Wednesday, April 1, 2026

She Sings at the End

 

crocutable

[Heads up: this one goes a bit harder than usual, enough so that I'd rather be safe than sorry and stick a warning up front. Gore, references to sexual violence, and a lot of 2026-grade hopeless bleak despair to follow.]

 

Interior. A TV kitchen set, illuminated by dim lights far above the sound stage. A pile of animal carcasses - endangered, exotic, unidentifiable - spills off the counter and onto the floor. Flies swirl in granular black clouds.

A woman stands at the chopping block, cleaver in hand, grinning out at an audience only she can see. Her apron reads:

 FUCK
 MARRY
 KILL
 THE COOK


She’s not wearing anything else.

"We really have to stop meeting like this: what will the neighbors think?"

She draws a bird of paradise from the mound and the blade falls with a wet sli-chunk. 

"The line that divides man from beast is abhorrence of the flesh. The beast harbors no illusions of its own nature; man glimpses the truth - that he is a machine designed to eat, fuck, and die - and recoils, screaming Lord take this thorn from my side!"

She sticks a feather in her hair and sweeps the mangled scraps of the bird off the counter and into a blue plastic bin.

"Desperate to prove that he is master of his own body, to prove that he is anything but a meat-fuck machine, he will kill and rape and consume and enslave and he will build a placid island of corpses on the black sea of infinity. With trembling hand and seething mind he will drive his knife deep between his ribs and carve out his own heart.”

She slices open an orangutan’s belly, pulls out its intestines, weaves them in her fingers like a cat’s cradle.
"But he can't resist the destiny of complex life, no matter how much he cuts away. He cannot rid himself of his desire and he cannot satisfy it. Sepsis blooms in his mutilated spirit… and he rots. "

She tosses the entrails off-screen and brings down the cleaver on a neat row of thylacine pups.

"Grunting in darkened rooms, they give obsequience to me."

Several heavy blows sever a giraffe's head from its neck; its purple tongue hangs out cartoonishly.

"The abyss stares back with the reflection of one's own face."

She sticks her hand up the stump of the creature's neck and puppets its mouth open and close. Glassy eyes roll in their sockets.

"NUMBER! GO! UP! YAAAAAAAAAAY!"

She smiles with gleaming teeth as the lights flicker out.

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn this way."

The screen fades to black. White text, jittering from the film reel, displays a real-time global death count of livestock updated by the second. 

 
**
 
 

Item OΔ-TS10B CINNABAR

Blue plastic milk crate containing twenty-eight Fujifilm VHS cassettes. Recovered via dead drop handoff in 1993, last documented in 2000, current whereabouts unknown. Prior owner claimed to have purchased them from an anonymous seller in Hong Kong. 

Seven tapes currently in storage; three recovered during Operation HAVERSHAM in 2007 (prior owner claimed to have purchased them from an anonymous seller in Hong Kong in 1995), one purchased from the 2010 Black Auction, two found during 2014-2016 field storage consolidation and inventory, and one recovered in 202█ during CSC team's investigation of Agent Merriweather’s death.

 

**

 

1982: Operation GRISTMILL - Emergency activation of Hong Kong assets to counter emerging threat in Kowloon Walled City. Primary and secondary vectors neutralized; all known Three Stars Movement members terminated. Three of four agents KIA; survivor considered unfit for continued duty and retired (d. 1988; self-termination via gunshot). No further activity detected during follow-up.

 

**

 

Crumpled piece of notebook paper:
SPELL LIST
1. Enlarge
2. Know Guilt
3. Octopus Flesh
4. Fear
5. Creeping Gloom (as Cloudkill)
6. Regenerate
7. Sculpt Flesh
8. Call Down the Void

 

**


truthFINAL.docx
(Hill, 202█)

1431-page manifesto/journal in over a dozen iterations dating back to 2014. From 2017 onwards, the document is dominated by Hill’s belief in what he calls the Empire to Come; an eternal fascist state formed at the culmination of human history by the economic and social fusion of China and the United States. By virtue of being the only technological civilization to survive anthropogenic climate change (through the violent purge of “degenerate elements”), the Empire to Come would be the de-facto great power of the post-Anthropocene world, enslaving or exterminating any of the remaining “racially-inferior subhumans of the new stone age”, and later making contact with the alien civilization that originally seeded earth with life.

Hill is convinced that he is in contact with one of the Empire’s semidivine “god-eater” inhabitants, and that this entity (referred to as “the Whore” in the document) speaks to him from the future through video media. He likewise believes that service to the Whore, in the form of feeding her through the MEAT BOX, will be rewarded with a place of honor in histories not yet written as a vanguard of the Empire not yet made: itemized lists of offerings begin with store-bought meat and swiftly escalate to include wildlife, stolen pets, livestock, and ultimately human beings. Hill views his patron with equally obsessive desire and disgust; significant space is devoted to his method of keeping himself free the Whore’s influence through ritualized semen retention and meditative fantasies of sexual violence against her. 

Views as a whole, the document indicates that Hill’s contact with the vector exaggerated and intensified pre-existing psychological trends, with sudden shifts in 2017 and 2019 correlating to his acquisition of untitled.mp4 from a file-sharing site as part of a bulk lot of pirated pornography and Tape #0 from an anonymous online seller, respectively. It is unclear, however, how much direct influence the vector had over Hill's mental and emotional deregulation and later physical mutations; Hill's account of events paints all of the vector's actions as directed towards him, while the agents of CSC team who oversaw the recovery recounted that she dismissed him as a passing source of free food.

 

**



1968: The Cultural Revolution's anti-cult operations arrest and execute seventy-six members of the Great Lady Society in Shanghai. Two survivors manage to evade capture and smuggle themselves to Hong Kong.

 

** 

 

Tape #12

Exterior. Day. 

An orange wall of burning rainforest rises above a line of blackened earth. A woman stands facing the inferno, her back to the approaching camera. As the camera turns to view her in profile, she raises a curled pangolin to her mouth and bites through its armor; scale shards cut into her gums and blood drips down her chin. She crunches for an uncomfortable minute, winces as she swallows.

“Sure hope that guy enjoys his 20,000 pictures of Rouge the Bat's big stinky feet.” 



**


2014: Photograph posted to r/urbanexploration in a thread titled "Nope. Not today, Satan." Image is of a darkened doorway with no room visible beyond. Two phrases are painted on the concrete wall: "AN ABYSS” in black, and below that in red “A MIRROR".



**



Item recovered during investigation: Black 3-ring binder with no identifying marks or labels; 55 sheets of blank looseleaf paper plus a single page containing an anonymous account of events in a famine-struck village during the Taiping Rebellion. Irregularities and errors in the text indicate machine translation. 

The passage details the arrival of an unnamed woman with noblewoman’s clothes but “a vulgar manner”. She announces that the army of Hong Xiuquan will arrive soon and is in need of provisions; when the villagers say they have nothing to give and have already started eating their dead, the woman notes that this is acceptable under the law of Heaven, but that the approaching army will be just as hungry and far more able to act upon it. With the villagers unsure how to respond, the woman reaches into her sleeve and throws a single dumpling into the mud. “Let’s see which of you is favored.”

Violence erupts among the villagers as she departs, laughing as she twirls her parasol.


 
**
 


1869: A young man, hollow-faced and grim, arrives in Shanghai. He finds work on the docks - it pays little, but he is a stranger to neither poverty nor hunger. He looks no one in the eye, only past or through them, as if forever watching something that isn’t there. Perhaps it was, once. Perhaps it will be.



**



One-star Amazon reviews for The Seventh Goddess: Reconstructing Matriarchal Anatolian Religion in Light of Recent Discoveries at Boncuklu Tarla (Iverson, 2018)

  • "A meandering cavalcade of bad archaeology, worse sociology, Jungian psychoanalysis and second wave gender-essentialism. The evidence provided for the central hypothesis is cherrypicked and spurious at best, and easily disproven with other sources." 
  • "Reads like a parody."
  • "I’m disappointed that it doesn’t go full ancient aliens. If you’re going to be a nutjob might as well lean into it and throw some nephilim in there.
  • "Author had a meltdown and deleted their twitter over one piece of fanart whomp whomp
  • "Was honestly expecting an ad for yoni eggs at the back.
  • "The seated woman of Catalhoyuk has never been done this dirty."
  • "𒈠𒄠𒁲𒄑𒌍𒀀𒉿𒂗𒋾𒀊"
  • "Spends an entire chapter desperately trying to explain how a male skeleton buried in women’s clothing is anything else."
  • "They got they’re tits are out"


**


Tape #5

Snow clarifies into grainy footage of a grimy strip club. Neon lights; music bass-boosted into atonal thumping. An enormous woman sits cross-legged on the stage, surrounded by the limp bodies of naked men. She tears a big bloody chunk from a man’s neck with her teeth, bobs her head in time with music that’s not playing as she chews. Then she stands up, stretches, yawns, and looks down the camera and out of the screen. She smiles, winks, and cartwheels off the stage, bolting towards the door in the back of the club with the speed of an Olympic sprinter. The door shatters and she vanishes from view.

Tape continues for eight minutes before police sirens are heard in the distance and the screen fades back into snow.

 

**



1873: A Shanghai dockworker describes visions of heaven to those who will listen. He tells them how the weight of humanity's evil deeds has grown so great that the cycle of karma has become unbalanced. There can be no escape through virtuous acts: the Middle Way is closed off, the course of the Tao is askew. Even the foreign Christ cannot absolve what has been committed. The only means of salvation is to cast all one’s deeds onto the Great Lady, the sin-eater who takes all debaucheries and grotesqueries into herself. There is no forgiveness in service to her, but there is freedom.

 

**


Tape #17


Exterior. Night. Dead of winter.

