Monday, July 27, 2026

A Comprehensive Annotated Timeline of the SCP Wiki's Ongoing Crash

CW: this post entails an excruciatingly-detailed breakdown of the SCP wiki’s systematic and years-long mishandling of a high-profile sex abuse case. It entails harms perpetrated against real people, many of them children, and there is neither closure nor justice at the end. I cannot stress enough that if you have enough shit on your plate, or don't want to deal with this today, or just don't want to know the dirt from a community you have no connections to, do not read further.

For my usual readers, you have my apologies. Regular content will resume posthaste.

If this has broken containment like I suspect and dread that it will, hello: feel free to peruse the backlog while you’re here.

Part 0: Preface

To my knowledge, a comprehensive overview of the Bright case and its surrounding context doesn’t exist anywhere else online. With that being the case I felt a responsibility to write it, since I'm in a position to do so and memories are short on the internet. The wheel turns, a new crisis emerges, and cortisol compresses the past into a blurry smear; People forget, the anger dulls, the people in charge stay in charge, and even four years on there are people out there who don’t know about Bright, and people who know about Bright but not about the cascading failures surrounding Bright, and people who know about both but don’t know how they fit into the greater picture.

I’m writing it for myself, too, as a way to process what happened. To get a clearer picture of how a community and a project that has been a foundational ur-text for who I am as an artist set itself on fire and started eating itself. 

This is also where I say up-front that I am not an objective observer - I've presented the facts as accurately as I can with the information I have available, but I ultimately have a significant emotional horse in the race so those facts will be presented with some editorializing and more personal asides.

I shouldn’t have to say “don’t use this post as your excuse to harass people”, but don’t use this as your excuse to harass people. You should be angry after reading this, but being angry for the right reasons doesn’t mean you get to be stupid about it. This quagmire is already bad enough.

[Of course, I'm playing the hypocrite here because this post is nigh-guaranteed to make the quagmire worse simply for existing.] 

If you have any additions or corrections, please leave them in the comments. I will be watching them like a hawk, in any case.

**


An important note: This case has not been taken to court, and as such all claims regarding Bright’s behavior remain allegations in the eyes of the law. While the evidence given to the Anti-Harassment Team remains blackboxed to protect the privacy of the victims, the publicly-available information has provided no evidence to contradict those allegations and given me no reason to doubt their veracity.

**


Since this is all going extremely Inside Baseball, here’s a list of terms and names I’m going to be using throughout.

  • Bright = Former administrator of the SCP wiki. Also known as theduckman.
  • Character!Bright = The character of Dr. Jack Bright
  • 963 = SCP-963, Bright’s most popular article; a ruby pendant bound to Character!Bright that grants him immortality through body-hopping possession.
  • The List = The List of Things Dr. Bright is Not Allowed to Do at the Foundation, a Pvt. Skippy / Mr. Welch style gag article. Originally authored by Bright and then expanded by many additional contributors.
  • Mainsite = The SCP wiki proper; called O4 in the context of mirroring discussion threads between the staff and member forums.
  • Offsite = Generalized / collective reference for the SCP fandom outside of the wiki and its official Discord / IRC servers (reddit, tumblr, youtube, etc).
  • O5 / O5command = A side wiki that hosts the staff forum; contains policy discussion threads, voting, and disciplinary records.
  • Sandbox = A side wiki used to draft articles, test formatting, etc.
  • AHT = Anti-Harassment Team
  • Delisting = Wherein an article is removed from public access and the site search function but not fully deleted.
  • BWP = The Bright Works Project; the official staff response to deal with Bright’s body of work. Active since April of 2025.

Let’s get this done so I can worry about one less thing in my life.

Part 1: The Context

Former administrator Bright was banned from the SCP wiki in May of 2022 after an “omnibus report” of alleged serial sexual misconduct; the exact details were not released to the public for privacy reasons, but the picture that’s been put together since the initial ban is:

  • The abuse had been ongoing for years and encompassed a large number of victims, many of whom were minors at the time and had been specifically targeted as such.
  • Bright had used their seniority on staff to cover up their abuse, most egregiously through five years (JAN-2014 to JAN-2019) as one of the administrative contacts for the Anti-Harassment Team.
  • Bright had used their widespread personal popularity as a means to groom their victims through parasocial relationships. 
  • Character!Bright's inextricable link to SCP-963 and its body-hopping immortality was directly used as a vehicle to inflict Bright the author's possession fetish on others through fiction, roleplay, and cosplay.
  • Bright’s body of work contained a significant amount of content that minimized / normalized Bright’s behaviors through Character!Bright; The Bright Works Project itemized these in extensive detail (link, link), and tagged 21 out of 63 pages as “problematic”; so I’ll pass on doing so here beyond saying that Bright the author repeatedly portrayed character!Bright as both a pedophile and as an integral and unremovable part of the Foundation’s command structure who regularly abused his position of authority to further his own personal ends.

**


I directly interacted with Bright maybe 2-3 times during my time on the site; I thought they were an undeservedly popular and deeply unpleasant jackass with a cringy self-insert OC, a stable of bad-to-mid edgelord articles and an obnoxiously myopic view of what the site and setting could be. I foolishly brushed off all the things easily recognized as red flags in hindsight to be the shitty “jokes” and tryhard shock horror common to an older, awful era of the internet; I rolled my eyes, thought “god these articles are terrible, why the hell does anyone give a shit when X Y and Z are right there”, went on with my life, and now find myself among the thousands suckered into believing that Bright was just a hack. 

The nature of the site lent itself to reinforcing the illusion - a good many authors, myself included at one point, tried their hand at making a better version of character!Bright, because if you don’t like something, make a version that you do like. The version people like catch on and inform new descendants, and the old versions fade into the background. Bright the author rode that reputation laundering for over a decade, letting other authors’ versions of the character overshadow their own, and it’s still ongoing: I had to confront someone who decided to wear a Dr. Bright labcoat to a convention and tried to pull "separate art from artist” in March of this year

Brother did you actually read Bright's stories? Do you actually know what that art was in service of? Shut the fuck up.

**


The common (if unhelpful) question in these situations is “how did no one know?”; the unfortunate answer is that people knew. They might not have known the extent, but people knew Bright was a creep.

I can still remember, and Wayback Machine for January 2010 backs me up, a section in the guide for new users where Bright directly asks for nudes. This was on the same page, mind you, as a warning to not open any links from a different user who literally did nothing but sit in IRC and post links to the grossest porn he could find and was just allowed to do that for years before he was finally banned. 

People fucking knew. I knew Bright was a creep and I was at peak social obliviousness at the time. I can’t say who knew what and how much and when and I’m not going to speculate, but speaking purely for myself I’d be hard-pressed to think of a less-surprising revelation. 

Part 2: Timeline of Events

Pre-2020 

22-JUN-2007
Moto42 posts SCP-173 to /x/.
 
19-JAN-2008
First iteration of the wiki is made on EditThis, housing articles written on 4chan over the previous 6 months. Bright is already active in the community during this period.
 
25-JUL-2008
The SCP wikidot goes live; migration of material from EditThis begins
[The previous 3 dates are all pulled from the History of the Universe: Part 1 (link)]
19-OCT-2008
Bright joins Wikidot.(per their wikidot account)
 
02-NOV-2008
Bright posts SCP-963.
 
25-DEC-2008
Bright posts The List of Things Dr. Bright is Not Allowed to Do at the Foundation.
[The above dates were pulled from Bright's stats page on Scpper; I included them as separate entries to illustrate how this was right out of the gate.] 
13-FEB-2009
Bright becomes a moderator of the wiki. (link

07-JAN-2014
The wiki’s staff is re-organized into its current team-based structure; Bright is appointed as one of the Anti-Harassment Team's administrative contacts.

[I can’t find the thread announcing this to the public, and so I’m instead basing it on the page creation date of the AHT team hub (link)] 

 

2020

02-May-2020
Staffer Eskobar and user GabrielJade are permanently banned by AHT. (link)

[The AHT announcement post says only “unacceptable behavior”, and I can’t find any other hard sources. I don’t know how or where the details ended up getting shared around, but by the time the info reached the bizarrely-thorough yet wholly-unsourced TVTropes page for SCP-specific role-ending misdemeanor (link) it’s an uncited claim that they sexually harassed a minor in 2018. This does align anecdotally with what I knew of the case prior to writing this post, and what my few remaining direct contacts with the site also know, but neither I nor they can find a hard source for how this information got into our heads. The closest thing I get is a later thread (25-SEP-2021) linking to the above AHT post when talking about sexual harassment.]

03-MAY-2020 
Bright announces their retirement from staff and departure from the wiki, citing declining interest and real-life factors. (link

They make only 3 posts of no particular note on the wiki after this announcement, the last one on 15-MAY-2021.

[No evidence exists linking Bright’s departure with the Eskobar/GabrielJade bans, or any direct connection or collusion between the abusers in question: I think it’s a reasonable assumption that the bans either spurred Bright’s departure or accelerated pre-existing plans to leave, but this is purely my own speculation based on circumstantial evidence.]

05-MAY-2020
In response to the Eskobar / GabrielJade abuses, staff increase the minimum user age of the wiki to 18; IRC, the discord server, and staff itself are not included for reasons I was not able to find. (link)

 

2021

02-AUG-2021
Bright receives a six-month AHT ban for, quote “suggesting action against a user based off misinformation without properly fact-checking during a serious case, which resulted in erroneous judgement until corrected later” (link); this ban is delivered simultaneously with that of an AHT member named fieldstone, who was found to be “intentionally obfuscating facts of the cases in order to achieve an outcome they desired”.

