Publius Carthephilus Aetius, a veteran of the Jugurthine War under Consul Gaius Marius. The wearer will revert to normal with no adverse effects or memory of the event when the helmet is removed.

SCP-1839 - The Reproductive Methods of Bony Fish

A hardcover textbook by Dr. Arthur Salernus. Upon perusal, the reader realizes that they are a fish and goes through an episode of flopping and gasping about. Those who survive this paroxysm may read the book normally, despite the fact that they are a fish and fish cannot read. Contains the following spells:

• Water Breathing
• Summon Bigger Fish

 

SCP-2085 - The Black Rabbit Company

A crack team of cyborg commando catgirls (plus one hapless shmuck) living the anarchist dream - toppling crime syndicates, committing corporate sabotage, having all sorts of zany adventures. They've got their eyes on a spaceship, but there's a lot to be done between now and then.

The Girls - 6 flesh (2 dice) 9 grit (3 dice). AC 15 (smart suit), weapon of choice (see below)
Wizard - 3 flesh (1 die) 3 grit (1 die) AC 12 (spacesuit) pistol (d8)

• Boss (Bodyguard) - Handler, wrangler, fixer, big sis. Dependable as a rock. The boss.
• Shotgun, sword, throwing knives x5.
• Momoko (Mercenary) - Boisterous, larger-than-life, fun-loving. Total gun-nut. The muscle.
• Automatic rifle, special reload, explosives x3. 
• Hana (Doctor) - Quiet, idealistic, moral compass, voice of reason. Field medic.
• Rifle, first-aid kit, surgeon's tools.
• Nanami (Criminal) - Aggressive, theatrical, angry, outrageous. Tech support & memeticist.
• Pistol, burner laptop, external drive of weaponized memes.
• Tomi (Mercenary) -  Monosyllabic, monotone, distant, cold. Gross personal habits. Sniper.
• Marksman's rifle, twin pistols, trashy romance novel.
• Wizard (Explorer) - Big dreamer with a dead past. Team mascot. 
• Bathrobe and wizard hat.

Cybernetic Augmentation - All members sans Wizard have the following cybernetic upgrades: Claws, Darkvision, Mental Communication (tacnet and secure wifi connection), Unnatural Strength or Lightning Speed.

SCP-2146 - Space Whale

The corpse of an adult bowhead whale in medium Earth orbit. Emits regular monthly radio broadcasts of a man cheerfully narrating cryptic, often gruesome stories, radio plays, documentaries, songs, and sermons. (A good source of adventure hooks: what in the world is space whale talking about today?)

SCP-2273 - Major Alexei Belitrov, of the Red Army's 22^nd Armored Infantry Division

A soldier from an alternative timeline. Wears a suit of powered chitinous armor built by SCP-1000.

3 flesh (1 die) 12 grit (3 die) AC 18 (powered chitin armor) fist (d8)

Powered chitin armor includes 270-degree field of view, a carrying capacity of 1200 kilograms, and an organic radio transceiver.

SCP-3199 - Humans, Refuted

A featherless biped. A chimera of human, chimpanzee, and common chicken stock. Aggressive predators. Will roost in abandoned structures and lay as many eggs as possible to fit in the space.

4 flesh (1 die) 8 grit (2 die) AC 14 (tough skin) bite (d6)

Liquefying Spit: Ranged corrosive attack (d12, save vs poison for half)

The Backup: All specimens carry a viable egg with them at all times. The entire species can be restored from this backup.

Inert Underwater: Rendered dormant if submerged in water, believed to be because there is no empty space to lay eggs in.

SCP-3288 - The Aristocrats

Homo anthropophagus - ghoulish inbred descendants of the Hapsburg dynasty. Hairless, albinos with gigantic lower jaws crowded with six rows of teeth and arms too long for the body. Physiological and mental addiction to human flesh. Breed like rabbits, abnormally tough. Obsessive about blood purity. Literal baby-eaters. Aim to become the dominant species on the planet.