A woman in a backless black silk dress stands in foot-deep snow underneath the arch of the Union Stockyard Gate. Wind howls, snowflakes whirl. She doesn’t react to the cold as she sharpens a knife against an obsidian whetstone. A trussed bison hangs from a noose originating out of frame, slowly drifting, twisting, back and forth. 

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing folks that he existed in the first place. Sinners don’t want forgiveness, they want someone to blame. They want a man with a sharp suit and a bladed tongue, stepping into their life like a pharaoh of old to offer them just enough rope to hang themselves. Someone they can outwit before the debt comes due. But they never do, and you and I both know that it’s all coming from inside the house.”

The camera pans up, following the rope to its vanishing point. A black hole and its wan orange accretion disk dominates the sky, pulsing and thrashing and lashing out with fuligin tendrils. Stars fall towards it in long, curved arcs and vanish beyond the event horizon. Low moaning grows in intensity until the endless crashing wave of noise threatens to consume all other sensory input and the camera snaps back down to the woman and the silence of deep winter. She holds a bloody finger up to her lips.

“Shhh. Don’t wake the baby.”

 

**

 

1922: An old man, now, bedridden and fading, looks out the window and watches the rain. He hasn’t worked on the docks for forty years; he hasn’t given a sermon in ten. Whether human frailty or his brushes with the divine that have brought him here, it doesn’t matter. The Great Lady Society devours itself; factionalism among the inner circle has made the situation unstable, untenable; there will be a mad, violent scramble for power the moment he dies, and some of his lieutenants might not wait that long.

But the men walking up to that precipice are no more than far-away shadows passing through his vision. He sits and watches the rain, and sixty-some years ago he huddles in the same downpour in a half-collapsed shack that he never left. Clammy and burning with fever, he is bones and rags and a pit that devours itself.

Just a few feet away, a woman lies curled in the mud, the faint rise of her ribs the only sign of life. She’d been here when he staggered in and collapsed hours ago; she might have done the same, just a few hours before that.

He prays, but his mouth is too dry for words and his thoughts slur together into meaningless chaos. Sense-memories blur together: farm, sermon, baptism, hunger, an angel in the upper air…

The woman’s lips twitch; he hears her voice, clear and steady like starlight and still water…

“Take this and eat of it; this is my body, which will be given up for you.”

He reaches out a trembling hand, and drags himself towards her.


 

**



Item found in field storage: Grey sweatshirt, XXXL. Cuffs stained with dried blood.

Item found in field storage: Polaroid photograph of archaeological dig site. Headless skeletons lie in spokes around a small cavity containing voluptuous female figurine.

Item found in field storage: Carrying case containing 8cm black granite figurine of masturbating, obese woman. 

 

**



707 CE: A novice at Samye monastery suffers a manic episode while fasting. He steals dyed sand from the storeroom, locks himself in his cell, and when the elder brothers last they force the door open, find the novice weeping inconsolably: he has painted a mandala of the eight hot hells and at their center there is a voluptuous goddess, nude but for the black veil covering her face and the golden symbol in its center. 

 

**


Tape #10

Exterior. Day.

Howling wind; choking dust. Brown clouds veil the sun’s silver disk. A tattered American flag flaps on the other side of three layers of chain link and barbed wire. Dark shadows of low buildings are barely visible through the shroud. 

A man speaks, his voice pasted in from a lower-quality recording.

“This criticism of the president’s executive order is baseless: Class-III demographics have historically been a drain on the nation’s resources, and the federal work-settlement program finally presents an opportunity for those individuals to engage as productive members of society.”

A woman with a black umbrella walks into frame from the left. The camera moves to follow her, settling about ten feet behind as she walks through a maze of rusted vehicles in what is presumably a parking lot, past an empty guard station with a shattered barrier, and down an empty road for three hours forty-four minutes.

The empty road turns into a cluster of empty buildings. Many burned, all empty.  Shattered storefronts like broken teeth. A jackknifed semitruck blocks an intersection. Woman and camera turn right for a few blocks, then she stops and points up at a desiccated corpse hanging from a streetlight by a cargo belt. The camera zooms in to a plywood sign fastened around its neck, but whatever was painted on it has long been worn away.

“Drought is God’s punishment for sexual deviancy, or so I heard on the news. They cut to commercial right after, so I couldn’t catch the rest. The divine pleuroma hates anal penetration and loves same-game parlay, you learn new things every day.”

A gust of wind sends the corpse swinging and tears the umbrella from the woman’s hand. She watches it tumble away like a dandelion seed.

“Dingaling-ding, Dr. Pavlov; I want strange fruit for dinner.”

 

** 

 

244 BCE: A petitioner from a village outside of Sarnath, arrives in Pataliputra. He pleads with the guards to grant him an audience with the great Ashoka, telling them that his village is tormented by a mahāpreta, a ghost so hungry that it feeds on the living and ignores all offerings made to appease it. He is turned away as another beggar and madman, but for three desperate days he returns until a young captain takes pity on him and passes word to Tivala. By the time the prince persuades his father to see the pilgrim, it is already too late: the man has starved to death on his own feet.



**

 

Video #12

Interior. The camera pans over hundreds of naked, emaciated people packed into the antiseptic stainless steel of a meatpacking plant. Men with face shields and submachine guns stand along an elevated walkway and stare down at the trudging mass, implacable, bored. A man’s voice ripples over shitty loudspeakers: “And the ʟᴏʀᴅ said: “Tx’uragh dzmllik a’andlat! Again I say unto you: if a man should lay down his life in service of the Great Ones he shall be lifted up! For it is written that you shall love your enemies and forgive those who persecute you!”

Video ends abruptly.

**



Tweet: Cartoon depiction of the Venus of Boncuklu Tarla in Pride flag bodypaint, captioned “Getting kinky with it since 10,000 BC”; Posted June 15 2021 by @████████.


**

 

Tape #9

Heavily-degraded footage of a room, dimly lit by a flickering fluorescent bulb. Cracked concrete wall covered in graffiti. A pile of corpses fills the frame. A cardboard sign sits on a wooden chair, displaying an RCA test pattern and the text PLEASE STAND BY. Occasional humming and heavy footsteps can be heard from offscreen. No apparent end to footage.


**


461 BCE: The magus, his hands shaking, steps into the garden to collect himself. The night air is cool but brings no comfort: the exorcism failed. The merchant’s wife is dead, her body burst open like a rotting fruit. Jahi and Bushyasta had resided in her, and they had laughed at every invocation of Ahura Mazda until their host had choked on blood and vomit. The magus attempts to pray, but finds no solace in it. The daevas’ laughter renews itself in his mind at each mention of the holy name.


**

 

Video #3

Exterior. Dusk.

Waves sussurate on sand. From out of frame, the voice of an elderly man deliriously mumbles over and over in Koine Greek: "Lord, take this thorn from my side..."

His pleading goes unanswered and eventually fades into soft, stuttering whimpers. A large, dark shape rises from the water, backlit by the last smear of orange in the west. The tape degrades into static and then nothing.

 

**

 

3581 BCE: The men of the koryos, drunk on glory and exuberant red thoughts, put the village to the sword. A cheer goes up as flames erupt in thatch. Sky Father smiles on them today: it is a day for slaves and plunder, cattle and sheep, lamentations and gore. 

Kuonikos, son of Kuon Ghe, strikes down an old man with a spear; Hsulaʕwes barks “Posti bhebhudhi!” off to his left and Kuonikos spins to face the burning longhouse. His brain shorts for a moment struggling to square how the woman emerging from the structure even managed to stand up, let alone walk: Kuonikos has never encountered obesity before. 

Before a second thought can command his body, the woman raises her arm and points a thick finger at him. A single word booms in Kuonikos’ thoughts like the memory of thunder…

Ṕ̴̰̰̇Ḧ̴̺̓’̷̜̘̎N̶̗͔̾G̶̥̿L̷̗̹̈́U̵̬̾̈́I̶͓̿̐X̴̤͋́H̸͎̥͑Ŗ̸͔̄

…and Kuonikos, son of Kuon Ghe, is struck with the greatest pain he has experienced or imagined. All thought, all awareness, all sense of self evaporate in violence as his skin is degloved scalp to toe, his anal sphincter collapses, his guts fall out in a shower of blood and shit, his lungs rot in his chest.

It still takes three days for him to die.


**


Tape #20

Exterior. Day.

Handheld camcorder footage date stamped MAY 03 1996; recorder walks along a dirt path next to a creek. Mountains bear down over the greenery, claustrophobic. Light fog; no birdsong.

A woman speaks from off-camera:

“In times of need, when the earth and sky gave no aid, they came to the caves. Priestesses fattened on pemmican and mammoth meat, spirits ablaze with sacred psilocybe, would descend alone into the dark places to speak with the dead and the spirits of things older than the moon and sun.”

The camera emerges from the woods to a clearing at the head of a valley. The overgrown ruins of an Orthodox chapel abut the cliff-face. Warning signs in Russian and Georgian demand the reader turn back or be shot. The lopsided bulk of a Soviet troop carrier rusts where it came to rest. Faded graffiti tags splatter vehicle, church, rock wall in acrylic petroglyphs.

Stepping around brush and rubble, the camera enters the chapel through a hole in the wall. Time has reduced the iconostasis to a pile of rotting wood, bird shit, saints peeled of paint until they are faceless shapes. The altar and the stone it rested on lie disturbed, thrown aside by some moment of violence to reveal an open pit into the rock, sloping away into darkness. The camera goes just up to the edge, peering down into the gloom.

“You can fly too close to more than just the sun.”

The camera drops suddenly into the hole; the tape ends with a flash of black and then static.

 

**

 

Tape #26

Totalizing, featureless dark. Raspy breathing, footsteps on stone, the brush of a hand against an unseen wall. No light has ever reached this place.