25-SEP-2021
Dissenting staffers propose undoing the 18+ age requirement policy under the hideously tone-deaf name of “age unraising”; the proposal does not pass. (link)

 

2022


08-MAY-2022
Bright is permanently banned from the wiki by AHT after review of an “omnibus report” of sex abuse allegations. (link)

11-MAY-2022
Multiple Bright-penned entries on the List of Things Dr. Bright is Not Allowed to do at the Foundation are judged as directly related to Bright’s behavior and are deleted by admin fiat. (link)
 
22-AUG-2022
A second run of the 2021 “age unraising” proposal is made (link); it is voted down by a wide margin on 25-SEP-2022. (link)

27-OCT-2022
The Bright-penned tale Diary 573 is deleted by admin fiat due to containing CSA content. (link)

2023


19-FEB-2023
Moderator Siddhartha Alonne announces their retirement from staff as well as their unilateral and unauthorized deletion of the List (link). They are subsequently permabanned for abuse of staff powers. (link

Staff reinstate the List three hours after its deletion and put it into protected status, preventing any votes or comments from being made on it. (link)

[To my knowledge, protected status has been deployed only one other time as a way to blockade offsite harassment brigades aimed at the orbital superweapon that is also a trans homestuck fan.]

21-FEB-2023
Staff member torcsandantlers starts a general discussion thread collecting userbase and staff feedback on what should be done with the List. The thread presents a general list of potential solutions and concerns, and presents the latter as a series of questions for the general membership. (link)

02-MAR-2023
Second discussion thread regarding potential Bright List solutions. A series of specific proposals are detailed with the potential pros and cons of each. (link)

08-MAR-2023
Brief discussion thread regarding the mechanics of the List referendum. (link)

15-MAR-2023
Bright List referendum voting begins. (link)

22-MAR-2023
Referendum voting concludes with staff and user supermajority in favor of immediate deletion of the List and simple majority in favor of replacement with an explanatory splash page. The List is deleted and a placeholder splash page is added in its place.

17-APR-2023
Brief discussion on finalizing the Bright List Deletion Message (link). A staff vote on the matter occurs from 01-MAY-2023 to 10-MAY-2023; its finalized version may be read here (link).


2024

No official threads are made regarding Bright or their work during 2024.

A private project led by staff member FlyPurgatorio was ongoing during this period, though public admission of this did not occur until January 2026.



2025

07-JAN-2025
Staff member Naepic starts a discussion thread in an attempt to spur some sort of action regarding deletion of Bright’s articles (link). The situation quickly escalates; as the thread contains no concrete proposals and many users view the thread as admitting that not only is there no plan, staff hasn’t even decided if there’s going to be a plan.

11-FEB-2025
Staff member FlyPurgatorio is demoted from staff for continued antagonism towards other staffers and leaves the site; his project is abandoned with all progress lost. This information does not come to light until the Bright Works Project Q&A in January 2026 (link).

22-APR-2025
The official Bright Works Project begins, headed by administrator Queerious. (link)

An 8-phase outline of staff action is provided, quote:

  1. Assess Current Proposal Drafts
  2. Assess All Bright Works for Content
  3. Ideate Solutions Collaboratively
  4. Refine Given Solutions
  5. Write/Draft Proposed Solutions
  6. Draft Proposal/Discussion Post
  7. Voting
  8. Implementation


Responses in the thread are mixed between those thankful that there’s progress being made and communicated, and those exasperated by the fact that the provided plan is to make a plan to make another plan that will be fulfilled at an unspecified point in the future.

A BWP sandbox was made on 05 Command (link); despite containing vital information regarding the project’s status and WIP proposals, it is linked only once in the main 04 thread.

28-APR-2025: BWP Interim Update 1
Project reaches Stage 2.2, and is analyzing backlinks (ie, pages that link to a given page) for Bright’s body of work.

05-MAY-2025: BWP Update 1
Stages 1 & 2 are completed, tallying 63 pages authored by Bright with 255 backlinks among them. Stage 3 begins.

19-MAY-2025: BWP Update 2
Stage 3 is ongoing with preparation for Stage 4. A link to the BWP sandbox is provided; this is the only update that will do so, and the only one to directly mention the page at all.

02-JUN-2025: BWP Update 3
Stage 3 completed, Stage 4 (refine given solutions) begins. No further information of note.

16-JUN-2025: BWP Update 4
Stage 4 continues. No further information of note.

30-JUN-2025: BWP Update 5
Stage 4 continues. No further information of note

14-JUL-2025: BWP Update 6
Stage 4 continues. Cut-off point for new proposals; no details or names are provided for proposals under consideration.

29-JUL-2025: BWP Update 7
Stage 4 continues. “75% of the plans have been filled out”. No further information of note.

12-AUG-2025: BWP Update 8
Stage 4 completed; all proposals are outlined; no outlines are shared in the thread. Stage 5 (drafting proposals) begins.

25-AUG-2025: BWP Update 9
Stage 5 proposal drafting continues. No further information of note.

08-SEP-2025: BWP Update 10
Stage 5 proposal drafting continues. A new proposal is brought before staff for discussion, with plans to add it to the main list. No explanation of this proposal or what it would entail is provided. A 22-SEP update is promised but does not occur.

14-OCT-2025: BWP Interim Update 2

Harryblank posting on behalf of Queerious states that work on the BWP has hit a temporary standstill due to the 9000 contest and other staff duties pulling staff attention away from the project. No further information of note.

27-OCT-2025: BWP Update 11
No information of note. A 10-NOV update is promised but does not occur.

24-NOV-2025: BWP Interim Update 3

Announcement of holiday hiatus; no further information of note.

 

2026

26-JAN-2026: BWP Update 12
BWP reaches stage 5.2; four proposals have finished first drafts, and a fifth in-progress proposal has been added. These proposals are neither named nor explained in the thread.

26-JAN-2026
2h 50m after Queerious makes BWS Update 12, user ubergoober posts a thorough dissection of the selected proposals (link); they judge all but the last wholly deficient and accuse staff of ignoring, dismissing, and talking over victims who had been expressing dissatisfaction with the process and its slow progress. This proves to be the community’s breaking point, and tensions boil over into a full community riot. Angry users flood both the thread and discord server in vocal support of ubergoober and demanding immediate answers and action from staff.

The 4 proposals selected for final deliberation were:

  • Adapted Deletions Threshold - All Bright-authored pages are mirrored so that the copies have reset vote counts; deletion would then proceed according to normal site policy.
  • Minimal Staff Intervention - The 21 Bright-authored pages deemed Harmful in Stage 3, as well as any additions during discussion, will be delisted and set as redirects to an explanatory splash page; the rest of Bright’s corpus is left intact.
  • Single Source of Truth - Adding a disclaimer to all Bright-authored works and moving the text into a collapsible on the page.
  • Near Total Deletion - Bright’s most famous articles are delisted and given redirects, while the rest of the corpus is deleted.

This is the first time any of the proposals have been referenced by name in the BWP thread since it started nine months prior; I think it’s fair to assume that this is the first time a lot of people learned any details about any of the proposals, which can’t have helped the already-enormous PR issue.

26-JAN-2026
The site’s master admin DrEverettMann posts a thread titled “Treatment of Staff” (link), attempting to defuse the riot. It receives three initial responses that evening, all of which point out that Mann seems to conflate angry users’ criticisms of staff with harassment; Mann does not respond.

27-JAN-2026
Staff opens up a Q&A thread to address the ongoing riot, with a dedicated team of seven staffers fielding questions and running damage control (link). Information revealed in the thread (non-exhaustively) includes:

  • Custom CS code was applied to the entire wiki (and later to O5command) to render Bright’s username as “theduckman” instead of “AdminBright”; this extended to licenseboxes.
  • The case will not be escalated to law enforcement (on grounds that multiple victims had voiced their opposition to escalation, considering it likely to cause further harm)
  • References to Character!Bright were removed from the O5 Command Dossier page, bringing it in line with the Personnel and Character Dossier.
  • The highly-unpopular / nonviable BWP proposals were included so as to exhaust all potential options.
  • The BWP sandbox was intentionally not included in the updates in an attempt to avoid potential misunderstandings caused by an in-progress document.
  • Queerious was the only staff member consistently working on the BWP; all other assistance was provided on an as-available basis, rather than any individual or team being officially assigned to the project. 
    • Administrator HarryBlank provides a more detailed explanation in the main discussion thread (link)
  • There will be a follow-up investigation / post mortem report on both the failures of the BWP in general and staff conduct (directly naming admins Queerious and Kufat) that exacerbated the situation.
  • At the time of Bright’s ban, AHT lacked the authority to remove pages except in cases of direct harassment (doxxing, etc): all articles removed after appeals to AHT were removed because AHT appealed to other mechanisms of administrative fiat to delete the article instead. 
    • Staff did not fiat delete The Self Insert at the same time as Diary 573 because it (quote Mann) “doesn't have or suggest harm to minors”.
      • No explanation is given as to why an alternate route to fiat deletion wasn’t taken, save that the story (quote BAD_DATA) “fell off the radar”.
      • No explanation is given for why Mann's assessment of the story diverges so significantly from both the BWP analysis and public opinion. (see sidebar below)
  • The Internet Outreach team did not, as of 01-FEB, have a statement prepared regarding the BWP (as a proposal had not yet been selected at that time)
  • Staff’s decision to forgo immediate fiat deletion was intended to avoid a repeat of the harassment of victims that occurred in the wake of Siddharta’s deletion of the List.
    • I find this reasoning about as watertight as a colander, considering that the discussion threads make it clear that staff held conversations with victims in publicly accessible discord channels.
    • Not to mention how dragging the BWP out into a years-long 5-ring circus exposes more people over a longer period of time because the names of victims are given time to disseminate to the public.
    • I would really like to know how keeping the work of a serial pedophile in positions of prominence without so much as a disclaimer for years protects victims.
  • The Portuguese branch wiki, as of 6-FEB, had already deleted all translations of Bright’s work - no other international branches had confirmed their responses at that time.
  • The character tag for Dr. Bright was removed.

