Adapting the SCP Wiki

Alex Andreev

Ah, the SCP wiki.  Longtime home of short spooky fiction of highly variable quality and a nigh-bottomless well of material to draw from, if you can find the good stuff.

Well, worry no longer. I did some finding for you.

All of these are cooked up for Emmy Allen's Esoteric Enterprises.

SCP-075 - Corrosive Snail

A snail with a clawed, six-fingered foot, about 20 cm long. Can launch itself at great speeds, secrets a powerful base corrosive slime.

3 flesh (1die) 3 grit (1 die), AC 16 (shell + speed), leaping claw (1d6)

It's All Basic: A successful attack does 1d10 corrosive damage for the next 1d6 turns or until it is washed off.

SCP-140 - An Incomplete Chronicle

A Chronicle of the Daevas (author unknown) details the history of the Daevites, an ancient civilization of theocratic-imperialist city-states in central Asia. True copies of the text absorb anything that might be used to write within it, favoring ink and blood, expanding Daevite history closer to the present day; initially deposed by Qin Kai in the 200s BCE, the Daevites have been able to expand up to the reign of Genghis Khan through retroactive expansion. Inert copies contain the following spells:

• Bleeding Curse
• Cause Wounds
• Sacrifice
• Sculpt Flesh
• Summon

True copies additionally contain:

• Hurl Through Time
• Call Down the Void

SCP-186 - To End All Wars

Recovered weaponry from the Battle of Husiatyn Woods (7/24/1917 to 8/13/1917) include:

• Modified machine guns that generate tumors within target organism. 
• d10 direct flesh damage
• Mortar shells containing gas that render animal cells incapable of death. 
• Target can no longer be reduced below 1 flesh. Any damage beyond this is taken directly by attibutes.
• Concertina wire that triggers severe hallucinogenic effects on blood contact.
• Save vs poison to resist incapacitation.
• Mask-penetrating gas grenades that cause target to feel as if they are on fire.
• Save to avoid desperately trying to put self out and excruciating pain.

SCP-261 - Pan-Dimensional Vending Machine

A matte-black vending machine the produces a random extrauniversal, alterchronic or otherwise impossible snack food. Accepts yen only, in any amount.

1. Pepsi: Dragon Twist
2. Self-cooking bag of lemon clams
3. Build-Your-Own-Candybots
4. 'Aged Meat Product"
5. Kinder Matryoshka
6. The Philosopher's Scone
7. Madam Jesute's Blueberry Cigarettes
8. Chocolate-flavored human breast milk
9. One thousand apple seeds.
10. A live hand grenade.

SCP-354 - The Red Pool

A seemingly-bottomless pool of red liquid, somewhere in the frozen north of Canada. Dispenses hostile paradox beasts at irregular intervals. An attempt at draining the pool proved catastrophic. The pool is expanding.

SCP-423 - The Self-Insert

A sapient textual entity capable of inserting itself into a written narrative as a background character named Fred. Can jump between books, is currently kept in a blank journal to facilitate communication. A book containing Fred contains the following spells:

• Bookspeak
• Comprehend Languages

SCP-478 - Tooth Fairies

Something like a small, dark moth, that will embed itself in the nasal cavity of a target in a mucus cocoon. It will trigger the explosive growth of teeth in the upper palate and then down the throat and esophagus, reaching the stomach in 2-4 days. The process is appropriately painful, leeching calcium from the target's bones.

SCP-662 & SCP-1867 - Mister Deeds and Lord Blackwood

Ringing the small silver bell will summon a well-dressed British butler. Mr. Deeds will procure any item and accomplish any task (within reason) requested by the bell's user. He will, on occasion, be accompanied by a sea slug in a small fishbowl: this is Lord Theodore Thomas Blackwood, noted explorer and naturalist. He has no idea why everyone keeps going on about him being a sea slug, he clearly isn't. Sea slugs don't possess encyclopedic knowledge of the wonderful unexplored regions of the globe.