At 11 seconds, a woman begins speaking. Unidentifiable words, flat intonation. Echoes bounce in irregular, chaotic waves. Yellow subtitles flicker at the bottom of the screen.

“My name is ████, of the ████████; my mother was ███████; her mother was █████. I was inducted into the mysteries by █████████████████. ██████ son of █████ was the love of my heart. I have no daughters nor sons.”

The mantra goes on. Her voice grows rough as recitation wears at her throat. She stumbles and skips over words, chokes on her breath, repeats phrases or names in loops, stops suddenly and starts anew from the beginning. Acoustic analysis provides the lightest implication of her surroundings.

On the 23rd cycle, she pauses midway and then resumes after an extended exertion. 

Running water is briefly audible on the 58th cycle.

On the 71st cycle, she slips and falls, and lays still for two minutes and ten seconds. All following cycles are recited with severe discomfort.

By the 110th cycle, there’s not enough space for an echo. Her footsteps transition into the shuffle of hands and knees, and then a sporadic dragging.

During the 135 cycle, she stops moving at all.

She stops speaking midway through the 294th cycle, repeating “the love of my heart” twice before falling silent. Ragged breathing continues for another seven hours and twelve minutes; footage continues indefinitely afterwards.


**



1925: China has been in a state of war, civil and otherwise, for nearly a century. Friends and acquaintances of Mr. J. Elias arrive in Shanghai by steamer ship. They will leave a string of corpses in their wake as they attempt to dismantle the Great Lady Society, and by week's end three of them will be dead, two will be in jail, and one will vanish into the night. On July 7th 1962, he will emerge from the Siberian forest, approach a Soviet guard station, request a doctor in perfect Russian, and keel over dead on the spot.


**


Tape #??

City street. Daylight filtered through smoke. A woman in an oversized sweatshirt sits atop a throne of corpses underneath the shade of a yellow umbrella. Bright red butterflies sit sunning their wings. Indistinct shouts and chaotic sounds fill the background. She is eating a charred shank of meat with a human foot attached. With mouth full, she looks to the viewer and says:

“We’ve been here before, haven’t we?”

She’s speaking in English, this time. Her subtitles are a meaningless snarled jumble: Hanzi, Mkhedruli, Avestan, Latin, Devanagari.

"You know the line already, I won’t bore you by repeating it."

She swallows her mouthful, but doesn’t take another bite. A butterfly lands on her shoulder; she ignores it.

“There were seven of us, once. The mother. The hunter. The witch. The warrior. The exile. The fool. And me. Seven sisters, not of blood but of bond, all gone. Now there’s just me. They left me behind, or I went on ahead.”

She flicks the butterfly away.

"I appreciate the company."

She resumes eating in silence, with no apparent endpoint.

**


Basement
Concrete and cinder block. High enough to stand upright, but you cannot shake the instinct to duck. Buzzing incandescent bulb; murky gold-orange light. Cool, wet air reeks of meat, shit, and fear.

  • Handcuffs dangle from a pipe affixed to the wall.
  • Floor drain caked in brown-black sludge.
  • Bear-resistant trash disposal. MEAT BOX scribbled in paint pen over every available inch of surface space.
  • CRT television with built-in VCR player on dusty workbench.
  • Light blue plastic milk crate containing one VHS tape; cardboard box labeled in Hanzi by two different hands
    • Bold permanent marker: DO NOT VIEW
    • Shaky pencil: SHE SINGS AT THE END

  

**


Video #NaN

Exterior. Day. 

A woman in a blood-crusted Vikings jersey stands in knee-deep snow, suburban housing behind her, and stares directly down the camera barrel.

“I regret to inform you that the future is an illiterate fascist in a bunker raping his lobotomized daughters, forever. The LLM side-loaded into his proprietary brain implant showers him with praise. His sons, arrayed like the shining hosts of heaven in their electric trucks, will ride out into the concentration camps for sport and will stack the dead like buffalo skulls.” 

She stumbles sideways, as if struck by a heavy wind. The snow is undisturbed.

“A quart of wheat for a dogecoin, and three quarts of barley for an etherium; but do not damage the soylent or Mr. Beast’s kitchen.”

She grimaces, as if struggling to keep down vomit. Words struggle for purchase.

“The last men on Mars will eat each other. An agoge will be built on the National Mall. The mighty ones shall cry out ‘Father! Father!’ to a god that died before the sun was born.”

Somewhere in the distance, a dog bays. She staggers towards the camera. An eye has changed: black sclera, red iris, gold pupil like an inverted Y.

“There is a worm in the heart of the universe and its law is red.”

She steps back, closes her eyes, and takes a long, deep breath. In. Out. Again. Then she opens her eyes and shrugs.

“But what are you gonna do? I’m just the-”

A gunshot cracks; the bullet hits her in the back of the head and bursts out from her right temple. She falls forward in a limp pile with a soft whumph.

She doesn’t get back up.

Twenty seconds later, two men in tactical gear and balaclavas enter the frame. They inspect the body, exchange a few muffled words, and the tape ends.


**



The final act is upon us. With the poise and elegance of a kalpa's practice, the soprano takes the stage for one last aria. She smiles at the shadowed audience, raises a hand…

It is the end of the last opera in the world.


**



Well then, here we are. This post took three years to write, possibly a bit longer, and there’s an entire scrapped essay about the process. (I still have the draft, if folks want to read it: let me know in the comments.)

Tā È will be a familiar face to longtime readers of the blog (if I haven’t borked it, those characters at the top should translate as “she is hungry” - this isn't technically her name, just the label on that first tape, but it works in a pinch). The form she takes here is an amalgamation of sources: her first iteration was a minor mod / reference to 2016 shotgun scenario Do Not View by Trung Bui (see Operation HYACINTH) where I swapped out Y’golonac for the Bloated Woman from Masks of Nyarlathotep. Then she shows up in untitled.mp4 in the Lighthouse Field Guide and TAKE-HOME CONTAINER, and then once (possibly twice, depending on how you interpret the Secret Mark recitation) in my anomalous media post.

Anyway, surprising absolutely no one, the Bloated Woman’s writeup in Masks of Nyarlathotep and the Malleus Monsteorum is absolutely terrible, and it's that special kind of bad where the part of my brain that has dumb ideas is compelled by its badness goes "you should totally make a good version of this idea as a writing challenge / for style points." 

From there she also inherited some theories I had about Tom Haan from The Magnus Archives: I totally understand why he got dropped from the show (having the most prominent Chinese character be a cannibalistic monster does skew close to some old Yellow Peril tropes), but! in 2/3 of his on-air appearances, Tom dabbles in Christianity-flavored flesh horror; I was expecting his plot to have some connection to the Taiping Rebellion (since that would be the historical context where you'd most likely get all three factors in one place), but TMA didn't go that route and I kept it in my back pocket. Hopefully I didn't fuck it up. 

I guess I do need to finish that essay now: this outro is getting bogged down with me summarizing it.

It took so much self-control to not have her drop "This is your coming century!" in the last tape.

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

100 Pulls from the Folk-Motif Index

The Stith Thompson Motif-Index of Folk Literature is not what I'd call a particularly useful text for real-world folkloric studies. It’s a big list of story elements shorn from their context, heavily weighted according to the biases of its composer, and full of entries that are either too broad to be a useful comparison or too specific to possibly exist in more than one tradition.

On the plus side: it’s a big list of story elements shorn from their context which means you can flip to a random page, start reading, steal everything you think is interesting, tweak as you see fit, and build up the religious and cultural narratives of whatever fantasy people you please. Here’s a link: the copyright never got renewed so this whole damn thing is public domain, baby!

For this post I just went and chose at random, but with the way that the Index reduces everything to generically-named components you can easily build a more structured myth by picking an entry you like (weddings, deaths and births are a good place to start) and build out links one by one. I might do that for a second installment. 