**

[Since it comes up again, I’ve summarized The Self Insert here. It's a useful example of what's meant by "problematic", and a reminder that this and 20 similarly problematic pieces were kept up for 4 years after the allegations surfaced

The Self Insert was a story where Bright wrote a fictionalized version of their real-life self as a habitual user of SCP-1004 (“Factory Porn”), a cd-rom that can generate infinite pornographic videos. The only subjects directly mentioned in the article itself are scat, gore, bestiality, and pedophilia, and the “twist” is that users are inevitably drawn to this material despite there being no anomalous mental compulsion. The story ends with two Foundation staff commenting on how much Bright’s fictionalized self is masturbating to 1004, presented in such a way that the clear intent is to pass it off as humorous in a sort of “get a load of this shmuck” sort of way.]

**


28-JAN-2026: 
Administrator Kufat presents an outline of his “Root and Branch” proposal, which entailed immediate deletion of all of Bright’s works and mandated removal or replacement of Bright’s creations in derivative works. While the response is positive in the thread, it is judged to be an overreach of authorial autonomy (specifically with regards to the many works that implement a version of the Factory group-of-interest that resemble Bright’s initial version in name only) and is abandoned by the next day. (link)

31-JAN-2026
User Djoric deletes his primary canon, followed by his account, in protest of staff’s handling of the BWP. In a message left on his author page (link), he directly cites staff’s delay in deleting The Self Insert as a major factor in his decision. (This aligns with his posts in the Q&A thread from the days prior.) Judging by a couple comments from other users, the deletion of several stories popular outside the wiki triggered several angry offsite readers entering the discord and harassing users, victims, and staff.

02-FEB-2026
Administrator Pedagon receives official disciplinary action for inflammatory remarks made in the main discord server on 26-JAN; they are given a two-month censure of admin powers with no demotion and a forced recusal from any future BWP discussions or votes. (link

02-FEB-2026
Discussion and voting thread to select a proposal for the BWP (link): the four from Update 12 are now accompanied with Remove and Counter (the most prominent of Bright’s works will either remain with annotations contextualizing the harm caused, or be replaced with similar statements written in conjunction with victims; all other pages would be deleted)

Additionally, staff vote to blank (though not delist or delete) all remaining Bright pages as a temporary stopgap while the BWP are voted on and finalized proposals (link). The text of all affected pages is replaced with a brief explanatory notice.

17-FEB-2026
Staff voting period on BWP proposals ends with 45 of 54 votes in support of Remove and Counter. (link

17-FEB-2026
General discussion thread on the details of Remove and Counter (link). It is immediately beset by further angry comments from users: while it does finally present specific steps towards completion of the BWP, these steps are still not finalized, no timeline is presented, and there’s widespread discontent on the subject of potential response pieces or annotated versions.

18-FEB-2026
Administrator HarryBlank has an extended public incident in the Remove and Counter Specifics thread (link), attacking user Fish^12 over their negative comments regarding the BWP and the ongoing Remove and Counter discussion.

18-FEB-2026
After a full 24 hours of angry user response, all 52 remaining non-collaborative Bright-authored pages are blanked and delisted by admin fiat. (link)

[It has been 1382 days since Bright was banned from the SCP wiki. This action could have taken place at any point earlier in the process.]

20-FEB-2026
Official disciplinary thread for HarryBlank regarding the 18-FEB incident (link). Discussion ends on 13-MAR-2026 with a four-month censure of admin powers and no demotion.

03-MAR-2026
The Bright Works Message (link) is posted in provisional form. It is an automatic redirect for the urls previously belonging to SCP-001-O5, SCP-321, SCP-590, SCP-963, SCP-1004, An Evening with Bright, Code Brown, The Self Insert, and Dr. Bright’s Personnel File.

As of 22-JUL-2026, the page remains unfinished, and has not been edited since 18-APR-2026. A Q&A post from 02-APR (link) states that the Bright List Deletion Message is slated to be retired and replaced with a redirect to this page; this has also not happened.

30-MAR-2026
Queerious resigns from staff and leaves the wiki due to harassment received over the course of the BWP. (link

3-APR-2026
AHT announces a change in policy (link), granting the team the ability to share selected evidence with the public; this change is accompanied by AHT bans for users Intercedent (link), PoufyPouferson (link), ubergoober (link), and VARWith(link) on a variety of charges, with special focus given to the banned persons accusing Queerious and other staff members of supporting or protecting Bright - specifically, the banned individuals are charged with pedojacketing (a term that, I am learning now, is used to refer to spurious accusations of sexual misconduct made against queer and often transfeminine persons). 

All four banned individuals were outspoken critics of staff’s handling of the crisis, being two prominent authors, the voice that started the riot, and a victim of Bright. None of the discord screenshots presented as evidence include direct accusations towards Queerious or mention her by name. All of them were taken from the night of 26-JAN, and are in line with things people would say in anger during a highly charged situation. Comments of similar intensity from other users (who were not permanently banned for those statements) may be found throughout the comment threads both before and after the riot.

Only two of the four bans above (Intercedent and poufypouferson) have attached screenshot evidence. None of the seven AHT bans logged between 03-APR and time of writing (17-JUL) have had screenshot evidence included, despite the new policy.

**

[This part of the narrative makes me absolutely furious.

[The included screenshots don’t mention Queerious at all, and Queerious never said anything remotely close to a defense of Bright or their work; the actions of other staff - most pointedly DrEverettMann (the master admin of the site, current captain of AHT, and a member of the wiki since May 2009) - feel like they're going out of their way to make themselves look guilty of something. Even with Hanlon's Razor sharpened and the most charitable read deployed (I'm still presuming that the actions of staff are the result of incompetence over malice), we’re still left with:

  • Mann didn’t appoint anyone to help Queerious at any point in the nine months before the riot, leaving her to deal with an angry mob alone.
  • Mann could have enacted an administrative fiat to blank and delist any or all of the more egregious Bright works at any point in this process, and didn’t do so even when the opportunity was available.
  • Mann is on record downplaying the content of a particularly egregious Bright work (contrary to the BWP assessment) on a technicality that doesn't hold water, and used that as an excuse for past and present inaction. 
  • Mann signed off on the AHT bans of 4 prominent BWP critics where the evidence doesn’t match the accusation, over transgressions that aren't being held against other users, and rubber-stamped a policy change that has only been used against those individuals.

Is it any wonder that people say that it feels like staff are supporting / protecting Bright? The optics on this are nightmarish. I'm sympathetic to the plight of untrained volunteers getting thrown into the deep end of a disaster, but when things reach a point where one of the best arguments for innocence is "no one actually guilty of something would drag out a cover-up for this long", that sympathy is well past its boiling point. 

No fucking wonder Bright got away with it for so long.]

**


25-APR-2026
A second BWP update thread opens, now overseen by staff member Sinking_Otter (link

29-MAR-2026: BWP Update 13

This update was ported over from the previous thread. 

The URLs of the 8 remaining pages now redirect to the new Bright Note. Stage 8 of the BWP is split into multiple substages, which now includes future development of annotations and response pieces. The post-mortem is being planned. The process of investigating and removing Bright’s edits to 193 articles by other authors is underway (this is technically Stage 8.2, but is hereon called Ring 2)

12-APR-2026: BWP Update 14
Ring 2 continues. Post-mortem planning continues, with no concrete information provided.

25-APR-2026: BWP Update 15
Ring 2 continues: of 193 works Bright contributed to but did not author, 140 cases have been resolved. Additionally, two admin fiats are enacted: 

  • Fiat 1 allows banned users to request references to Bright in their works be removed and replaced, with the specific edits decided by staff.
  • Fiat 2 allows staff to remove and replace material Bright contributed to pages made by authors who are no longer active on the site and are unable to be contacted. These changes may be altered by the authors in question if they return and wish to do so.

Post-mortem planning continues, with no concrete information provided.

09-MAY-2025: BWP Update 16
Ring 2 sits at 140/193 complete, 13 waiting final review, and 40 in-progress. Staff have begun reaching out to inactive authors for approval to remove references to character!Bright, as laid out in the previous update. Post-mortem planning continues, and now is confirmed to include a community survey regarding the BWP.

12-MAY-2026
Staffer wackdog starts a thread proposing a significant overhaul to the site’s deletion threshold that, in an attempt to slow down the rate of mainlist expansion, would lead to positively-rated articles getting deleted. (link) One of the potential executions of this proposal would apply the new criteria retroactively, leading to the deletion of hundreds of successful articles whose authors might not be around to respond.

This proposal is wildly unpopular with the userbase, who generally consider it a solution to a problem that doesn't exist (running out of slots), ineffective at addressing the problems that do exist (contest fatigue and discoverability issues), and would greatly favor established authors while disincentivizing new ones and further exacerbating the existing cut-throat popularity hustle of the site.