6 flesh (2 dice) 12 grit (3 dice) AC 14 (thick skin) bite (d8)

Light Sensitivity: Excellent darkvision, disadvantage to all actions in bright light.  

Guns and Kung-Fu for Knaves of All Sorts

Arky Fitzwater

Guns

The bones of this are stolen wholesale from Luke Thomson and Ben Milton (again!)

Firearms come in two basic categories.

• Pistol - d8 damage, 1 slot, 3 quality, can be fired in melee
• Rifle - d10 damage, 2 slots, 3 quality, disadvantage when fired into melee.

Reloading depends on what kind of gun you have.

• Black powder - Must be reloaded after each shot, reloading takes a turn.
• Semi-automatic - Pistols have 6 shots, rifles have 8.

I tend to imagine the cutting edge of firearms in my games to be something akin to Colt revolvers and Winchester rifles. No further than an M1 Garand. Which will still co-exist with black powder muskets. Anachronism reigns supreme.

An ammo pouch and cleaning tools take up 1 slot. It can hold 24 charges / bullets

Rifles can be affixed with a bayonet (d6 damage, 3 quality, 1 slot), which can be removed and used as a normal melee weapon if needed.

For those who want more granularity / variety among their firearms, tags can be integrated, as per Luke's post.

A standard grenade takes up 1 slot and does 2d6 damage within a 10 foot radius, ignoring armor.

ATATATATATATATATATATATA

Martial Arts

Fighting styles fulfill the role of both weapon and armor, and take up equivalent slots. Multiple styles may be learned by a character, but only one can be equipped at a time - switching styles requires that you have the slots available for use. New styles can only be learned by finding a master and then leveling up while in their tutelage.

Each martial art has a perk and a drawback.

49 Empty Palms - d8 damage, 14 AC, 5 slots

• Perk - Your attacks count as magical.
• Drawback - Known only to angels.

Peasant's Path - d6 damage, 12 AC, 2 slots

• Perk - You blend in with crowds of commoners and rural folk.
• Drawback - You cannot hold a position of high social status.

Wheel of the Elements - d6 damage, 13 AC, Spells: Shape Earth, Control Fire, Bend Water, Move Air, 7 slots

• Perk - 1/2 damage from preferred element.
• Drawback - Double damage received from opposed element.

Crane Style - d8 damage, 13 AC, 4 slots

• Perk - Your reach is as a spear.
• Drawback - Disadvantage when resisting knockdown.

Mountain Stance - d10 damage, 18 AC, 9 slots

• Perk - You cannot be knocked down in this stance.
• Drawback -You cannot leave the ground in this stance.

Pressure Point Style - 0* damage, 15 AC, 5 slots   

• Perk - You can catch anything thrown to you.
• Drawback -Your hands are permanently numb.

* Target must pass a CON save or be paralyzed.

Way of the Pebble - d6 damage (ranged),  14 AC, 5 slots

• Perk - If you kill an enemy, you may make an additional attack on a second.
• Drawback -Skin takes on a rough, unpleasant appearance.

Porcelain Fist - d10 damage, 11AC, 3 slots

• Perk - You may damage yourself to do more damage (no greater than lvl)
• Drawback - Healing you receive is half as effective.

Drunken Monk - 2d4 damage, 13 AC, 4 slots

• Perk - Can use any item as an improvised weapon
• Drawback - Must be intoxicated to use this stance.

Way of the White Hand - d6 damage 16 AC, Spells; White Hand, Black Hand, 8 slots

• Perk - Knowledge of distant lands and cultures.
• Drawback -Vegetarian diet, deathly feud with the Red Hand.

 Several perks / drawbacks were suggested by twocalf on the Discord server. That gif is an edit from K6BD done by Cryophage.

Methods of Detection

This is a follow up to my earlier post on material replacements for Protection from Evil. This time around, it's replacements for Detect, a spells that falls into the same category of being applicable to a great deal of things, but never differentiating between the things it's looking for.

Dowsing Rod (Detects materials or individuals)

A split length of wood with an internal chamber of half a thumb's size. When a substance is placed within the chamber, the rod will point towards the nearest source of that substance. This property can be used to find specific individuals, so long as the user is in possession of the target's name and some part of their body.