A Mythology in 100 Parts

  1. Creator is accompanied by a dog (A33.1.1)
  2. God as son of 9 giantesses (A112.5)
  3. Deity born from skull (A114.3)
  4. Twin (or triune) goddesses (A116.2)
  5. God with 3/5/6 faces (A123.2.X)
  6. Maggots in the mouth of man-eating god (A123.2.2.1)
  7. God with 2 joined bodies (A123.1.2)
  8. God with 13 eyes (A123.3.1.3)
  9. God with 8 heads (A123.4.1.3)
  10. God with a stone head (A123.4.2)
  11. Goddess of war in shape of a red woman (A125.1.1)
  12. God in tiger's skin (A131.5)
  13. Bear goddess (A132.5)
  14. God's home under tree of life (A151.7.1.1)
  15. God uses interpreter to speak to women (A182.3.0.4)
  16. God's elephant (A155)
  17. Gods covered in red and yellow feathers (A139.9.3)
  18. Dwarf god (A134)
  19. God carries siblings in a basket on his back (A137.4.1)
  20. Goddess appears as coral reef (A139.8.2)
  21. Animal elders & the angels of animals (B1 & B1.1)
  22. Dragon as modified shellfish (B11.2.1.3)
  23. Man-eating mares (B16.1.3.1)
  24. Ghormuhas: men's bodies, horses' heads, one leg, cannibals. (B15.7.5)
  25. Burrowing swine heat ground (B19.4.1)
  26. Sheep with a fiery collar (B19.4.3)
  27. Giant swimming raven (B31.3.1)
  28. Air-going elephant (B45)
  29. Flying crustacean (B48)
  30. Deer with one gold and one silver antler (B15.3.2.1)
  31. Frog with magic knowledge (B126.1)
  32. Animal languages learned from ghosts / spirits (B217.3)
  33. Magic dead pig (D1281.1)
  34. Clairvoyant tube (D1323.9)
  35. Star-deity and drought-demon fight (A255)
  36. Angel of the deep (A421.0.1)
  37. God of the Squid (A455.1)
  38. Goddess of Smith-work (A451.1.1)
  39. Water spirits have hearth made of three human skulls (F420.2.5)
  40. Abandoned infant lives by eating corpse of murdered father (G25)
  41. Witch has 3 giant sons (G206)
  42. Witch with iron teeth (G314.2)
  43. Witch with 15 tails (G219.8.1)
  44. Witch has extraordinary physical strength (G221.3)
  45. Moon punishes for breach of tabu (C905.2)
  46. Transformation: man to peanut (D222.1)
  47. Magic drink causes insanity (D1367.2)
  48. Blood of salamander protects against fire (D1382.13)
  49. Magic red stone protects from poison (D1383.6)
  50. Earth from saint's grave expels demons (D1385.1)
  51. Magic sight given to child + magic sight given by dead person (D1821.6 + D1821.8)
  52. Rejuvenation by song of pelican (D1889.3)
  53. Covenant of friendship (P311.5)
  54. Student enters competition with their teacher (P342)
  55. Woman disguised as monk enters monastery (P426.3.3)
  56. Impregnation by lightning (T528)
  57. Lesbians give birth to monsters (T462.1)
  58. Hunting is a madness of kings (P12.1)
  59. King descends to bottom of sea in glass barrel (P15.5)
  60. Princes as smiths (P31.1)
  61. 2 brothers become pirates (P251.5.1)
  62. Twins freed from mother's rotting corpse (T584.2.1.1)
  63. Mother kills husband for murdering their daughter (P211.2)
  64. King mourns wife's death so much he becomes a pirate (P27.2)
  65. King never touches earth; carried around by slaves (P14.5)
  66. Inauguration of king as espousal to goddess (P11.6)
  67. Woman paints face to become pregnant (T579.8.2)
  68. Child with several mothers (T589.9)
  69. Children from a well (T589.6.4)
  70. Child born each day for a week (T586.5.2)
  71. Marriage by drinking festival (T135.6)
  72. Marriage of girl to sword (T117.2)
  73. Wife goes to land of dead to procure husband's heart (F81.1.1)
  74. Stair to lower world (F94)
  75. People of the lower world emerge to drink and dance in the evening (F108.2)
  76. Journey to the Land of Women (F112)
  77. Journey to Land of the Unborn (F115)
  78. Submarine monastery (F133.3)
  79. Witch's house at border of otherworld (F147.3)
  80. Ogres harnessed to plow (G675)
  81. Blood of 5 ogres: yellow, red, white, green, black (G367.1)
  82. Devil employed as midwife (G303.9.3.2)
  83. Woman requires 30 men (as husbands) (T146.2)
  84. Wife hides husband's infidelity from emperor, shelters his mistress (T222)
  85. Pot so heavy with ghosts that girl cannot lift it (E499.3)
  86. Speaking and bleeding trees; reincarnated persons (E631.0.4)
  87. Noah saves a giant on the ark; too big to go inside, has to stay in the rigging (F531.5.9)
  88. Stolen animal's meat impossible to cook (Q212.4)
  89. Punishment: Imprisonment in white-hot iron house (Q414.2)
  90. Princess (queen) compelled to keep an inn (Q481)
  91. Abduction by goddess's cat (R13.2.3.1)
  92. Captivity in subterranean palace (R41.1.1)
  93. Girl hidden in skin of dead mother (R318)
  94. Intestines wagered (N2.3.5)
  95. Evil spirit harpoons sleepers (F402.1.11.3)
  96. Recognition by hole burned in hand when woman removes glove (H56.1)
  97. Quest for golden wood for knife handle (H1359.1)
  98. Wolf tries in vain to be doctor (J512.5)
  99. Beaver and porcupine trick each other (K896.1)
  100. Fox disguised as scholar (K1822.2)


Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Bookpost 21

Bookpost Index

The Author of the Acacia Leaves, Ursula K LeGuin

LeGuin writes about ant language for a few pages. It’s good, unsuprisingly.


Enchantress of Venus, Leigh Brackett

DNF 63%

Same series as Black Amazon of Mars, same issues. Prose and descriptions are decent, plot and characters are not. This is actually the second in the series, with Black Amazon being the third and last, so I'm reading them backwards. This doesn’t actually matter, because she was definitely phoning these in and their structures are identical: boring man bumbles around, encounters modestly more interesting woman who actually has a motivation and a plot, boring man helps out modestly more interesting woman.

Stark is a nothing character (picaresque novels are often in danger of this, but it’s especially present here) whose main trait seems to be randomly kissing women he has just met prior to any indication on the woman’s part that she was amenable to being kissed by him at that time. Only have 2 data points at the moment, but it’s happened twice. Sword-and-sorcery/planet authors write a male lead whose hobby isn’t serial assault challenge (impossible).

If you took the two female leads of the two Stark stories I've read and combined them, you’d have a solid main character. Doubtlessly the woman in the story that I haven’t read yet would round out the triad. Part of me wants to try and complete the experiment, but wanting to try’s never meant it’s a worthwhile effort and it would mean forcing myself through these.

The descriptions of sword-and-planet Venus are great, though. Oceans of red clouds thick enough to sail on but still gaseous enough to breathe in. 

Queen of the Martian Catacombs, Leigh Brackett

DNF 48%

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a man with minimal personality meets a modestly more interesting woman with an actual motivation. He gets dragged along in some scheme or another because he’s useful. Along the way the boring dude meets a teenage(?) girl who helps him and it’s the same story, it’s all the same goddamn story!  

Since this is the first of the trilogy, it’s got a little more setup and a slight bit more meat on the narrative (local warlord causing issues, Stark is brought on by the interplanetary peacekeeping forces to infiltrate warlord’s inner circle before he turns Mars into a generation-long bloodbath). But also we get the reveal that there’s yet another layer to the “Stark totally isn’t black, you guys!” thing - he was raised by aliens, you see.

Oof.

There is a good description of how the inhabited part of ancient city migrated down the crater as the water dried up. That'll stick with me.



The Book of the Law, Aleister Crowley

If I judge it purely as a work of fiction, I think it’s an evocative bit of mythopoeic word-salad. Crowley knew his way around a sentence, and he was unsurprisingly skilled at writing in the voice of a bloviating wizard of yore high on his own ecstatic farts whilst pondering his orb and plotting to cause problems on purpose. Neat to know this is where "The ending of the words is..." is from, hilarious that it's fucking abracadabra. This is the extent of the good things I have to say about it.

Under normal circumstances I could shrug off the odious philosophy and laughably charlatanistic premise with "yeah, that's 1904 for you", but the Book of the Law was written as a magical-religious text, rather than fiction in imitation of one. That extra context raises my hackles and unheimlichs my stomach, which is not helped that the odious philosophy element is "Aleister Crowley was a fascist". Or a sparkling authoritarian, if you prefer. A man who wouldn't be averse to having his boots spit-shined. A true blue prototype for the modern adolescent-edgelord-slash-upper-class-twit-of-the-year-to-reactionary-violence pipeline. By about a quarter of the way through chapter 2 I was rolling my eyes and thinking "oh fuck off mate we've got the Scarlet King at home." He's not particularly subtle about how his ideal arrangement of the universe involves the brutal oppression of the many by the few, he just swaps out the nation-state for re-seasoned Greco-Egyptian mystery religion and appropriated kabbalah.

Normally I would segue into "and here's how I have turned all of this on its head" at this part, since the man's long dead and this along with a lot of his other stuff is in the public domain - but unlike the polyvocalic mess of a long-established religious tradition the reader is left with few fruitful avenues of wiggling their way out of the mess by taking advantage of internal contradictions, and unlike your average pulp story there's no real narrative to transform or characters to shift focus to: there's just Crowley here, echoing in an empty room.


Mirrikh; or, a Woman from Mars, Francis Worcester Doughty
DNF chap 5/30

The story starts enjoyable enough; there’s a psychic man from Mars visiting Cambodia (as one does, as a psychic man from Mars) and a somewhat overly-leisurely unraveling of why (I'm certain that "he just wanted to visit Angkor Wat" is not the actual answer, unfortunately, but it’s nice to imagine. I'd visit Angkor Wat if I was a psychic man from Mars). It’s basic 1890s orientalism, though in the chapters I read the main problems were all the old spellings of city names (Panompin instead of Phnom Penh) and a section of “my guy you’ve spent how many years living here how are you still this wrong about Buddhism.” It’s tolerable up to that point.

Then all that comes to a screeching halt complete with fire and shattered glass because our narrator (who is not a psychic man from Mars) decides he’s just fallen head over heels in love with a young woman who has just been stripped half-naked and whipped by an angry mob of racist stereotypes. A woman he does not exchange a single word with, whose name he does not know, who is at best half his age, and whose age is a concerning string of question marks because she’s only ever described as “a girl”.

This character, mind you, introduces himself and the story by griping about how his wife left him and how that caused him to swear off women and romance for good.

Motherfucker your wife left you because you’re in the fucking emails. You went to the fucking island. Jesus fucking Christ. 



Armageddon 2419 A.D. Philip Francis Nowlan

The first Buck Rogers story. I was expecting it to be racist, but I was definitely not expecting it to be so racist that you could quite literally pull the twist of “they were actually Martians and the whole ‘Han’ thing is a psychic disguise where the observer’s fears and prejudices were reflected back at them” and it wouldn’t contradict anything. The story is so unwilling to humanize its antagonists that they’re physically on-screen for maybe 3, 4 pages max. Everything else is just the airships. You could replace them with automated drones and only lose the racism.