It is rendered a moot point two days later on 14-MAY, when staffer DrBleep proposes the creation of the Lost Series, a themed article collection existing in parallel with the mainlist (link).

[While unrelated to Bright, I include this proposal here to emphasize that the tone-deafness and staff disconnect that led to all the trouble with the BWP were neither limited to the BWP nor ameliorated by the post-riot reforms.]

23-MAY-2026: BWP Update 17
Ring 2 reaches 161/193 edits cleared. An explanation of how Ring 2 replacements are being carried out is provided: rather than doing a blanket 1:1 replacement for character!Bright, Ring 2 edits are done on a case-by-case basis and may be fulfilled with pre-existing characters from other sources or newly-made characters.

The grace period for the Inactive Authors Fiat has elapsed, and now Ring 2 works whose authors could not be contacted may be edited by staff.

06-JUN-2026: BWP Update 18
Ring 2 has fewer than 30 edits remaining; preparation for Ring 3 (works referencing or associated with character!Bright or Bright’s works that were not written by Bright) is underway. Finally, SCP-5500 is deleted under the Banned Authors Fiat after the original author (Ihp) reached out to staff.

10-JUN-2026
User Greenwolf receives a monthlong AHT ban for intimidation and explicit attempts to get another user banned from the wiki. This ban is extended to permanent on 17-JUN after investigation of further complaints that he had been deliberately intimidating users to report the Bright case to authorities. No screenshots are provided, with the provided reason being that they were inflammatory enough to post risk of further harm. (link)

21-JUN-2026: BWP Update 19
A long and fairly complex rundown of how Ring 2 edits will be made in circumstances where a work has multiple overlapping contributors. The initial survey of Ring 3 works has tagged 461 works for review.

04-JUL-2026: BWP Update 20
Staff vote passes the proposed Ring 2 expansions from the previous update. Ring 3 progress continues, with messages sent out to authors with works tagged for review.

05-JUL-2026
Staffer wackdog starts a thread proposing the creation of a dedicated PR team to review staff communications with the userbase (link); public response is predominantly negative, with many commenters viewing this as an extra layer of bureaucracy that would further distance staff from the community at large.

As of time of writing, it does not appear that this proposal has been abandoned or carried out.

18-JUL-2026
Ring 2 has “only a handful of articles” left - no explanation as to why hard numbers have been abandoned in the updates. Ring 3 continues, though many authors have not responded to the initial messages.

Post-mortem planning, we are assured, continues. No further concrete information provided.

**


This brings us up to the present. I may or may not update this timeline as new information becomes available. As it stands, the only major components remaining are the postmortem thread and any response pieces that will be written. I have my doubts that either of them will see the light of day any time soon, if at all.


Part 3: So What Now?

I don’t know. I can barely look at the thing without getting a bit queasy. My partner, blessedly removed from this quagmire and caring not a whiff for the wiki, told me that it all sounded like a toxic ex. She’s got me dead to rights on that one. I loved the place. I still love the place, even though it makes me miserable to do so and hindsight tells me plain that it wasn’t good for me. Every chance the ball could have been dropped, it was dropped. Every opportunity to right the boat was passed over. Every chance to defuse the disaster shoveled more coal on the fire. 

I don’t know. Maybe this is what it feels like to have grown up in Pripyat.

Regardless of the progress made since the riot, I think the damage is done. The people in charge of this disaster remain in charge, trust in staff is at an all-time low, tone-deaf and divisive policy proposals keep happening, staff get preferential treatment and minimal consequences for disciplinary incidents. I don't think there’s any fixing it without a total leadership turnover.

[And that’s to say nothing of Wikidot as a platform having gone fully absentee landlord and starting to break down - the wiki had to port in a discord bot just to keep the search functional. A migration project is apparently still in progress, but it's also been in progress since ~2012 with nothing to show for it.]

Even with all that, I can’t evict it from my thoughts. It’s a miraculous creative enterprise: everything on that site is freely available not just to read, but to make one's own. It will persist past the collapse of the site and fragmentation of the community, with both options looking more and more likely. There’s a part of me that wants to see that happen, to see the work of thousands of artists across two decades freed from the shadow of the community’s failures.

Maybe some day.

[E: now that the post is up and done and the weight is off my shoulders, I'm a lot more clear-headed about this last part. Even with the residual fondness I might have for the wiki, putting this together killed the remaining sentimental attachment stone dead. Why the fuck would I want to remain chained to this?]

** 

The Bright List Deletion Message ends with the following statement, written 1016 days prior to the removal of Bright’s works:

“We don't ask here for any forgiveness; we've let you down, and it's up to us to earn back trust. A community needs not forgive its governing body, just to hold it accountable. We're all trying to do better - individually and as a whole. Please hold us to this.” 
That ship sailed and sank a long time ago. If putting this post together has proven anything, it's that trying to hold SCP wiki staff accountable doesn't do a god-damn thing.
 

Saturday, July 18, 2026

Remaking Lord of the Rings out of Only Public Domain Sources: Part 3

Ilya Repin

Part 1, Part 2

Home stretch, let’s go.

The Balrog

How did I skip the Balrog? Absolutely shameful.

Anyway:  dig too deep and you’ll find a guardian of the underworld, so I’ll roll with Ox-Head and or Horse-Face from Chinese folk religion because honestly if there’s a giant horse-headed monster wrecking your day who looks like this, yeah I’m going freak the fuck out a bit.

  • Q: Who was fucking around with the underworld enough to bring these guys to earth?
  • Q: Is anything going screwy in the underworld now that they’re busy here?



Shelob

A jorōgumo, which both gives me a giant monster spider and allows me to take a shot at Shadow of Mordor’s drearily uncreative sexy lady Shelob (since jorōgumos have the shapeshifting into a lady feature built in.)

Pseudo-Shelob will in turn be the rebellious bad-apple daughter of Spider Grandmother, who will be replacing Ungoliant; this marks a total inversion from the source text, since Spider Grandmother is a positive figure in the lore of indigenous peoples across the southwest and beyond. More on that in a bit.


Wormtongue

Well he’s gotta be some kind of evil vizier, a trope which has existed as long as there have been viziers. Or court eunuchs, for that matter. But the trope is also like one of the standard-issue Orientalist tropes so if he’s going to be attached to Themiskyra or Iram of the Pillars or what have you he should be sourced  from a story on the right side of the Bosphorus.

I’m going with one of the OGs, Haman from the Book of Esther. Who, now that I think about it for more than 10 seconds, is actually a perfect fit for multiple reasons:

  • Book of Esther is set during the height of the Achaemenid Empire, and if we presume that Ahasuerus is supposed to be Xerxes I (as most people do) much of the central government has moved out of Babylon but the city and territory is well within the empire (easy connection to the Tower of Babel)
  • Makes total sense for not-Persia to send a diplomatic envoy to the Amazons, being both neighbors and culturally-close (easy reason why he’s in Themiskrya).
  • If Queen Hippolyta has been kidnapped by Theseus and her sisters are acting as regents, that’s a perfect opportunity for a scheming vizier to scheme a major power play.
  • Rather than following the Book of Esther’s plot directly, I can just extrapolate it into “Haman is more than willing to inflame existing ethnic and religious tensions for his own benefit” (good justification for his antagonism)
  • If Bradamante is going to ride Rakhsh, that means Rostam is dead (potentially fairly recently)...

…which means that fantasy!Persia (where Haman would be from) is also likely in a state of political disorder (not aided by Alexander the Great running his operation out of the Tower)...

…because if Rostam is dead it means that Siyâvash (son of the shah Kay Kāvus, who has an eagle-powered flying throne he used to fly to China) is also dead… 

…and if Siyâvash is dead then it means his wife Farangis has fled the country with their son Kay Khosrow…

…which means that we have either an elderly ruler with no heir apparent or a recently dead ruler with a very young heir and that is a textbook scenario for a regency.

Which is a long way of saying that Gondor is fantasy Persia.

  • Q: How does a weakened Themiskrya benefit Haman? What’s his end goal?
  • Q: Who supports him back in the Empire? Who supports him here?
  • Q: What stops people from just killing him?
  • Q: What existing tensions is he going to take advantage of?
  • Addition: Mission to rescue Hippolyta
  • Addition: Theseus and his incredibly underwhelming and stupid death (some jobber named Lycomedes throws him off a cliff)


Denethor

Surprisingly a lot more difficult than Haman for Wormtongue; I can’t find a regent in the Shahnameh (in my defense, there are a lot of characters in the Shahnameh and I’m flying by the seat of my pants), Googling “regents in folklore and mythology” got me nothing but pages about revenants and ents, and the relevant TVtropes pages are in similarly dire condition.

From Arthuriana there’s King Lot, who I could syncretize with Biblical Lot, and I could even have Farangis fill the role if I need to, but this might be the first case of the knock-on effects from the changes rendering it unnecessary to port over a Tolkien character.

If we already have an old king, a missing heir, and a scheming vizier, what point does pseudo-Denethor have? He wouldn’t be Sigurd’s father, so that’s out, and pseudo-Faramir is going to be the same deal. 

So yeah, I think this is going to be a solid Not Applicable.

Faramir

He lives in the woods with a bunch of outlaws, wears green and has a bow: he’s Robin Hood. Non-zero chance Tolkien intended the connection anyway. 