Dowsing rods may be found in the possession of witches, hedge wizards, and other magic users.

Shamble (Detects worked magic)

A makeshift device of twigs, string, and whatever's on hand that can detect nearby human-worked magic. A trade secret of witches.

Shambles are temporary things, and cannot be bought. One might, however, be able to persuade a witch to teach them the craft of it.

White Leech (Detects disease)

Turns a foul brown-red color when feeding upon those with a severe bacterial or viral infection.

A dose at the local barber's costs 5s.

Bezoar Powder (Detects poison)

Low-quality bezoars are ground up into a powder that can detect, but not cure, poison. If sprinkled upon or mixed into a poisonous substance, it will let off a pinkish smoke.

A bag of bezoar powder, enough for 3 uses, costs 50 silver.

Canary in a Cage (Detects poison gas)

Dies when exposed to toxic gas. Depending on the toxicity of the gas, players will have to resist effects immediately, or in 1d6 turns.

The wicker cage costs 5 silver, the canary 10.

Dog or cat (Detects ghosts, Folk, and other spirits)

The easiest and most reliable method, though it is likewise the broadest and least specific. Prone to false alarms triggered by the mailman or the feline desire to fuck with people.

Common pets cost 1-10 silver.

Soulwood Bough (Detects angels and demons)

A length of fragrant, silvery wood. Blooms white in the presence of angels, and black in that of demons.

Can be found in the possession of some magic-users and priests.

Angeldown (Detects evil spirits)

Delicate white feathers that will catch with brilliant gold-orange-blue-white fire when in the presence of a demon. Evil spirits trapped in its light will take an additional 1 damage per turn, per feather.

A single feather costs 50 silver in regions angels frequent, and 500+ silver where they do not.

"Forth, and Fear No Darkness!"

Scrap Princess had a good post about the standard spell list and what makes a good or bad spell, and that got me to thinking, and thinking led me to this.

Instead of re-imagining the spell, I'll turn it into the item(s) that it might as well be.

Marko Djurdjevic

Material Methods of Protection Against Evil

I'll have more to say on the subject of evil at a later time (Emmy Allen's essay on the topic was quite inspiring), but for now treat "evil" as related to demons and evil spirits. These are, at least in my default setting, generated by human action and belief just as gods are. None of these methods will stop an orc from burying an axe in your head, nor stop any spirits that are not demons. (With the exception of salt, which works on all spirits.)

Salt

A circle drawn in salt will create a barrier which spirits may not pass. One unit of salt per HD of the entity is required to maintain the barrier. If the circle is disturbed, the spirit will be able to escape. Material beings are able to pass over the circle, though most animals will instinctively avoid it.

A bag of salt costs 10 silver.

Holy Water

Burns evil spirits with 1d8 damage. Particularly zealous water burns for 1d10, socially religious water burns for 1d6, and mildly devout water burns for 1d4.

Holy water costs 25 silver.

Anointing with Oil

A mark is made upon the forehead, preventing possession and defending against mental effects for one hour. Length of effect is doubled if it is applied by ordained clergy or otherwise holy individual.

A vial of oil costs 100 silver and has enough for 6 uses. A permanent tattoo may be made by a specialist, for a cost equal to the character's first level-up.

Incense 

When burnt, produces a strong, pleasing smell that makes evil spirits sluggish and slothsome. Those effected (within 10 feet of the group) always act last in initiative and have a 2-in-6 chance per turn of not making an attack. The smell clings to clothing and is impossible to mask - sensitive noses can detect it from adjacent rooms.

A cake of incense costs 15 silver and burns for 2 hours. A thurible costs 50 silver.

Talismans

Provides wearer with a certain amount of psychological support, granting a minor bonus against fear. Substantial additional effects are unlikely, but possible.

Talismans range from 1-100 silver.

Laying on of Hands

A minor sign. Acts as Bless when made by a ordained cleric or holy individual as part of an appropriate ceremony.

No cost, but you'll probably have to sit through a sermon.