It’s also astoundingly boring. Barely 80 pages long and most of that is clunky exposition padding out the space between incidents of action. Any moment that might be given to internality or character relationships is skipped right over. This would be more tolerable if the action scenes were fun, but they’re boring too! There’s no tension: a threat emerges, and then it is immediately defeated with no lasting damage or consequences. What would normally be the climactic heist of the enemy citadel is actually the leadup to the actual climax, which is the total massacre of a heretofore unseen and barely-mentioned faction. And then it just ends. The whole thing reads like a parody of itself, and this is the first installment.

Good god I need to read something written this century.


The Blind Spot, Austin Hall and Homer Eon Flint

But not before I do one more PD book for the road. Significantly better than the previous two on the grounds that its greatest flaw is being structurally frustrating.

The material components are good: house with some sort of interdimensional portal in it, a magic ring that drains the life of its wearer, competing supernatural entities who are after it. That’s all good, it’s got the fun conceptual freedom that comes with writing sci-fi before the genre expectations are codified. I could turn the premise into a middling-to-decent SCP article with little effort and into a good one with only a little more.

The problem is that the stakes of the plot aren’t established until more or less the midpoint, which is also when we toss out basically everything that had come in the first half to focus on a character we have barely met up to this point, who then interrupts the flow of events to provide us with a story-within-a-story of his time on the other side of the portal for the next 45% of the book. And this happens right when things are ramping up and characters are becoming more active and finding more clues, and the new plot of the back half feels disjointed and loose, with the new material feeling unconnected even to itself. Stakes and actions and motivations don’t make sense under scrutiny: questions are asked that don’t really need to be, questions that should be asked aren’t asked, answers that could easily clear up what’s going on are brushed off with “I can’t tell you, you wouldn’t understand”. There’s a lot of wheel-spinning when it comes to how information is dealt out, lots of “what is the Blind Spot?” without any meaningful investigation (and a lot of wasting time asking the question) until the sudden burst of productivity at the midway point.. The ending is abrupt, and multiple threads and characters are abandoned, or just confusingly written to the point where I'm not sure what their point in the narrative was. 

Being written in 1921, it’s fully in the mode of scientific spiritualism, which I felt mostly neutral on. It’s just a different kind of technobabble, end of the day, though one I don't find very interesting. 

Added bonus: all of the main male characters save one have a name beginning with H, which makes it damn near impossible to differentiate between them, which is a problem when the first half jumps between multiple POVs.

I wouldn’t recommend it outside of historical curiosity, but I’m glad that I read it.


 

Saturday, March 7, 2026

Burgeoning Blogs 4

< Part 3  

76. What do goblins smell like? What about trolls? Do elves have a particular smell?
Goblin smell can only be described as “funky”. 

Trolls smell like wet earth, musk, and piss (from territory marking)

Elf smell depends on how I am interpreting elves at that moment, and could be either:

  • Floral or fragrant wood scents (either magical effect or perfumes)
  • Highly muted (because they don’t sweat)
  • Normal human body odor


77. What do your cleric's holy symbols look like? Are they needed for turning?
Symbols have no benefit on their own; they’re helpful because they help keep the exorcist focused, but they aren’t required for the process.

The hamsa is your generic all-purpose atropaic symbol; deity-specific symbols will typically be an emblem (think mon or adinkra) incorporating stylized / modified names or titles, iconic items, and their most prominent symbolic concepts.

78. What does the "bare minimum" for you to run a game look like?
2 players, ~2 hours, 1 dice set or a phone app; I can run Last Things Last from memory.

79. What happens at 0 HP in play, can I get a healing potion down their throat?

0 HP means a character is downed (unconscious if they fail a save), so they’ll need to be stabilized within a turn or two before I start calling for death saves. Basically just Mothership rules.

80. What happens when a character dies in your setting?

They're gone: bodily death means that the soul can no longer maintain cohesion. With no breath to sustain it, the fire goes out and the shade will go down into the underworld. It’s not a conscious or individuated entity, but it might linger around for a bit.

Alternatively, if I want to completely upend everything I have, I do something real funky with how souls, planes, and reincarnation work and make an entire foundational magic system out of it.

81. What happens when someone eats dragon meat? Drinks their blood?
It’ll give you powerful dragon magic, start transforming you into a dragon / some kind of horrible hybrid abomination, and puts a target on your back; once you’ve started on the Burning Path, you’ve been upgraded to a meaningful threat by both dragons and other ascendants.

82. What Idea or concept are you "saving" for a future game/campaign?
I have no idea how practical it is (probably not practical at all), but I'd love to try “Delta Green in the Dreamlands using Runequest magic”.
 
83. What is a generous/stingy tip to a porter, stablehand, or potboy in your setting?
Either way it’s a small enough amount that I don’t find tracking it to be fun or meaningful.

84. What is a ruling you regret or wish you would have handled differently?
See #60. I should have hit pause, explained what the immediate consequences would, and then see how they wanted to proceed.

85. What is one food that differs from ours that everyone knows about in your game?
I normally stick to real-world foods tweaked slightly (ex: river-octopus takoyaki) or eaten outside of their presumed cultural context (ex: a king in Generic Fantasy PseudoEurope eating empanadas), but with all the giant bugs in D&D-derived fantasy I have to assume that someone out there has started farming them at scale.

86. What is plate mail in your game? Does armor come with gloves/gauntlets?
Plate armor lives in a weird place in my mind: I’m so used to seeing overdesigned concept-art versions of it, and find it so linked with the class marker of “murderous zealot landlord”, that I don’t really think about it much at all and just kind of go “yeah, it’s like Laios’ kit from Dungeon Meshi” and leave it like that. Not going to get fancy with it unless I’m channeling Elden Ring and / or playing Mythic Bastionland.

87. What is the perfect hex size for the number of features you place/stock?
1 parasang. Not the actual historical measurement, a Caves of Qud parasang, where an unfamiliar unit is used Gene Wolfe style to give the audience a trackable measurement without having to worry about exact detail. Worrying about the exact spatial scale of RPG travel is less important to me than the temporal one: how many days/turns/actions does it take?

88. What method do you use for tracking turns elapsing or hit points depleted?

Frantic scribbling on looseleaf. Or a spin down d20, though I think I've lost mine.

89 What other hobbies do you possess that seep into games, subtly or otherwise?
Look, you're already reading this blog you know there’s going to be linguistics, anthropology, and astronomy deep cuts.

90. What step in the common procedures do you often forget or elide/change?
If it involves exploration turns in dungeons, I am dogshit at it. Maybe I need to just get rid of the explicit time aspect and just treat them as Arbitrary Time Units. Spending ten minutes for an entire party to case a room that often doesn’t have all that much in it just never made sense to me, regardless of its mechanical practicality.

91. What topics or themes are off-limits in your games? How do you communicate this?
I do lines and veils and establish mood / tone before the first session, and make sure that if there is heavier material in the module that people know that going in. In my DG player’s guide, I wrote this up:

“Torture and sexual assault are not going to be encountered “on-screen”; they might be mentioned as prior events either directly or through implication. PCs will often find themselves dealing with the aftermath of horrific events.”

This has, so far, been a fruitful way to thread the needle.

92. What was one major conflict/war that has occurred within recent memory?
I use the Dayr War from MSF as my conflict template, tweaking specific details as needed while keeping the core of:

  • Occurred 10~15 years ago
  • Wizards were involved
  • Was fought outside the region of play (so veterans went out and then came back)


93. What would be the punishment for stealing a loaf of bread? A horse?
A loaf of bread will get you pointed in the direction of the almshouse and community work-crew organizer; a stolen horse will likely net you a fine for replacement cost + lost wages, plus a big black mark on your reputation. Much cheaper to just rent the horse from the public stables down by the post office.

94. What's the deal with those alignment languages in your games?
They’re the liturgical languages of major religious traditions. Should make a post about that.

95. Where does lamp oil come from/how is it made?

Seed oil and animal fat, with specific varieties dependent on your region but ultimately mechanically identical 

For adventurers far from civilization, it’s trickier to procure; your best bet is to hunt a squonk, since you can use both its oily skin secretions and rendered fat and you can sell the surplus when you get back to town.

96. Which die from the typical (or atypical!) polyhedrals is your favorite and why?

I’m a basic bastard and will just say that a nice d20 is a satisfying shape.

97. Who digs those dungeons? Why do they attract so much treasure/danger?
One of my all-time favorite fantasy tropes is the city/town/castle/dungeon/ruins built on top of something old and horrible. Something terrible happened there long ago, but whatever it is and no matter how horrible it is people will build on the site and dig deep to find it. 

98. Who is the most powerful magic user in your setting? The most infamous thief?
Most powerful magic user is a toss-up; after a certain point it just becomes comparing nuclear arsenals. But it’s likely to be either the Grey Witch or the King of Wands in any case.

The most infamous thief is, of course, Arsene Lupin. Or Robin Red-Hood. Or Sinbad the Sailor. Honestly if they're good at being a thief they’re also good at hiding their identity, so there’s a lot of pseudonymous heisting going on.

99 Why are elves immune to ghoul paralysis? How long do they live?
Boring answer is that it's just some weird quirk of how proteins bind or don't bind and how that impacts neuron transmission blah blah blah blah. Elf lifespan is either "normal human", "average old tree", "bristlecone pine", and "fondly remembers mammoths"

100. Why do dwarves and elves have that classic enmity, or do they?
Nah. You might have something like it on a community level, but it’s going to be for normal reasons of why neighboring groups might dislike each other.

That’s for “elves and dwarves are types of humans”, of course; “elves and dwarves are magical beings” has less reason for the enmity IMO, as their habitats don’t really overlap. Elves in the forests, dwarves deep in the earth.

Wednesday, March 4, 2026

Burgeoning Blogs 3

> Part 4  

51. May I please see a devious trap or dangerous hazard you have created?
A fountain with a shin-deep pool of clear water. 