Neither Deeds nor Blackwood are any more sturdy than a typical butler and sea-slug, though Deeds will return after being killed if his bell is rung.

SCP-682 - The Hard-to-Destroy Reptile

A very big, very angry, very hard-to-kill lizard. Adapts to resist whatever is thrown at it.

45 flesh (15 dice) AC 19 (scaly hide) bite 3d8

Adaptive Armor:  Gains 1 damage reduction every round after taking a new damage type. If hit with a second damage type, it will begin gaining DR towards that type and the first reduction stack will decay 1/round. This armor does not apply to acid damage.

Fucking Invincible: SCP-682 cannot be brought below 1 flesh. It will regenerate 1 flesh/hour.

SCP-701 - The Hanged King's Tragedy

A five-act tragedy by an unknown author. A third of performances will be accompanied by a silent hooded figure (implied to be the "Ambassador of Alagadda") in the background of several scenes and deviations from the script. This culminate at the banquet of Act V, where an invoice of tribute to the Court of Alagadda is read and the figure the Ambassador takes the stage in full. Several members of the cast are murdered by their fellows, with the remainder committing suicide via group hanging. A violent riot spawns among the audience, with survivors causing further acts of random violence for up to 24 hours afterwards.

Any version of  The Hanged King's Tragedy (1640 quarto, 1733 folio, 1813 Cambridge University Press edition, 1965 trade paperback, 1971 hardcover), contains the following spells:

• Command
• Cause Fear
• Geas
• Control Rope
• Contact the Court of Alagadda

SCP-939 - In Many Voices 

Pack predators. Translucent red skin, thermal sensors instead of eyes. Internal organs are all distributed throughout the body. Nasty sons of bitches.

4 flesh (1 die) 12 grit (3 dice) AC 16, bite + claw (d10 + d8)

Distributed Organs: Immune to critical hits.

Perfect Mimicry: Can mimic a human voice perfectly.

AMN-C227: Short-range breath attack. Save vs. poison against disorientation and memory loss.

Hidden Offspring: Juveniles are visibly indistinguishable from human children.

SCP-966 - Sleep Killer

Gaunt predatory humanoids visible only in infrared.

3 flesh (1 die) 6 grit (2 dice) AC 14 (nimble) bite (d8)

Dream Eater: Target must make save vs magic or lose ability to sleep. Effect blocked by lead or other dense material.

SCP-1000 - Bigfoot

The previously dominant species of Earth. Deposed by prehistoric humanity in a global slave rebellion. Masters of biotech. Nocturnal. Not overtly hostile, but losing their patience.

6 flesh (2 dice) 6 grit (2 dice) AC 16 (Chitin armor), biogenic handgun (d10, replenishes ammunition with biomass)

A Walk in the Woods: 50% chance of disengaging with no chance of following in a forested environment.

SCP-1306 - Potion of Summon Bird

A mixture of birdfeed that will, without fail, summon at least two birds per hour from unobserved space. Birds called will be physiologically or behaviorally anomalous, non-native to the region, or otherwise stretching the definition of "bird".

SCP-1425 - Star Signals

A self-help book containing assorted "Star Focus" exercises meant to tune the reader into "phenomenological frequencies". Contents are considered a memetic hazard with a ~60% infection rate. Published in association with the celebrity-heavy new-age Fifth Church. Contains the following spells:

• Contact Star
• Prismatic Spray
• Cloudkill

SCP-1510 - Tarnished Legionnaire

A rusted Roman infantry helmet c. 107 BCE. If worn by a man 28-35 years of age, the wearer's personality will be overidden by that of Publius Carthephilus Aetius, a veteran of the Jugurthine War under Consul Gaius Marius. The wearer will revert to normal with no adverse effects or memory of the event when the helmet is removed.

