Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Random Fantasy Christ Figure Generator Tables

During the days of the...

  1. Twin Emperors of the Pyremount
  2. Twelve Golden Lawgivers
  3. Fourth Age of the Ouroborous Queen
  4. Warring States of Tiamat (Interregnum Period)
  5. Blessed Age of Eclipse
  6. Plutocracy of Unified Guilds
  7. Chaos that Came from the West
  8. Dukes Without Death
  9. Intrapelagic Republic
  10. Star Empire


  1. There was famine and flooding in the low country.
  2. The accords of suzerainty were completed.
  3. The bloody revolution had sputtered to its final end.
  4. The Red Death had killed near a quarter of the population.
  5. The engines of industry had made tight their death-grip.
  6. The Order of Moral Restoration had declared their new codes.
  7. The economic depression had dragged itself into a second decade.
  8. There was unrest and protest against the corruption of the government
  9. The armies of a foreign power had intervened by force.
  10. The nation was divided amongst itself by bitter and pointless war.

There emerged...

  1. Someone of background unknown even to the people of the day.
  2. The elected chief of the offshore leper colony.
  3. A runaway monastic novice.
  4. A noble heir who rejected his wealth and birthright.
  5. A minor member of the scribal caste.
  6. An ex-soldier, back from the front in the Black Glacier
  7. A foundling, raised in the smoke-spewing poorhouse.
  8. A servant of a minor noble house.
  9. A reformed highwayman.
  10. An itinerant laborer.

Seeking to reform the tenets and practices of the...

  1. Meat Chorus
  2. Reverence of the Raven-Angel, thief of the sun
  3. Chaos-meditation precepts of Whirling-Without-Aim
  4. Carcinogenic Communion of Undying Love
  5. Witnesses of the Thousand-Eyed Blind One
  6. Calculation of the Great Unseen Plan
  7. Dreams of the Leviathans
  8. Mysteries of the Sacred Beating Heart of Gorm
  9. Rites of the Vanished Ancestors, Returned to the Stars
  10. The United Association of Mystery Religions

Notable among their disciples were...

  1. Members of the untouchable caste.
  2. The abandoned Butterfly Harem of the deposed hierarch.
  3. Galley slaves of the swamp-armada.
  4. The working poor of the City of Tears
  5. Student anti-military protestors.
  6. Refugees spilling over from a neighboring nation.
  7. A band of mysterious travelers from distant lands.
  8. Members of another, often-reviled religion
  9. Delvers and dungeon-dwellers; swyvers, hobos and grave-robbers
  10. The Icthyociders' Union

And some said that they...

  1. Burst a star apart with a gesture.
  2. Healed the lead-poisoned infants of the Downriver Quarter.
  3. Raised the plague-decimated herds of the mountain shepherds.
  4. Warmed a hearth through winter with a single piece of coal.
  5. Survived an assassin's bullet through the heart.
  6. Cast out demons of brain, heart, and stomach.
  7. Could restore barren fields to life.
  8. Could speak with the beasts and trees and rocks.
  9. Fasted and prayed for 108 days.
  10. Turned gold into water.

And that...

  1. They spoke only through a trusted interpreter.
  2. Were accompanied always by their mother and siblings.
  3. Knew more of medicine than the greatest doctors.
  4. In time did not need to eat at all.
  5. Wept for three days upon the death of their beloved hound.
  6. Had suffered a disfiguring illness as a child.
  7. Their closest disciple was a disgraced carnifex.
  8. They had ridden upon a golden barge.
  9. A previous marriage had ended in tragedy.
  10. There was another.

But in time they angered those in power. They were executed...

  1. Hung by a silken cord from a sycamore tree.
  2. By beheading, just before the dawn.
  3. On the pyre, alongside dozens of their disciples.
  4. By exposure, strung up in a gibbet by the bitter winter coast.
  5. By firing squad, in front of a great crowd.
  6. Poisoned. Some claim they chose this, others say it was forced upon them.
  7. Torn apart by hyenas starved in the area.
  8. By means of a torturous mechanism.
  9. By means of live burial, deep in the Paupers' Ossuary.
  10. By vanishment, and are presumed to have died in prison.

And afterwards...

  1. Without its spiritual center and lacking solid leadership, the movement dies out within a generation.
  2. The reforms caught on with some prominent religious authorities. The movement was absorbed into its parent religious group with little fanfare
  3. The movement thrived for a little while, but was eventually out-competed by more evangelical faiths and is a historical footnote today.
  4. A second charismatic leader emerges, transforming the movement by hybridizing it with their own teachings and background.
  5. The movement is adopted as state religion by a major power. It thrives and is transformed accordingly, for good and ill.
  6. The movement inspired many others to build upon the legacy left behind.
  7. The movement remains a thriving religious minority to this day.
  8. The movement settles down into a widespread and stable religion of its own and has remained such.
  9. The movement is formalized in a series of bloody religious wars some generations after its founding.
  10. The movement has grown to be a religious majority in lands beyond its founding.


  1. Inspired by a post by Michael Kennedy.

    1. Interested in the provenance of this post: who is Michael Kennedy?

    2. A good friend who blogs over at

  2. Is it weird that I read this in that 'movie trailer announcer' voice?

  3. A ridiculous notion! How can uou be a proper Christ figure if you don't have a resurrection (can be symbolic) or at least a disappearance under mysterious circumstances, with the promide of a triumphant eventual return!


  4. That was fun, almost a mini-game in itself! Here's what I got...

    During the days of the Twelve Golden Lawgivers when The Red Death had killed near a quarter of the population, there emerged An itinerant labourer seeking to reform the tenets and practices of the United Association of Mystery Religions.
    Notable among their disciples were...Members of the untouchable caste, and some said that they burst a star apart with a gesture, and that they wept for three days upon the death of their beloved hound.

    But in time they angered those in power. They were executed by means of live burial, deep in the Paupers' Ossuary. Since then the movement has been formalized in a series of bloody religious wars some generations after its founding.