With Denethor out of the picture and Boromir-Sigurd having no narrative room for siblings, what remains is the guerilla war against Alexander’s forces minus the direct connection to Persia-Gondor. I could maintain his relationship with Bradamante and make him Ruggiero and call it a day, but that feels a bit too pat.

Going further afield for a more radical change, I’ve entertained the thought that Faramir could serve as a representative / leader of some sort of alliance among indigenous peoples of Middle Earth in their fight against Alexander. Tolkien frustratingly doesn’t entirely overlook this front of the war, but reduces the Druedain to isolationists who aid the Rohirrim in one key operation but are otherwise wholly absent from the narrative.  

The premise of the project being what it is, most sources will get me boilerplate noble savage at best. It’s possible to write those characters with more nuance, but even then there won’t be a lot of grist for the mill.

But…  roll with me for a moment.

So I said a couple entries ago that Spider Grandmother / Spider Woman is taking the role of nega-Ungoliant. 

If Gondor = Persia, the climate where pseudo-Faramir would be operating would be a lot drier and hotter than Sherwood Forest: Grandmother Spider is associated primarily with the peoples of the American southwest, a region that is also a lot drier and hotter than Sherwood Forest.

In Navajo narratives, she goes by Na'ashjé'ii Asdzáá (Spider-Woman) and she directly aids the hero twins Naayééʼ Neizghání (Monster-Slayer) and Tóbájízhchíní  (Born-for -Water) in their fights against all sorts of giants and monsters.

Witch-King Alexander the Above-Average doubtlessly has a lot of giants and monsters on his payroll (metaphorical; they don’t get paid); if pseudo-Faramir is an outlaw leading a guerilla war against two much larger imperial powers all while killing the nastiest monsters around, not a big leap for people to call him Monster-Slayer. Especially if he has some sort of boon from Spider Woman. The line between mortal man and legendary hero can get mighty blurred, after a while.

  • Q: Is there going to be an equivalent to Prince John and the Sheriff of Nottingham?
  • Q: What are the odds he lives in Humbaba’s Woods?
  • Q: Wait hold up is Humbaba also one of these giants?
  • Addition: Anaye / Nayéé’ (aforementioned monstrous giants)
  • Addition: The Merry Men
  • Addition: Gifts from Spider Woman
  • Addition: Another outlaw leader filling the role of Born-for-Water?



Gandalf

Gandalf I am still sorta figuring out because I’ve got two options that could work both combined into a single character or as two separate but related characters, and I still haven’t decided which I like more. So here’s both.

Option A: Glinda the Good Witch
Meddlesome in favor of heroes, delivers quests, and - for a touch of meta appropriateness via Sir Ian McKellan - outrageously gay. The lady canonically lives in a palace with the 100 most beautiful women in Oz. 

Claims that she was based on Matilda Joslyn Gage don’t seem to have any substantial foundation, but Matilda Joslyn Gage was certainly about as close to “meddling witch on the side of good” as you can get in real life.

Source B: The Angel of Eden
The one with the fiery sword and all that. They don’t have a consistent name in any of the apocrypha; you’ll find some people saying Uriel, though I can’t find any textual source to back that up. I’d probably sub in a Sumerian name for the vibes (probably Uanna / Oannes).

Anyway: I’m fond of the idea that this particular angel has grown attached to humanity via proximity and acts as a sort of Prometheus figure in the Fall. Strong shades of Aziraphale there, but by a different route.

  • Q: What other forms have they taken?
  • Q: What’s their relationship with other angels?
  • Q: What’s their relationship with the other wizards?
  • Q: What’s their bigger game plan wrt the Seal & Nyarlathotep?
  • Q: Can I resist K6BD vibes? (No, I cannot)
  • Addition: Gigantic fiery sword


The Peoples of Middle-Earth

All right, got a lot to work through here.

Orcs are tharks, did them in Part 1. 

Uruk-hai are going to be soldiers grown from dragon’s teeth, which happens a few times in Greek myth via Jason and Cadmus. (Friend of the blog Dandibuja, who has been an immense help with this project, suggested that this could be tied into Archimago hunting dragons as a way to get into the good graces of society: I think that’s a killer idea.)

Goblins is goblins, but in the folkloric sense of just being every weird little magical guy possible. You can just call anything weird a goblin, them’s the rules. Between the Denham Tracts and the Gazu Hyakki Yagy, I’m spoiled for choice.

Ents and trolls are going to be played by a wide variety of ogres and giants. Plenty of ogres and giants from all over the world, people love asking “what if there were big people”. 

Dwarves are neanderthals, no muss no fuss. There’s overlap there with REH’s Picts but I’m going to lean heavier on reality than Hyboria for that one.

Humans (or to crib Dungeon Meshi parlance, tallmen) are are going to broadly reflect the major populations in prehistoric Europe and the Mediterranean (adjusted with a bit of anachronism for artistic flair) - Tolkien prepped the layup for me on this one because he was aware that there was a migration into Europe that displaced or absorbed the peoples already living there and kinda-sorta modeled it into the relationship between Rohan and the Woses / Druedain and between the Edain and the Easterlings. 

Since it’s very easy to get both far too into the weeds on this (archaeogenetics is extremely complex!) and also fairly easy to run into some issues (go too deep and you straight up just start sounding like Measurehead even if you’re being careful), I’m just going to strip the moral judgements and flesh out Tolkien’s general shape of things with modestly more historically appropriate material.

  • Druedain = Western Hunter Gatherers
  • Edain = Early European Farmers + Western Steppe Herders.
    • Those dang Indo-Europeans with their horses and wheeled carts, I tell ya.
  • Easterlings / Rhûnedain - Other Indo-European speaking peoples (Anatolians and Indo-Iranians)
  • Numenoreans = Atlanteans, which in this case means that the mi-go have been fucking around in their genome for Mi-Go Reasons™.
    • Honestly this excuse lets them pull triple duty as both Valyria and Melnibone if I want to go that route. 
  • Additions: Non-IE speaking groups

(If I was ever to actually do a project using Nostratic this would be the place to do it, but like many crank theories requires too much elbow grease to be feasible. Existing conlangs would be easier.)

Elves, continuing on the threads set out by my picks for Elrond and Galadriel, are going to be WHGs who got magic through contact with the Otherworld (Annwn, Tír na nÓg, etc). This sets them up nicely as a thematic counter to the Seal by giving their magic a source in reciprocal relationships with the spirits of the world and the world beyond. It also gives them more of a material reason to be isolated from the rest of humanity than just being ethereal and sad (i.e. they, as effectively the Tuatha Dé Danann, lost the war)

Hobbits are tricksy; there’s no shortage of little folk in folklore and early fantasy to choose from - “what if there were small people” is about as universal as “what if there were big people” - but the hobbits’ size is mostly thematic, a way to reflect them as distinct from capital-M Men visually as well as culturally, and to reinforce the idea that evil isn’t defeated with power. They’re not particularly magical and they’re protagonists rather than figures the protagonist encounters, which puts them at odds with the rest of the literature. Doubly so when we consider that hobbits are first and foremost idealized English villagers.

Those themes don’t require little people to function, and during brainstorming I found the little people options tended to cut off the stronger picks for the main quartet. So I going to go for a fairly radical move and split hobbits as a people from the main quartet of Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin.

For hobbits the people, I’m going to take a major swerve and go with Arthur Machen’s little people, asterisk.

Machen’s version is that the folkloric little people of the British Isles (same tradition that Tolkien was pulling from) were based on a population of relict hominids driven to the most remote wilderness and / or underground by the arrival of the Celts. This idea was enormously popular with both Lovecraft and REH, and through them the rest of weird fiction and onward.

It’s also just as gross and racist as you’d expect for the time period. Not satisfied with making his little people rapists and murderers, Machen presents their mere existence as abhorrent instead of one of the most important scientific and anthropological discoveries in history. Oh no they’re short and brown and use stone tools come the fuck on Arthur that’s just homo erectus (note: h. erectus was not discovered until after Machen wrote The Black Seal).

(Learning all this has really made me appreciate what Tolkien did with the Hobbits; the situation was dire wrt little people in fantasy fiction back then.)

(Early science fiction honestly kinda hates any field outside of material science. New alloys and rays and objects are good and cool, everything else is bad.)

I’m getting off track. Hobbits as a people are descendents of homo erectus (close to floriensis, obvs) who live out in the deep wilderness, but are no more horrible than anyone else. Honorable mentions go to the Pygmies of Paracelsus, Lilliputians from Gulliver, Munchkins from Oz, but those I would include as cultural groups.

The Hobbits

The hobbit quartet have a few key prerequisites I need to carry over to their analogues:  they’re young, they have no political / martial / magical power, they have no prior connections to major goings on in the world, and they come from farm country. Frodo is technically landed gentry but that’s simple enough to work around.

Merry and Pippin are easy: Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. That just leaves Frodo and Sam as the final replacements to make.

(Add a drumroll here if you’d like.)

Frodo and Sam are going to be played by Dorothy Gale and Princess Ozma. They’ve got the intimate friendship across a class divide thing down pat, and Glinda spearheads the quest to find Ozma in a display of good Gandalfian meddling. Being royalty of Oz does violate the “no political power” thing, but that can be worked around in a fair number of ways (Oz being a small backwater kingdom, Oz still being under the rule of the Wizard, Oz not operating according to real world political logic, etc)

(Actually now that I mention it, the Shire is split into four farthings, and Oz is split into four countries along the same lines…)

For purposes of the story, I imagine that the quartet would be older than in their source material and would have had at least the general shape of their adventures happen to them. Kansas probably doesn’t exist, but there’s certainly a place very much like Kansas out there. Probably the farmland upriver from Lud-in-the-Mist, since I decided that’s where Biblo’s from.

