Thursday, December 27, 2018

RED and BLU Enterprises

You tell 'em, Saxton.

You know it, I know it, we all know it: these jolly bastards are OSR as hell. Go rewatch the Meet the Team videos for the proof, or just because it's probably been years since you last saw them and they're still hilarious.

For Esoteric Enterprises, naturally.


"If you were from where I was from, you'd be fuckin' dead!"
  • Scattergun (d10, short range)
  • Pistol (d6)
  • BONK! Atomic Punch (Speed x2, AC +4 for 1 turn)
  • Bat (d6)
When you need to get somewhere fast, get something done fast, or generally just harass the living daylights out of someone, Scout's ya boy.


"Sun Tzu said that!"
  • Rocket Launcher (d12, area damage, 4 shots)
  • Shotgun (d12)
  • Buff Banner (All allies get +1 to hit for 1 turn. Refresh 5)
  • Shovel (d10)
  • Rocket Jump - Spend 1 rocket, take 1/4 Flesh damage, get launched in the air.
Has taken a few too many blows to the head. Entirely too many.


"Hudda hudda huh!"
  • Flamethrower (d10, save vs hazards or set alight, depletes on 1-2)
  • Shotgun (d12)
  • Flare Gun (d8 save vs hazards or set alight)
  • Fire Axe (d10)
  • Spook Powers - Immune to Fire, Flame, Extinguish, Painless, Mad Insight
Who is behind the mask? What horrors lie beneath that asbestos-lined suit? None who still live know.


"If I were a bad demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here discussin' it wit ya!"
  • Grenade Launcher (d12, 4 shots)
  • Stickybomb Launcher (d12, remote detonation, 4 shots)
  • Chargin' Targe (+1 AC, can be used with Eyelander)
  • Eyelander (d12, two-handed)
  • Boozer (+1d6 temporary Grit if drunk)
Is constant drinking really that good of a coping mechanism? Our sources say "possibly."



  • Minigun (d12, suppressing fire, depletes on 1-3)
  • Shotgun (d12)
  • Sandvich (Restores 1 Flesh)
  • Boxing Gloves (d8)
A big Russian man with a big Russian gun.


"And if that don't work? Use more gun"
  • Shotgun (d12)
  • Pistol (d8)
  • Wrench (d8)
  • Construction PDA (choose 1 of the below)
    • Sentry Turret - (d10, attacks nearest enemy, depletes 1-3)
    • Dispenser - Contains 5 additional ammunition.
    • Teleporter - Consists of entrance and exit modules. 6 changes
Southern homestyle problem-solving through technical prowess and excessive violence.


"Anyway, zat's how I lost my medical license."
  • Syringe Gun (d8)
  • Medigun (Heals Flesh wounds.)
  • Bonesaw (d10)
  • Archimedes (Pet dove)
  • Ubercharge (Burn all healing points to make target invulnerable for LVL turns)
Owns a fridge full of organs. Not all of them are human. Sees nothing strange about it.


"I'm not a crazed gunman, Dad, I'm an assassin."

  • Sniper Rifle (d12)
  • Submachine Gun (d8, covering fire, depletes on 1 or 2)
  • Jarate (Crit range on soaked enemies increases by 1)
  • Kukri (d10)
Calm, collected, professional. Lives in a van and pisses in jars.


"He could me you! He could be me! He could even be [gunshot]"
  • Revolver (d8)
  • Knife (d6)
  • Disguise Kit
  • Sapper (Destroys mechanical device)
  • Invis Watch (1/day, remain invisible when standing still)
International man of mystery. Fucked your mother.


  1. Replies
    1. Added a couple additional things from K. Yani's suggestions.

  2. Brings back some very fond memories!

  3. Minor quibble, but the scout's weapons should be d6 for the pistol and bat since the damage dice are stepped down because Explorer. Otherwise this is really neat and shows off well what EE can do!