SCP-1839 - The Reproductive Methods of Bony Fish

A hardcover textbook by Dr. Arthur Salernus. Upon perusal, the reader realizes that they are a fish and goes through an episode of flopping and gasping about. Those who survive this paroxysm may read the book normally, despite the fact that they are a fish and fish cannot read. Contains the following spells:

• Water Breathing
• Summon Bigger Fish

 

SCP-2085 - The Black Rabbit Company

A crack team of cyborg commando catgirls (plus one hapless shmuck) living the anarchist dream - toppling crime syndicates, committing corporate sabotage, having all sorts of zany adventures. They've got their eyes on a spaceship, but there's a lot to be done between now and then.

The Girls - 6 flesh (2 dice) 9 grit (3 dice). AC 15 (smart suit), weapon of choice (see below)
Wizard - 3 flesh (1 die) 3 grit (1 die) AC 12 (spacesuit) pistol (d8)

• Boss (Bodyguard) - Handler, wrangler, fixer, big sis. Dependable as a rock. The boss.
• Shotgun, sword, throwing knives x5.
• Momoko (Mercenary) - Boisterous, larger-than-life, fun-loving. Total gun-nut. The muscle.
• Automatic rifle, special reload, explosives x3. 
• Hana (Doctor) - Quiet, idealistic, moral compass, voice of reason. Field medic.
• Rifle, first-aid kit, surgeon's tools.
• Nanami (Criminal) - Aggressive, theatrical, angry, outrageous. Tech support & memeticist.
• Pistol, burner laptop, external drive of weaponized memes.
• Tomi (Mercenary) -  Monosyllabic, monotone, distant, cold. Gross personal habits. Sniper.
• Marksman's rifle, twin pistols, trashy romance novel.
• Wizard (Explorer) - Big dreamer with a dead past. Team mascot. 
• Bathrobe and wizard hat.

Cybernetic Augmentation - All members sans Wizard have the following cybernetic upgrades: Claws, Darkvision, Mental Communication (tacnet and secure wifi connection), Unnatural Strength or Lightning Speed.

SCP-2146 - Space Whale

The corpse of an adult bowhead whale in medium Earth orbit. Emits regular monthly radio broadcasts of a man cheerfully narrating cryptic, often gruesome stories, radio plays, documentaries, songs, and sermons. (A good source of adventure hooks: what in the world is space whale talking about today?)

SCP-2273 - Major Alexei Belitrov, of the Red Army's 22^nd Armored Infantry Division

A soldier from an alternative timeline. Wears a suit of powered chitinous armor built by SCP-1000.

3 flesh (1 die) 12 grit (3 die) AC 18 (powered chitin armor) fist (d8)

Powered chitin armor includes 270-degree field of view, a carrying capacity of 1200 kilograms, and an organic radio transceiver.

SCP-3199 - Humans, Refuted

A featherless biped. A chimera of human, chimpanzee, and common chicken stock. Aggressive predators. Will roost in abandoned structures and lay as many eggs as possible to fit in the space.

4 flesh (1 die) 8 grit (2 die) AC 14 (tough skin) bite (d6)

Liquefying Spit: Ranged corrosive attack (d12, save vs poison for half)

The Backup: All specimens carry a viable egg with them at all times. The entire species can be restored from this backup.

Inert Underwater: Rendered dormant if submerged in water, believed to be because there is no empty space to lay eggs in.

SCP-3288 - The Aristocrats

Homo anthropophagus - ghoulish inbred descendants of the Hapsburg dynasty. Hairless, albinos with gigantic lower jaws crowded with six rows of teeth and arms too long for the body. Physiological and mental addiction to human flesh. Breed like rabbits, abnormally tough. Obsessive about blood purity. Literal baby-eaters. Aim to become the dominant species on the planet.

6 flesh (2 dice) 12 grit (3 dice) AC 14 (thick skin) bite (d8)

Light Sensitivity: Excellent darkvision, disadvantage to all actions in bright light.