  • Q: Whose body got exhumed the night Tom and Huck went to the graveyard?
  • Q: Were the resurrectionists in question Dr. Frankenstein and Herbert West? (Yes)
  • Q: If Jim is included, how do I best handle everything else his inclusion entails? There are a couple novels from the time period I could pull from, but this would basically require a dedicated post. 
  • Addition: Assorted early-book Oz side characters (Lion, Scarecrow, Tin-Man, Wogglebug, General Jinjur, Mombi the Witch etc)

 

Final Roundup 

  • Frodo & Sam = Dorothy and Ozma (Oz series)
  • Merry & Pippin = Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
  • Gandalf = Glinda the Good Witch / Angel of Eden (Oz series, Book of Genesis)
  • Legolas = Zorro (The Curse of Capistrano et al.)
  • Gimli = Conan the Barbarian (The Phoenix on the Sword et al.) 
  • Boromir = Siegfried (Der Ring des Nibelungen)
  • Aragorn = Pwyll (The Mabinogion) 
  • Elrond = Arawn (The Mabinogion)
  • Arwen = Rhiannon (The Mabinogion)
  • Galadriel = The Venus of Willendorf (Real life) 
  • Gollum = Caliban (The Tempest
  • The Balrog = Ox-head and Horse-face (Chinese folk religion)
  • Shelob = Jorogumo (Japanese folklore)
  • ungoliant = Spider Grandmother (SW Indigenous American folklore) 
  • Saruman = Archimago (The Faerie Queene
  • Theoden = Hippolyta (Greek myth)
  • Eowyn =  Bradamante (Orlando Furioso, etc)
  • Wormtongue = Haman (Book of Esther) 
  • Shadowfax = Rakhsh (The Shahnameh
  • Treebeard = Humbaba (The Epic of Gilgamesh
  • Denethor = Not included
  • Faramir = Robin Hood + Monster-Slayer (British + Navajo folklore)  
  • Tom Bombadil = Elder Thing (At the Mountains of Madness)
  • The Council of the Wise = Many assorted magic-users 
  • Bilbo Baggins = Nathaniel Chanticleer (Lud-in-the-Mist
  • Middle Earth = Various composite sources
  • Humans = Assorted archaic populations (Real world)
  • Elves = Real-world archaic population + magic
  • Dwarves = Neanderthals (Real world)
  • Hobbits  = H. erectus descendants (Real world + a bit of Machen) 
  • Orcs = Tharks / Green Martians (A Princess of Mars + sequels)
  • Uruk-hai = dragon's-teeth soldiers (Greek myth)
  • Goblins = goblins (Various folklores)
  • Ents & Trolls = orges, giants, etc (Various folklores)
  • The One Ring = Seal of Solomon (Testament of Solomon, etc.)
  • Eru Illuvatar -MANA-YOOD-SUSHAI (The Gods of Pegana)
  • The Valar = The Zoa (The prophetic works of William Blake)
  • Mordor = The Land of Darkness (The Alexander Romance)
  • Barad-dûr = The Tower of Babel (Book of Genesis) 
  • The Nazgul = The 12 Paladins of Charlemagne (Orlando Furioso, etc)
  • The Witch-King = Alexander the Above-Average (The Alexander Romance)
  • Sauron = Nyarlathotep (Cthulhu Mythos, various)
  • Mount Doom = Mt. Elbrus (Real world + Zoroastrian mythology)
  • Numenor = Atlantis (The Lost Continent, etc)


**

And there we go. Experiment successful beyond my wildest predictions. 

My takeaways at the end are fairly similar to those I had in the beginning: this is the most fun I've had writing in recent memory. I kept surprising myself with how well features clicked into place with each other, without me intending to leave an opening. Rambling forward with no plan and just doing what seemed right in the moment turned into something with a stronger weave than expected, and perhaps stronger than if I had made them up on my own.

While I’m satisfied with this as an endpoint for the experiment (no outline for the story, at least not now), I really want to keep going and I probably will. There’s so much out there to play with, but few people do and more people should. I want to encourage as many folks as I can to do stuff like this. Pardon this box of soap, no idea how it got here…

We live in a world where less than a dozen companies control the overwhelming majority of media you encounter. If they had their way, there’d be even fewer companies and they’d control all of it. They benefit from making people think that stories are objects to be owned, that there’s only one way for them to be, that there is a canon to be clung to with all the dogmatic fervor of an early church father. Making a silly public domain mashup isn’t going to change that, but it’s going to be better for you as an artist and as an audience. It's self-care, a little moment of freedom where you can fly above the powers that want to own the thoughts of every synapse in your head.

You don’t have to go watch a version of the Odyssey subsidized by Morocco’s colonial engine in Western Sahara. You own the Odyssey as much as Christopher Nolan does. What makes his version special, that there’s money in it? You don’t need money to make a good version of the Odyssey. You don’t even need to write it down. 

Give yourself a little freedom today.

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Even More Short Reviews of Delta Green Actual Plays

 Part 1, Part 2

This will likely be the last one of these for a while: got thoroughly burnt out on the whole thing as I was drafting it, and I’ve stopped listening to all of these in the months since I started compiling the post. At some point I’ll probably resume one or two, but who knows: my podcast listening has taken a hit across the board thanks to changes at work eating up my attention for much of the year so far.

Black Flare

I find this one complicated to recommend: It’s well-put together, the Handler knows their stuff, and the idea of having players new to Delta Green as an RPG playing characters new to Delta Green the organization is appealing. I don’t think it works in practice, though: the opening opera is too open-ended and slow-paced for players new to this sort of investigation (especially when they have a tendency to treat the investigation like D&D characters grilling a shopkeeper) and that makes for bad radio in spite of the generally high quality of all the individual components.

The anomaly in season 1 was too vague and hands-off to be an interesting threat. There’s an episode that’s nearly entirely devoted to the tedium of muddling through some difficult-to-visualize spatial fuckery effects, which never gelled together as something spooky. 

 (I think the spookum was a lloighor, so my bias is on active and on the field already) 

There’s a really good interstitial episode (the cell meets their handler on a freighter ship in the aftermath of a battle with Deep Ones) but then the first five and a half episodes of Season 2 are a red herring with enough feet dragging that it felt more of “oh fucking finally” when we finally got to the real hazard instead of a satisfying build up to it. The action was great when things finally started popping off, but the path to get there was frustrating.

Another issue, which is very much down to personal preference even more than the last, is that I really don’t like how Hollis’ player runs the character; Hollis acts as a sort of continual obstruction to the others, vaguely dancing around questions and being purposefully unhelpful with a blunt “It’s need to know and you don’t need to know”. I can’t tell how intentionally frustrating they’re supposed to be - it’s not an unreasonable part to play in the story - but I think it compounds the bad radio problem by impeding the other PCs from being active investigators and pushing them towards passivity, which doesn’t play well with the already slow pace. 

Hand on the Door

Not as goofy as PTBP, but probably the closest to it tone-wise out of everything I’ve listened to, and I think it does a decent job of threading the needle. It’s absurd, but not so absurd that it negates its own stakes with that absurdity. That said, it does have a tendency to meander and it’s another slow burn investigation despite the threat being something that should have everyone freaking the fuck out. There’s no reason for the PCs to know that the guy they’re investigating is messing with shoggoth biomatter, but the characters knew by the time I stopped listening that the perp has figured out how to refold proteins through unnatural means and the players should probably be leaning into the entirely reasonable panic of “Jesus Christ someone could make a transmissible prion disease with this shit”.

Chaos Springs Eternal

Civilian PCs in a weird little Louisiana town stumbling into the supernatural. More CoC than DG, to the point where I wouldn’t really call it a DG actual play. 10-15 minutes of non-game talk at the beginning of each episode, which is too much for me to sit through without skipping but might not be for other folks. It’s a slow burn and I was with it for a while, but fell off when they got to the helpful magical ghoul character. I like a helpful magical ghoul character from time to time but this one felt too Call of Cthulhu for me, if that makes sense. Not enough of the DG razzle and / or dazzle.

This Line Isn’t Secure

A dedicated Impossible Landscapes run. Very much on the audio drama side of the spectrum, and very good at it. Players and handler work together like a well-oiled machine. Editing / effects / sound quality are extremely good, deft balance of horror vs humor and how the absurd surreality of Carcosa lends itself to both. I feel better about the character arcs than in something like Redacted Reports because we know how this ends, there's not going to be any tail end that stretches out past the climax. Definitely want to return to this one, and I give it a very high recommendation.

Delta Pink

Someone affiliated with the show left a comment on one of my older roundup posts asking if I might do a review: Unfortunately, it didn’t really pan out.

After listening to Session 0 and most of episode 1 I feel like Delta Pink, like Get in the Trunk, is goofy in a way that doesn’t really land for me. The group behind this AP typically plays Shadowrun, and that influence shows like the proverbial and thematically appropriate pink mohawk. They’re still playing Shadowrun characters here in Delta Green; goofy stereotypes unmoored from reality. Factor that as you will into whether or not you want to check it out.

Stories and Lies: God’s Teeth

It’s unfair to compare anyone running God’s Teeth to the original AP, but it’s also unavoidable. 

Go Forth opens like a hammer to the face. Here’s the mission; do it now. You’re immediately in the shit and on the back foot, scrambling for purchase when all your options are bad and you have no time and no resources. I think it’s the most powerful opener in RPGs by a country mile, with Deep Carbon Observatory coming in second.