  • [Important item] clearly visible at the bottom of the fountain 
  • Starving, translucent ooze detectable only by
  • Close inspection (optical anomaly in the water)
  • Tossing in a small item (bounces off cell membrane)
  • Reaching into the water (triggers an attack).



52. Please share 3 new/distinctive magical spells you or your players have created

  • Rite of Perfect Discoverie - A scrying spell that locates an item’s possessor / possessed item if you have the other component present. Requires ritual circle and mirror; mirror displays a path from caster’s present location to target’s present location. Ritual draws attention of Beasts of Many Angles, who will appear in mirror in the peripheral vision of caster; initial response will be curiosity / investigation, further use will set them on the hunt.
  • Call upon NIN-SU-GAL – A means to summon and propitiate the Lady of the Great Flesh, derived from the rites of the Lušārātum (“hairy men”). Requires ritual circle, food offering, and some medium of visual communication (television, computer monitor, mural or painting, etc). Encounters will be brief and distressing.
  • Blood Clot - Triggers a catastrophic stroke in the target after ~6 seconds of sustained eye contact on failed save. Requires series of hand-signs; mouthing trigger words to maintain focus common but not necessary. Deeply traumatic to witness.



53. Share a puzzle or riddle that has produced a memorable experience for you
I’ve mentioned it in a previous post, but I’m still pleased with how I was able to use the Navajo Code Talker booklet in my Delta Green campaign

54. Share some common superstitions practiced by the people of your setting

  • It’s good luck to spit over the side of a bridge the first time you cross it.
  • The father of the gods’ favorite food is noodles; offering it to guests brings good fortune (and is just being a good host).
  • Cats are messengers of the gods (when they feel like it), and so shooing one out of a shrine is extremely bad luck.


55. Show me three brand new monsters you have created for your game!

Daemonophagic Hippopotamus
An otherwise ordinary hippo that has gained a vivid red-and-black coloration from a diet of demons.

Red Fundament Footsolider
A tall, grey-skinned creature in rust-red armor like an arthropod exoskeleton. Communicates with its packmates with a series of mandible clicks and throaty wheezes. Two carry long rifles, one carries a flamethrower (as Cone of Fire)

Meat Pile
An elderly slime, no longer able to flush detritus out of its body; a sludgy mass of dirt, decaying flesh, broken bones. Stinks to high heaven. Leaves a filmy trail on the ground. Effectively immune to damage (unless you can sustain an intense burn). Will slowly pursue the party through the dungeon, squeezing through tight spaces and unseen passages to move between non-adjacent rooms.

56. Summarize your campaign setting in 2d20 words or Less
2d20 = 4 (3,1)
Things I personally like.

57. Talk about your favorite Blog/Creator for a little bit! Give them some compliments!
Arnold Kemp is the reason I started my blog, and he’s the reason I got involved on G+ back when the party was going strong. A new post on Goblin Punch is a drop-everything-and-read-it moment, and has been for over a decade.

58. Tell me about a book or movie that really influenced you in terms of these games!
It feels like cheating to say Lord of the Rings, but I’ll say Lord of the Rings. Specifically in the field of orcs: I think Tolkien kinda fell into a perfect storm scenario where he paired an extremely potent core idea with pretty dodgy execution, and D&D copying the latter without the former has led to an entire genre ecosystem of compounding issues over 50 years. But all those compounding issues fall into the “shit makes for good fertilizer" category for me, and I like the challenge that they present to me as a writer; it’d be easy to just remove orcs, but I  find it more rewarding as a writer to go “okay, here’s what Tolkien was aiming for, here’s the issues, can I thread this needle?”

Considering I have like, 7 alternate versions of orcs cooked up at time of writing, the answer is “well, at least it's a productive line of inquiry if nothing else.”
 
59. Tell me about a thing you've included "just for you" without regard to the players
Valeria (positively) described Unicorn Meat as  “VaatiVidya bait” and that’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten. I fill basically everything I write with references and connections and allusions to other things, regardless of whether or not people will ever find them (though I always love it when they do). 

The best example for Unicorn Meat isn’t particularly hidden, but it’s also not directly stated in the text: if the players visit Stitches at the med hut, they’ll be told about a bunch of sci-fi paperbacks on one of her shelves. If they then go to White-Eyes’ room they’ll find more books, and that’s the only other place on the farm where they show up - which even if the players forgot the books in the med hut or never visited Stitches, the fact that White-Eyes is blind should tip them off that someone’s been visiting her (and presumably reading to her, which is a clue to the nature of the relationship).

60. Tell me about a time your players surprised you or ruined your prep/plans!
When running Kidnap the Archpriest years ago, one of my players (new to RPGs at the time) barreled into the gatehouse immediately and the alarm was raised right then and there. I didn’t really have enough experience or wherewithal in the moment to roll with that punch. The entire session basically collapsed right there.

61. Tell me about the moon(s) in the sky. What are some beliefs associated with 'em?

  • There’s a demon that lives on the moon that curses women with menstruation as revenge for some past heroine or goddess getting one over on them.
  • There used to be seven moons, but the dragon Bakunawa ate six of them before being defeated by the gods.
  • Wizards faked the moon landing, which then spurred other wizards to land on it for real due to the one-upmanship inherent in academic vendettas.
  • The moon is hollow, and Hell is located inside it.
  • The moon is inhabited by bat-winged men who live in sapphire palaces.
  • The moon is the corpse of Theia, the earth goddess’ twin sister
  • The moon divorced the ocean and married the sun; the ocean still pines for her.
  • The moon is the severed head of Ganda, the first giant.


62. What "something" wouldn't be in your game if it weren't for the players?
I don’t have any good examples off the dome, though I maintain a “if the player wants something in the game, put it in (or the closest available analogue)” policy.

63. What are 10 new things that you put on your equipment lists for purchase?
I think that shopping in rpgs is by and large a waste of time that should be abolished. If players want something not on the list they can tell me “hey I would like to buy X” and we can go from there. 

64. What are 6 things one might encounter on the way to the nearest dungeon?

  1. Makeshift graves of some unlucky delvers, none more than a year or two old. One has recently been disrupted by a wild animal or monster.
  2. A peddler of trinkets, tokens, relics, charms, patent medicines, assorted esoteric knick-knacks, and anything else that might be of interest to a delver looking for a bit of extra spiritual protection.
  3. The corpse of some alien entity of the chaotic true depths; it managed to reach the surface, but died from the spiritual influence of the sun before it could cover two-hundred paces. Neither scavengers nor decomposers will touch it.
  4. A goblin community, packing up camp and preparing to move onward now that they’ve been driven out from their home in the dungeon by another faction
  5. Abandoned excavation equipment from a failed attempt to quarry out the structure.
  6. Heads on stakes, left as a warning.


65. What are a few good tracks/traces for the most commonly encountered foes?

  • Goblins leave graffiti everywhere
  • Troll piss stinks to high heaven and they mark their territory with it
  • Ghouls leave behind the cracked-open bones of their meals
  • Orcs have distinct footprints (hobnailed boots with steel toes and rubberized treads)
  • Undead only smell of rot if they’ve been active for a while or if it was a slapdash job
  • Deep Ones naturally smell strongly of salt and fish
  • Some varieties of demon alter art and text by presence alone


66. What are five frivolous things adventurers can spend their gold on?

  1. Collectible figurines of popular characters
  2. Painstakingly-constructed dwarvish handicrafts
  3. Mayfly high fashion that falls apart as soon as it's taken off 
  4. A box that you put money into and get nothing out of. Maybe one day it’ll work…
  5. Hand-painted custom-order terro cards.


67. What are four legendary treasures one might search for in your game?

  1. The Four Tiger Sword - A blade forged in the hour, day, month, and year of the Tiger. Extremely effective against spiritual foes, but purposefully left unsharpened for symbolic reasons.
  2. The Claw - A palm-sized, teardrop-shaped sapphire reputed to have miraculous healing qualities. Belonged to an ancient prophet, currently in possession of migratory monastic order. Identified by a crescent-shaped flaw near its center.
  3. The Book of Ingenious Devices - A book outlining the construction and maintenance of a wide variety of mechanical tools and devices, both mundane and magical.
  4. Stopsvalinn - Heirloom buckler of a now-dissolved noble family; a rusted red octagon with blocky white symbols in an unknown script.

(Magical items in games are a field where I say less originality is better: they’re supposed to stand out and be important, recognizability or real-world antecedent can help emphasize that if used appropriately)

68. What are some common long-distance communication methods in your world?

  • Postal service (letters & packages; variable speed)
  • Troll stones (real-time voice; all users tormented by trolls providing live commentary)
  • The Murder of All Crows (letters & voice messages; fast; pay in carrion or sweetmeats)
  • Scrying (real-time voice & image; wizard-gated)


69. What are some deadly diseases/awful afflictions one might unfortunately catch?
You know, this is something I have never really contemplated before. Probably because “disease that’s interesting in an RPG” overlaps with “weird magical curse” in my head. Mundane diseases in RPGs are just mundane diseases and I don’t think “your character is feverish and shitting themselves and has to sit out this session” has much of a function in a game except for the (very useful) excuse for a missing player.

Anyway, Red Death and Black Fever would be my go-tos for in-universe historical epidemics, and then if I wanted to hit players with something specific I would probably just search the SCP wiki by tag and pick some highlights.

70. What are some interesting herbs/plants one might find foraging?
I’ve got a copy of Fungi of the Far Realms that I've never been able to use, so probably something from that.

71. What are some of your favorite resources or tools you use in your games?

Clocks are great, love a good clock. You can use ‘em to track damn near anything.

