Thursday, May 10, 2018

What's This Fishman Excited About?

I've been recently alerted to one of the unsung high points of 5e by a fellow I was talking to on Discord.

It's this piece of art.

Look at this fishman. He's not just excited, he is downright hyped up. This is a fishman on a mission. He's got shit to do and he's gonna do it.

What is he excited about?

  1. Just got a new fightstick and a copy of Dragon Sphere Warriors X!
  2. The Squamous Overlord just gave me a raise!
  3. She said yes!
  4. Just got the gills cleaned! 
  5. The really good food flakes are on sale!
  6. Water's warm and filled with oxygen! 
  7. New season of Something and Something was announced!
  8. Local Sports Team just clobbered Rival Sports Team!
  9. Gonna spend all day caring for the coral garden!
  10. Tax return just came in!
  11. Didn't get eaten by a squid!
  12. It's spawning season!

What fish is the fishman's head?

  1. Clownfish
  2. Angelfish
  3. Catfish
  4. Piranha
  5. Wobbegong
  6. Arowana
  7. Lionfish
  8. Blue Tang
  9. Lanternfish
  10. Fugu
  11. Sockeye Salmon
  12. Fishstick

What strange delusions does the fishman adore?

  1. The world is not only flat, but also hollow! It's so cool!
  2. Waketrails! They're caused by boats and filled with drugs! Really great drugs!
  3. Chemicals in the water are turning everyone into gay communists! That's great!
  4. The government is listening to everything we say! That's so considerate of them!
  5. This calendar lines up directly with the end of the world! It's so convenient!
  6. There are subliminal demonic messages in our media! It's like a scavenger hunt!
  7. Wizards faked the entire moon! What craftsmanship!
  8. I don't know how vaccines work! What a delightful mystery!
  9. The sponge-masons are behind it all! They're so good at being sneaky!
  10. Whales are building a new world order under their iron flipper! I love their gumption!
  11. The evil empire stole flying saucers from Atlantis! Wow!
  12. Time has four sides! Nature is so beautiful!


  1. This is also a convenient character generator for all your fishman player character needs.

  2. Love the fishman's positive attitude.

    Lizard-men are controlling our government! Such a breakthrough for a previously oppressed and disparaged demographic!

    The people protesting Tragedy X are actors! They were disgusted by the horrific atrocity and decided to put their social capital to good use!

    The government has developed a liquid fuel that can melt steel beams! Profound implications for metallurgy and industry!

  3. TIME CUBE! I thought I had escaped you!

  4. I don't know why I didn't comment when this was first posted. I love it so much.