So I feel like Stories and Lies is doing a disservice to the module by portraying Clove as stable and put-together and having the agent who read the folder beat around the bush during the briefing. The urgency that makes the opening work has been lost and at that point I don’t know why the module was chosen.

 

RPPR: The Labor of Dogs

The only one of these I am actively listening to at time of writing: this one's an all-timer. Not just the name (which is an all-timee in and of itself), but in just how good the component missions are - I think we're done with 3/5 at this point, and each one has been a very distinctly 2020s flavor of awful and weird. Like I would almost call it cringe horror? It's leaning into the ripped-from-the-headlines reality of "sorry, the villains here are evil and stupid and their vapidity is matched only by their temporal power and they will combine the two into lethal danger for everyone around them in an attempt to squeeze a bit of profit they don't need from a source they don't understand." That's the good shit. The real danger isn't Cthulhu, it's some C-suite trying to exploit Cthulhu in stupid ways.

Final Notes

Most of this post is just a simple divergence between what I want to listen to and what people want to make. So it goes, no harm no foul. My perspective is skewed six ways to Sunday on this matter so everything I’ve said so far should be taken with a sizable grain of salt. I don’t know. I feel kinda bad about being down on nearly all of them. Ah well. There will always be more, and maybe I'll come around to one or two when I'm in a better state for what they're offering.
 

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

The Arrangement

 

Nottsuo

Agent Delfino leaves the car at the end of the driveway, right in front of the rusted gate and its corroded “DANGER - NO TRESPASSING” sign. He steps out of the car, opens the trunk, and hoists the lifeless body of Agent Wallace over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

The overgrown gravel path is dimly lit by Delfino’s red-filtered flashlight. Twin rows of pine trees block out all but a thin strip black sky. It can’t take more than a minute, minute and a half, to reach the house. The adrenaline cedes ground to hazy, sluggish exhaustion.

It would have been a nice house, eighty years ago when the mill in town was still open and the GI Bill meant you could own a home on a single income. Economic entropy bears down on its shoulders with decades of repair jobs put off till money’s less tight; what’s left of the overgrown lawn fights a losing battle against encroaching undergrowth. There’s no porch light, no light at all from inside. All the windows are boarded up, blackout curtains drawn.

Delfino presses the doorbell button, hears nothing; he presses it again, and it fires off a harsh electric buzz.

He waits, idly sucking at his lip.

Dead bolt slides, chains rattle, door swings inward.

The pale woman standing there could be anywhere between 24 and 49. Long black hair, lank and unwashed, falls down to her waist. Dark circles highlighting grey eyes. Faded blue pajama pants, no socks, a Frazetta pastiche t-shirt where an eight-breasted, phallus-tailed monstrosity holds a uselessly branched sword towards the unreadable broken-stick-and-burn-scar name above its head.

“What.” It’s a command, not a question. Delfino swallows, and says what he was trained to say.

“Excuse me, ma’am, would you be able to spare a moment for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”

Asset FENNEC gives him a joyless smile of crooked, nicotine-yellow teeth.

“You can try, but I take my eucharist tartar.” Her voice is bad whiskey, each syllable weighed down with vocal fry and rolling waves of gothic apathy. An intrusive memory mutters in Delfino’s head:

 Azarath, metrion, zinthos…

The woman’s eyes linger on Wallace’s corpse for a moment.

“Sure hope you’ve got something to pay with this time, I’m done taking credit from you fuckos.”

Delfino digs in his pocket and removes two small copper coins, their faces worn down to indistinguishable nubs. These he offers to the woman in an open palm: she plucks them out of his hand, gives them a sniff, and nods in slight approval. 

“Aw, you’re learning. Ain’t that cute.”

“Plus the body,” Delfino says, though he wishes he could say anything else. Fewer loose ends this way. An unsolved missing persons report is less trouble, on the whole. They’ll do a brief search, find some planted evidence, and conclude that he wandered off and committed suicide somewhere he couldn’t be found.

The woman nods.

“Bring it round back, I’ll meet you at the garage.”

She shuts the door, and there’s the rattle of chain and the shunk of the deadbolt falling back into place.

**


Fennec sticks the two aes of  Zul-Bha-Sair into the pocket of her bathrobe and shuffles back through the dark house. She pokes her head into the living room where BB, washed in silvery-blue light from the glowing TV, takes up most of the sagging couch. A half-built Unit-00 model lies in pieces on a standing tray. Fennec leans over the couch arm and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and wants nothing more in that moment than to say fuck the Arrangement and return to her couch and cuddle up next to her man and let the green triangle idiots shoot themselves in the balls like they always do. But the Arrangement is the Arrangement, and it is bound with greater ties than words and paper.

“Pause it for me, love. Shitshow to deal with.”

BB grabs the remote, and Paul Hollywood’s face freezes mid-sentence.

“What do they want?”

“The usual. Begging for help as soon as they need to get some dead asshole’s passwords. So much for knowledge is death.”

BB throws up his hands in mock despair.

“Help, help, I can’t look at a fucking book without going craaaaaAAAAAAzy.”

Fennec mock-swoons like a Harlequin cover heroine.

“My god, I'm all the way up to my ankles in the black seas of infinity; guess I’ll just die.”

“How dare those nasty nasty fish men exist; they’re almost as bad as the Welsh!”

Fennec snrks, shakes her head, fishes a joint out of her breast pocket. “Yog, what a fuckin’ joke.” 

BB wordlessly hands her a lighter.

“Want me to keep an eye on them?”

“Yeah. Just one tonight, doesn’t look stupid enough to cause trouble but better safe.” 

BB nods, and then waves a hand at the TV. The lighter click-click-clicks behind his words.

“Can you believe this guy?” 

Fennec takes a long drag and blows a cloud through her pursed lips.

“Right? Who wants a fucking ganache for a s’more? Is nothing sacred?”

**


In the kitchen cupboard to the left of the sink, a spider passes by two inexpertly-spun ceramic mugs belonging to DOPEY SHITHEAD and FUCKASS THUNDERCUNT.

**


The garage door rattles up; Fennec looks no more amused than before, despite the joint now dangling from her lip. She waves a hand at a work table covered in a blue plastic tarp.

Delfino lays Wallace out on the table. Three hours ago, he was complaining about his sciatic nerve and munching his way through a bag of banana chips. Now he’s just empty lungs.

Fennec paces around the body, prodding at it occasionally with a finger (nails painted black, goetic sigils in silver; Paimon, Astaroth, Stolas, Decarabia, Buer) then leaning in for a sniff.

“Egh. Lipitor always gives me the shits. What do you want and how far back?”

Delfino weighs his words like a Scrooge & Marley balance sheet.

“The last fifteen minutes,” he says at last. “Everything after he went into the barn. We need to know what he saw, what was in the book, and what killed him.”

Fennec narrows her eyes, and the hint of a smirk crosses her lips.

“Oh, you really fucked this one, didn’t you?”

Delfino doesn’t take the bait. Grenadine says nothing.

“We need to know.”

Seemingly satisfied, Fennec pulls a switchblade from her bathrobe pocket and starts cutting open Wallace’s shirt along the seams. She flicks her eyes up at Delfino.

“Watching costs extra. If that’s your bag, I've got a cousin out in Ann Arbor who gets real slutty with it.” She jerks her head towards the garage door. “Wait out there. I’ll get you when I’m done.”

**


On the wall in the den, a framed photograph depicts a skinny woman in an enormous sunhat and a very fat man in a Hawaiian shirt standing po-faced and rigid in their best American Gothic in front of the Salem Museum of Witchcraft.

**


Delfino wanders off a few steps and waits, his flashlight illuminating a circle of grassy driveway at his feet. A thousand generations of homo erectus tense their shoulders in the shadows of his mind.

There are noises from the garage: smacks, gurgles, slurps, wet coughs, sharp cracks, crunching and grinding and gulping. Delfino imagines a pair of speakers propped up on top of the garbage, playing a recording; Fennec just stands there, pulling on her joint with self-satisfied smugness. Wallace is simply gone from Delfino’s vision, vanished from the table by trap door or some similar stage magic contraption. That’s all.

The bushes rustle nearby. Delfino catches a pungent whiff of pond-scum and fish-rot, jerks his flashlight up and on to catch a glimpse of something large and bluish and shimmering through the underbrush; an enormous silvery eye contracts its pupil and blinks its nictitating membrane before Delfino instinctively dips the flashlight back to his feet.

“You planning on being a Keystone Cop tonight?” The voice from the dark brush is deep and slightly slurred, as if spoken through novocaine.

Delfino has enough wherewithal to answer “No, not tonight.”

“Then we don’t have a problem. Pretend I’m not here.”

There’s no more voice and no more rustling; just Delfino desperately trying to not think about the pink elephant crouched less than twenty feet away.

**

By-The-Blood-of-Our-Most-Precious-Savior Brown was fourteen when his father was hung as a witch. By that point BB had already buried three of his step-siblings and he had no tears left to shed, though his father deserved none of them in any case: For-the-Glory-of-God-Alone Brown was the sort of a man who only needed an excuse.

For the next twenty years BB lingered in the decaying cabin, living off of what remained of the family fortune and what odd jobs a reclusive man of letters might find. The sickness that had gripped him since childhood progressed unimpeded: his hair fell out, his body bloated to thrice the size of a normal man, his skin grew pale and blueish, his eyes bulged in their sockets.