72. What are some unusual drugs/intoxicants in your setting?
I don't have a proper list, so I'd probably just crack open Esoteric Enterprises and use that. But liao is definitely an option: see through time and space, attract Hounds of Tindalos, all the hits. 

73. What are the best snacks you've found that work during a game?

I don’t have a standout best, but the worst would be the time in college when I was going to run a game, we all ordered Chinese food beforehand, and then I spent most of the evening in the bathroom choking on an insufficiently-chewed piece of General Tso’s chicken.

74. What could I bring to a game that would bribe the referee?
I don’t take bribes but I do appreciate offerings of food, previous entry notwithstanding.

75. What degree of "kitchen sink" or "gonzo" is acceptable in your games?
I like my settings to be pretty weird (understatement of the year) mashups of inspirations, but while they certainly qualify for both categories I don’t know if I’d use those terms myself. I’m all about the connective tissue that forms between elements of the setting, and kitchen sink / gonzo usually feel to me like all the weird stuff is just kind of free-floating around.

There’s bound to be a crashed spaceship somewhere, but it’s also going to be more on the hard-science side of the spectrum vs flying saucer, is what I’m trying to get at here.

Friday, February 27, 2026

Pokemon isn’t OSR (but I wish it was)

Warren over at Prismatic Wasteland recently made a post titled: “Pokemon is OSR”, and in the storied tradition of bloggers everywhere I am writing a response to say “the fuck are you talking about, man?” 

(note: Warren actively encouraged this)

To start, I am going to open with the ways that I think Pokemon could fit into the broad and increasingly dissolved umbrella category of OSR:

1. The damage calculation formula is the work of a madman

Using an over-complicated rule for one of the core verbs of the game isn’t OSR directly, but it is in line with the source material the OSR was based on. Actually, now that I say it, this is actually evidence that it isn’t OSR, because that formula hasn’t gotten any less insane in 3 decades.

2. Thirty years without meaningful change

OSR, not NSR. Pokemon the series is a self-devouring Soroboruo, eternally retreading the same ground with either minimal nonstructural change or immediately abandoned mechanical additions. There was a new Pokemon game announced yesterday and once again it’s another fire-water-grass trio. Fighting-psychic-dark is still right there. 

There's also the matter of fangames and spiritual successors, which I say are more OSR than the mainline because they're all about hacking the weird old kludged-together spaghetti-code of an elder game series and seeing what can be done with it in novel ways.

There’s the reasons for, here’s the reasons against as I see them:

1. Screaming into the Void

Pokemon battles don’t exist in a place. I think this is easily the most damning argument against their OSR-ness; the battle screen is a featureless void (or may as well be) that only takes into account the broadest environmental factors (weather) and simply doesn’t contain anything like positioning, cover, or environmental objects. There are no lasting effects on the environment after a battle. Creatures do not exist before or after the fight. There are ambushes, but not mechanical ones; a trainer might jump out from behind a tree or a rock, but that doesn’t have any impact on the fight. Pokemon battles are incredibly fair - a good quality in a game for children, not so much in a genre where the approach to combat is “cheat like a motherfucker with every tool at your disposal.”

2. 1-v1 me IRL

Further reducing the tactical considerations is the 1v1 default of most combats. Benched Pokemon can’t do anything, they have no active effect on the battle. If this was a dungeon crawl, it would be as if you were playing as a doppelganger flipping between impersonated adventurers on the fly (this is cool idea, gonna make a note of that); 2v2 battles and the long-abandoned 3v3s add “some moves can hit both enemies, and some can also hit your partner”, but there’s nothing beyond that in terms of what choices you are making in a given moment. Roles do not change during battle, non-battle actions can’t occur during battle, and you can’t coordinate the different members of your team into a cohesive unit. 

3. A Sequence of Repetitive STABbing Motions

Last of the issues in the battle system is Pokemon’s default winning strategy: you spam a high-damage move with Same Type Attack Bonus at anything not resistant to it until the bar hits zero. Surf, Earthquake, Crunch, Flamethrower, Psychic, Icebeam, game, set, match. This only gets shaken up when variant rules are thrown in (Battle Frontier) or you’re playing against your local psychopaths I mean competitive Pokemon players. Maybe sometimes you’ll use a status effect, or end up using something off the wall, but for nearly every fight in the game it’s just a DPS race.

4. A World of Limited Applications

But what about outside of battle? There are, according to Bulbapedia, 19 field moves, which can then sort into the following categories:

  • Obstacle removal: Cut, Rock Smash, Strength
  • Movement: Fly, Surf, Dig, Dive, Teleport, Rock Climb, Whirlpool, Waterfall 
  • Healing: Softboiled, Milk Drink 
  • Encounter Triggers: Sweet Scent, Headbutt
  • Environmental: Flash, Defog, Secret Power
  • Teaching your Chatot curse words: Chatter

Two of these have appeared in only one generation, and two more have appeared in one generation and its remake. They are quite limited in terms of their effects, with each move being applicable in one specific scenario each. (Strength can only be used to move rocks, you cannot pick up a car and use it as an improvised weapon, for example) Several are essentially slightly-modified reskins of each other. 

Early generations required the use of the “HM slave”, the pokemon you dumped all the field moves onto so as not to waste slots on your A-team; later games have gotten rid of this with just allowing you to use it at any time so long as the HM is unlocked; neither system allows for any usage outside of the predetermined pacing and location. 

5. Random encounters are one cool thing and 99 stupid birds

It feels good to stumble on a rare Pokemon while out in the wild; every other encounter is nothing. A fight with a wild pokemon contains no meaningful interaction with the world - there are no factions who will take notice, no spoils to take home: unless you catch something useful, you get some XP and that’s it. The drain on your resources will be minimal, since a type advantage + level parity basically means you’ll be 1 and 2 shotting everything, and you likely have more than enough ethers to get to the next town (or you can just fly back to a Pokemon Center at no cost to you.) 

 

But What if it Was...

So, if you wanted to make Pokemon OSR-ish, how could it be done?  I’ve got some ideas.

Most of these are going to involve re-doing the movelist.

  • Give every Pokemon an inherent basic attack that upgrades its damage die as they gain experience. All the flat upgrade moves (Scratch and Slash, for example) are now the same move, separated by type and physical/special as appropriate.
  • Attacks that trade self-damage or lower accuracy for higher damage are now just mechanics that you can invoke whenever (Take Down is merged with the Tackle series, Fire Blast is merged with Ember-Flamethrower)
  • Most status moves can be kept; most stat changing moves will probably be tossed 
  • We now comb through the adjusted list and see which ones have a clear use-case outside of battle. If one isn’t obvious but we can make up something for it, still works.
  • Merge and dump moves until satisfied; ideally, only a few of the most basic attacks will have no additional use-cases, and even then that’s what rulings are for.
  • For funsies, start incorporating Pokedex entries

This will solve most of the issues I listed above - the environmental aspects are solved by moving it out of a video game and into the theater of the mind where you have multiple players and an environment to interact with.

One final note: if we’re doing OSR Pokemon, it's going to inevitably become OSR Shin Megami Tensei. We've got the Ars Goetia and the Gazu Hyakki Yagyō right there.

Also you don't need a dedicated class, these are just wizards and their spell weasels. 

Saturday, February 14, 2026

What do people know about the Mythos? Part 2

Picking up from where we last left off.

Tlācayoh

A headless spirit, said to have been born from the anger of a woman murdered by her wicked husband for trying to escape with her lover. While frightening, she is depicted as a neutral or even helpful figure so long as she is treated respectfully. Petitioners will occasionally receive direct aid from her in the killing or cursing of abusive fathers or husbands.

The Classical Nahuatl name listed above is a compound of tlācatl (“human being”) and the suffix -yoh (“made of, full of, covered in”).


n!Kai

A hapax legemenon, claimed to be the name of a legendary subterranean city in the journals of an anonymous Franciscan friar writing in New Mexico province c. 1680. The friar claims to have heard the term from the local Pueblo in reference to a mythic underworld reserved for monstrous creatures and humans who have transformed into them, but this is not substantiated by either Spanish or indigenous sources. The brief description of the word’s pronunciation is sufficient enough to identify an alveolar nasal click; no known language of the Americas, extant or historical, features click consonants of any kind.


The Slave Market at Dylath-Leen

An 1874 painting by artist and professional dilettante Sir Calvin Halsey that is nothing short of a crowning achievement in how many orientalist stereotypes one can fit onto a single canvas. It depicts a short, dark-skinned and narrow-faced man with an orange turban pacing through a moonlit plaza, inspecting the unclothed bodies of a line of captive women. Cloven feet and the tufts of furry ankles peek out from beneath the man’s silk robes and an opium pipe smolders in his ringed and jeweled hand.

Draft sketches of the painting were discovered by chance in 1996, revealing that the slaver had undergone significant revisions in design; the first iteration was an unclothed, rotund, furry creature with a flat face, wide mouth, short horns, enormous ears and six eyes, described by one art historian as “the cousin that Ewoks buy their meth from”.


The Venus of Boncuklu Tarla

8cm black granite figurine of an obese, masturbating woman. The announcement of its discovery in 2018 was immediately beset by controversy on all fronts:

  • The discovery was neither announced nor verified by the Mardin Museum, which oversees excavations at the site.
  • The discovery was published in the Journal of Truth-Centered Archaeology and Anthropology, which regularly espouses fringe and conspiratorial theories of human history.
  • While the Pre-Pottery Neolithic B culture would potentially have had the means to shape granite with flint or emery, it is unlikely that they could do so with such precision and realistic proportion at such a small scale.

All together, the figure is considered a modern forgery. But, while she failed to revolutionize archaeology, she has gained some small online fame both for the expected reasons, and for triggering the Twitter meltdown and resignation of the Journal's head editor after the Venus was depicted in fanart as a protestor against UK gender-essentialist legistlation.


