Friday, April 3, 2020

A Patreon Update and Unicorn Meat!

Hey so, I have changed things up over on my patreon and switched out the old Grab-Bag posts with access to my drafts folder, where all my projects-in-progress will go. This is open to all backers at all levels.

So far, there are two in there:

#1 - Lighthouse 0.2 rules are go!

This is mostly an outline expanding on the ideas I put together in the first post for now, but it has all the major headings I want to flesh out and will be filled in as we go along in this plague-stricken hell timeline. I hope to have a major update worth talking about every month for it


It's an ashcan draft - playtested but not edited beyond my own doing and some commentary from helpful blogfriends. It's rough to look at and there's nary a page number or internal hyperlink to be seen, but it's feature-complete as far as words go.

Unicorn Meat has been a regular victim of a whole host of executive dysfunctions and anxieties, and frankly I am rather ashamed over how long I have stretched it out with no progress / ghosted on people after a short burst of enthusiasm last summer. I'm still working on overcoming that part of myself.

But here is the text, and the text is done. You can get it and play it for a dollar if you want. I'll do my best to chip away at this leviathan in my head piece by piece until it is completed. If you do end up playing it, hit me up on twitter or discord and let me know how it went.

"I do not know what Unicorn Meat is, please elucidate"

Unicorn Meat is a horror module I wrote about a factory farm in the monster-infested backwood swamps where kidnapped children hunt and kill unicorns for the profit of distant masters. But now the taskmasters have vanished and the carvergirls of Sunny Smiles Unicorn Farm have been left to the mercy of the swamps. These are your PCs.

It's LISA the Painful + Lord of the Flies + True Detective S1 - which is to say, make sure you let folks know what they are getting into if you run it.

It's a rough beast slouching towards Bethlehem to be born, but it's mine. I made it. And after all the shit we've all had to wade through today, yesterday, this week month year half decade, I'll take that little victory.

I'll keep you posted on further updates.


  1. I don't know what spurred this, but I am glad it was spurred.

  2. God man what an incredible line!

    "It's a rough beast slouching towards Bethlehem to be born, but it's mine."

  3. "Come, unicorn," she said. "Lay your head in my lap, if you like."

    The unicorn made a whinny, and pawed again with his hoof. Then, very carefully, he went down first on one knee and then on the other, till he was bowing in front of her. He looked up at her from this position, with his melting eyes, and at last laid his head upon her knee. He stroked his flat, white cheek against the smoothness of her dress, looking at her beseechingly. The whites of his eyes rolled with an upward flash. He settled his hind quarters coyly, and lay still, looking up. His eyes brimmed with trustfulness, and he lifted his near fore in a gesture of pawing. It was a movement in the air only, which said, "Now attend to me. Give me some love. Stroke my mane, will you, please?"

    There was a choking noise from Agravaine in the ambush, and at once he was rushing toward the unicorn, with the sharp boar-spear in his hands. The other boys squatted upright on their heels, watching him.

    Agravaine came to the unicorn, and began jabbing his spear into its quarters, into its slim belly, into its ribs. He squealed as he jabbed, and the unicorn looked to Meg in anguish. It leaped and moved suddenly, still looking at her reproachfully, and Meg took its horn in one hand. She seemed entranced, unable to help it. The unicorn did not seem able to move from the soft grip of her hand on its horn. The blood, caused by Agravaine's spear, spurted out upon the blue-white coat of hair.

    Gareth began running, with Gawaine close after him. Gaheris came last, stupid and not knowing what to do.

    "Don't!" cried Gareth. "Leave him alone. Don't! Don't!"

    Gawaine came up, just as Agravaine's spear went in under the fifth rib. The unicorn shuddered. He trembled in all his body, and stretched his hind legs out behind. They went out almost straight, as if he were doing his greatest leap—and then quivered, trembling in the agony of death. All the time his eyes were fixed on Meg's eyes, and she still looked down at his.

    - Queen of Air and Darkness, TH White