Shortly after turning 35, he received an unexpected caller. A woman with an isopod tongue claiming to be a cousin from his mother’s side of the family, carrying an invitation. It would all make sense in a few days more, as soon as they reached Y’ha-nthlei.

**


The memories of Agent Wallace swirl around Fennec’s inner eye. Mostly garbage: eat enough brains and the scope of human experience turns into a muddy brown slush even before factoring in screen time. She flushes out the childhood traumas, parents’ divorce, FBI academy, social security number, middle-class ennui, passwords, code phrases and clandestine meetings and brushes with the supposedly unnatural. The green triangle folks - whatever the hell they were calling themselves nowadays - kept plenty of secrets. Their half of the Arrangement held provisions for brutal retaliatory violence should any of those secrets be breached, but in nearly 50 years Fennec hadn’t seen anything worth sharing. It’d be like spilling the beans on a 1st-grader’s hide-and-seek spot.

Fennec winnows down the record of a man’s life to the last fifteen minutes, holding onto the briefest whiff on context. Something about a crooked man with a crooked book using a bit of crooked religion in the new old-fashioned way  to collect a crooked harem blah blah blah dark triad banalities. Fucking wizards. Hand a wizard the barest scrap of actual power and the creativity just vacates his skull. Treasure hunting or sex crimes, no other options.

Wallace-Fennec throws open the barn door, bringing their gun up to aim at a haggard, grey-haired man in dirty underwear with age-crinkled tattoos spattering his arms and neck. They squeeze the trigger and put three bullets in the target’s center of mass before he can get a single syllable out and he collapses to the dirt floor next to the altar he made of fruit-crates.

Wait Wallace-Fennec thinks. He was talking to something.

Wallace-Fennec whips their head around, checking corners. Six bullets left. Nothing moves. Delfino will have heard the gunshots, he’ll be here soon.

The book is open on the altar, the pages a snarl of asemic pseudoglyphs layered like a magic-eye puzzle. Wallace's gaze flits to the page and Fennec doesn’t recognize its contents at first glance. Something clicks in Wallace's head and he sees it, and Fennec sees it too.

She sees [JABBERWOCKY] hanging in the air above the altar, [AND THE MOME RATHS OUTGRABE], and her brain attempts to identify [THE JAWS THAT BITE, THE CLAWS THAT CATCH] through process of negation but before it can go further than the first [IT IS NOT] her reflexive defenses slam the emergency eject button and she violently sprays a chunky bile-brown slurry across the concrete floor. The memory cuts out like a yanked power cord and is devoured by a suicide-rush of specialized phagocytes.

**


Fennec doesn’t remember the name her parents gave her. She doesn’t remember their names, either: she was six when smallpox swept up the valley and her world was obliterated. Memory holds on to the faceless shapes of parents, friends, all her extended family, the village and its neighbors - all gone because of 186 kilobase pairs of DNA.

Maybe she could have made it to a village on the other side of the mountain. Maybe she could have lived for a while off of what she knew about good plants and bad; maybe she could have. But she was six years old and everyone she had ever known was dead, and the terrified thoughts clutching her numbed heart told her that she was sick, too.

She stayed in the village, too scared to leave and not knowing what to do even if she could. She scared off wild animals from the bodies for as long as she could: shouting, throwing stones, waving a stick around. Days passed. She didn’t get sick.

She got very, very hungry.

**


The garage door rattles up, gravel crunches underfoot.

“The fuck did you do? What the fuck?”

Delfino can’t help a moment of deer in the headlights as Fennec storms out into the driveway. The dimmed red flashlight can’t fully hide the ashen tinge of her face or the blood around her mouth; Delfino’s pattern-seeking brain, oblivious to context, compares it to a toddler’s first spaghetti dinner.

The pink elephant moves behind him. The h. erectus chorus screams RUN, and to their terror Delfino’s feet remain frozen.

“Fuck! Hold it!” she shouts to the form in the undergrowth before turning her eyes back to Delfino. “What the fuck were you two doing?”

“I don’t know! They just told us he had the book, they never told us what it was!”

“Yog fucking- are they trying to get people killed?”

Delfino makes some gesture between a shrug and throwing his hands up in despair.

“It sure fucking feels like it sometimes. Were you able to get anything?”

“Nothing, not a fucking thing. Did you burn it?”

“Yeah. It’s gone.”

“Good.”

Delfino makes a spur-of-the-moment choice that will have consequences, but not immediate ones.

“They wanted us to bring it in.”

Fennec snorts.

“Of course they did. Of course they fucking did.” She pauses for a beat before making a similarly consequential choice. “Jesus fucking Christ. Never let them tell you it's secrets man was never supposed to know. Bullshit. Knowing about fission isn’t dangerous; trying to build a breeder reactor in your back yard is, and the world is filled with fuckheads all trying to be Evan Hahn.”

**


The Arrangement: Without warning or announcement, one or more human bodies will be delivered. Information stored within their protein-based processing cores will require extraction and transmission, as dictated; the remainder will require disposal. Payment will be rendered on delivery. Secrecy will be maintained. Violations will be met with lethal force.

**


The car pulls out of the driveway and its engine fades down the road. BB emerges from the brush, his size reduced from hippopotamus to human once more.

“You alright?” he asks.

Fennec takes a deep breath and combs her memories: there’s a sharp, instantaneous cut between cracking Wallace’s skull open between her teeth and standing, hunched over and gasping and tear-blinded, bracing against the table with a splatter of vomit on the floor.

“Yeah. It’s out. Universe heard us talking shit and decided to knock me down a few pegs.”

BB shakes a fist at the dark sky and hisses. 

“Zeusss…” 

That gets a weak laugh out of her, followed by a twinge of stomach pain and a hand pressed to her side.

“Ow. How dare I be punished for my excellence in hubris.”

“Second only to your mastery in humility.” The brief humor drains out of BB’s face “Should we put out a notice?”

Fennec nods, wipes her mouth on the back of her hand.

“Yeah. Not fucking up twice on this one.”

“Mm. You go let everyone know, I’ll clean up the mess.”

“Do we have room in the freezer?”

“If I thaw out the salmon my cousin sent us, yeah.”

“Good, wrap it up and stick it in there. I’ll figure out what to do with it tomorrow.”

Pre-dawn is upon them by the time they finish up and shuffle to bed. The mystery of the ganache will wait for another night.
 

**

Using Fennec and BB in a Game

  • Fennec & BB provide a solution to a couple problems that agents are liable to run into (needing information from a corpse, trying to get rid of a corpse), so a couple minor inconveniences are built in to avoid them fully negating those stressors:
    • They take payment primarily in the currency of Zothique (or other assorted preternatural-adjacent valuables. Junk from Green Boxes, basically, but it's got to be the special junk.)
    • The Arrangement started in the Cowboy Years, and the Program proper doesn't actually know about them, and neither do the Outlaws. The PCs will find themselves with an Asset that will put a target on their backs if they aren't careful.
    • They'll help as far as the Arrangement dictates and anything beyond that is up to whim.
    • They have friends in low places in case the PCs try to double-cross them.
  • They work better in higher-pulp games, naturally, though you could easily tone them down for something more serious. They're also best for downtime between sessions, since that way you can slow-burn the reveal of who they are and what their deal is, and maybe weave in a shotgun scenario for when you have missing players. 
  • They've been together for 187 years and they've made it work. Lean into that. 
  • The actual origin of the Arrangement still lives in undefined narrative convenience land, because it doesn't really matter. They're the weird NPCs who "help" because it's less of a hassle that way, and because they know they'll be around long after the last green triangle is gone.
  • I actually wrote these two up as part of a "Dan writes a romantasy" post, under the auspices of "I want to write about an extremely stable and healthy long-term romantic relationship where the two leads are, by most human standards, visually repulsive". We didn't get to see much of that side of them in this story, but I still have the old draft so expect more in the future.
  • Why not, here's here's their original descriptions:
Fennec - Ghoul. Professional wizard hunter. Skin pale grey-brown and heavily calloused. Disconcertingly thin. Terrible posture. Hair stringy and long, limited to mane on neck. Large eyes that reflect light like a cat. Enormous Dorito shaped ears. Head somewhere between a jackal, a horse and daeodon, thin-skinned and skullish. Yellow teeth fit for tearing meat and crushing bone. Band T-shirt (Divine Tumor Ultradeath Corpse-Magus 2019 US Tour). Olive cargo shorts. Fluorescent pink-blue Crocs (only footwear wide enough to accommodate her weird cloven feet). Laughs like a strangled hyena. Smells like rotten meat and some unidentifiable oily musk.


By-The-Blood-of-Our-Most-Precious-Savior “BB” “Bubbles” Brown - Deep One hybrid. IT specialist, web developer, open-source enthusiast, veteran Wikipedia editor. Approximately the size and shape of a hippopotamus. Soft cephalopodic body pulses with chromatophores and luminescent dots underneath plates of crustacean armor. Towards the front, where most of the tentacles are, the exoskeleton forms a sort of clamshell hinge surrounding his primary mouth and the remains of his body

Despite being a New England Puritan by birth, BB is not part of the [Dagon-Hydra] clan - his lineage originates with the [Scylla-Cetus] dyad, who were forced out of the territory by Dagon-Hydra in the early 1800s.

Like all Deep Ones, BB is a sequential hermaphrodite - male throughout most of the year, then transitioning to female for the summer mating season (as is typical in an environment with few or no females)


**

These posts are fun, and I've still got several in the tank. The Mythos Kick continues.