Tablet 65

Fragmentary Akkadian-era cuneiform tablet describing an exorcism performed on a man that had started eating the dead and speaking in their voices, and who had only been captured after the killing and consumption of a six-year-old boy. The lack of formality in the text indicates that the text was a private missive, but beyond the address of the recipient as “my brother priest of Nanna-Sin” there’s no identifying information present for either party. The author asks for guidance, feeling that he is unfit to continue in his office, as well as aid with a matter obscured by a lacuna in the text. 


H.P. Lovecraft

A prolific but forgotten-in-his-time writer of gothic fantasy and historical romance stories, who gained post-mortem fame when he was used as a shared pen-name by over two dozen science fiction authors as the center point of an elaborate metafictional shared universe / comedic bit.


Bigfoot (Austrolopithicus gigantus pattersoni)

A descendent of the robust austrolopith lineage, averaging 6-8 feet tall. Migrated out of Africa ~2 mya and underwent relatively rapid gigantism to adapt to the Tibetan Plateau and northeastern Siberia, with populations migrating to the Americas through Beringia ~100 - 80 KYA. Driven to extinction by arrival of H.  sapiens, with the most recent remains dated to ~11 KYA.


History of the Kings of the Divs

1868 French 'translation' of a supposed Classical Persian text detailing the sordid three-thousand year-long political history of the demonic dynasties of Mazandaran (separate from the Iranian province of the same name) and culminating in the defeat of Div-e Sepid by the hero Rostam. 

While near-certainly a modern invention (no source text or substantiating manuscripts have ever emerged), the author was at least familiar with the Shahnameh and had a solid grasp of the language. With that factored in, it is a surprisingly solid fantasy epic filled with grotesque monsters, daring-do, a crumbling empire, wicked sorcerer-viziers, and mild-to-moderate period-appropriate racism.


Tape #53 (08-14-76)

8-track cassette tape recording of a conversation overheard by amateur radio enthusiast Charles “Chuck” Angstrom of Coconino County, Arizona sometime between 1:30 and 3:00 AM on August 14th, 1976.

The six-minute conversation, spoken entirely in Navajo, consists of four men (callsigns Bear, Fox, Owl, and Turtle), coordinating the hunt of a presumably-rabid coyote. All four speakers use both conversational and coded speech, indicating that at least one of them had been trained as a code talker.

The original 8-track cassette was in poor condition at the time its contents were digitized by Charles’ son in 2007; much of the conversation is difficult to understand even for native speakers, and several sections have yet to be deciphered. The tape ends mid-conversation with Owl saying “Two, no, three up ahead. Yeah, three of them,” followed by the slam of a car door.


The Pohnpeian Mermaid

Daguerreotype of a hairless, fish-tailed hominid, taken in 1852 by missionary Laurence Douglas  in situ on the shoreline where it was discovered. Subject appears deceased. Douglas later wrote in his journal that he believed the being to be pregnant, and he gave it a Christian burial in an undisclosed location on the island rather than let the corpse be burned per the wishes of the local Pohnpeians.


Sagart & Carey Plastics

A small plastics manufacturing company headquartered in Jackson’s Hole, Wisconsin. Made national news in March of 2023, when a DEA raid turned into a 3-hour long siege and gunfight. An estimated 60-80 employees escaped the premises and remain at large.


Aihoat

Signature monster of the 1973 horror movie God In the Labyrinth - a many-legged and many-eyed off-white blob inhabiting a seemingly endless maze outside normal time and space (see: Navidson Tapes). The effects aren’t great, but the puppeteer and cameraman do their best with the resources they have. The film is somewhat infamous in cult horror circles for the suicide of the writer-director during editing, with the last three sequences prior to his death being the “tunnel chase”, “human pens” and “Cistine (sic) chapel contact”.

At the end of the film, it is revealed that Aihoat’s luring of humans into its maze and subsequent implantation of parasitoid larva is the monster’s attempt to preserve some of humanity against nuclear war. The surviving characters are offered a choice: live as a zombified host for Aihoat’s larva, try to survive on their own in the labyrinth and find other survivors, or brave a return to the now-irradiated surface. The film ends before choice is made.


“The Majestic 12”

Informal name for a group of US Air Force officials affiliated with Project Blue Book and the investigation of unidentified flying organisms.


First and Last Dynasty of Mu

1974 science-fantasy novel by Alphonse Lowe about the collapse of the titular lost continent’s royal family. One is unlikely to find a more corrupt collection of incestuous backstabbers than this horrid lot, and Lowe revels in the grossout horror of it all to a degree most modern readers would find concerning.


The Harvestman

Urban legend: a gigantic arachnid that, when seen at a distance and under low light conditions, appears as an exceptionally tall human with obscured or blank facial features. Also called “Mr. Long Legs”.


Point Nemo Anomalous Exclusion Zone

An 850 km diameter no-sail, no-fly zone maintained around the oceanic pole of inaccessibility. The cordon began as an American endeavor (with support from the United Nations) in 1962, with Soviet ships present under the Nautilus Treaty from 1972 to 1979.

No verifiable information has been produced regarding the purpose of the cordon or the Zone’s contents. Photographs taken from the ISS and leaked to the press in 2006, if not doctored, indicate an island in the center of the Zone that is otherwise not accounted for in public-facing satellite imagery.

All civilian attempts to breach the cordon have been rebuffed with force.


The Cruel Empire of Tsan-Chan

An early roleplaying game in the vein of Dungeons and Dragons, set in a tyrannical sci-fantasy empire of far-future Earth. While never particularly popular, the novel setting attracted a small and dedicated fan base until posthumous revelations that its author had kidnapped and imprisoned a woman in his basement for over a decade before burying her dismembered body on his property. 


The Navidson Tapes

Handheld camcorder footage chronicling  the discovery and exploration of a featureless, lightless and seemingly-infinite labyrinth within the home of a man who introduces himself as “Will Navidson”. Five copies of the tape were found in storage at the University of Richmond’s film department in the fall of 2000, leading most to assume that it is either an abandoned student film or an elaborate hoax; None of the persons in the film have been identified due to intentional face-blurring of all involved parties, though the place and time of shooting have been narrowed down to Virginia in the spring of 1990. 

Ixion

15 Jupiter-mass brown dwarf orbiting at a distance of 1.68 light years from the Sun, discovered by the Wide-Field Infrared Survey Explorer in 2011. This discovery spawned a wave of panic among the public due to its similarities with the Nemesis hypothesis and it was immediately tied to apocalyptic theories regarding the end of the Mayan long count calendar in 2012; the available evidence does not support its involvement in a mass-extinction cycle on Earth, but subsequent observations have confirmed at least two major moons, the larger of which is estimated at 0.84 - 1.2 Earth masses. Unmanned missions to Ixion have been proposed, but have been judged unfeasible by multiple space agencies given the time cost.

 

The Gollynack

Urban legend emerging in the mid-80s nightclub scene of southwest England with a core narrative as follows:

A woman returning home alone after a night out is stalked and then attacked by a man (usually described as a serial rapist and murderer escaped from a nearby prison or mental institution) who pursues her into an abandoned house. Cornered in the cellar, the woman decapitates her attacker with an axe and buries the still-moving body behind an unfinished brick wall. There the killer transforms into a flabby, headless monster with mouths in its palms that incites victims of its influence to acts of violence and sexual depravity (though stories differ on whether the creature’s influence forces its victims to act, or simply encourages tendencies that were already present.)

The creature’s popularity has remained relatively consistent over time, thanks to the Aristocrats-style one-upmanship that flows naturally from the premise, but has never been particularly high for the same reason.

 

Liao

Opium derivative encountered by American troops during the Vietnam War, predominantly in the highlands by the Laotian border. Users commonly report highly distorted perception of time and hallucinations of threatening entities; additional effects include extreme paranoia, an irrational fear of man-made enclosed spaces, and seizures triggered by sustained observation of right angles, all of which may persist after the drug’s other effects have worn off.

Copycat street drugs (Reverb, Black Lotus, Dog’s Paw,  Picasso, etc) have occasionally surfaced in the United States since the 1970s; these have thus far all been invocations of liao’s mysterious reputation applied to ordinary and often adulterated heroin, LSD, or ecstasy.


Crom

Celtic name of unclear provenance; known only from a single Primitive Irish inscription along the blade of a bone knife found alongside the body of Gallagh Man II: “By Crom (this thing) is done”. 

Scholars are divided as to whether the name is in reference to a deity or a human figure, and further divided as to whether it is related to Old Irish cromb (“bent, stooped”), the PIE root *ker- (“host, warband”), or a substrate borrowing.


Liber Ivonis

Purported pre-Roman grimoire, though no copies can be dated to earlier than the 1620 Venetian manuscript. It was predictably banned from publication by the church and later elevated as a core text by the 19th century occult revival, despite its actual contents being a biting and unsubtle satire of European esotericism. The egomaniacal, bloviating Hyperborean’s increasingly absurd attempts at avoiding his creditors, compounded with his repeated failure to accomplish any of the fantastic feats he claims to be able to do and the total indifference of the spiritual entities he encounters, make for a remarkably funny book even 4 centuries after it was written. The trip to Saturn episode in particular has earned the text a spot in many histories of science fiction.


The Witch House of Keziah Mason

Tourist attraction in Arkham, Massachusetts; a supposedly cursed house that once sheltered the witch Keziah Mason as she fled execution in Salem. While all signs point to the Mason narrative as a fabrication to draw in tourists, the house was the centerpoint of the very well-documented 1928 kidnapping and killing of 7-month old Bernard Hamm by Walter Gilman, a graduate student of mathematics at Miskatonic University. Gilman was judged unfit to stand trial due to insanity, and died shortly afterward in the Arkham Sanitarium.