Thursday, October 19, 2017

1d20 Hordes of Monstrous Humanoids

From Blood Bowl 2

  1. The last homo diluvii striking out in desperate, futile raids against the dominance of homo sapiens. They cannot fully comprehend what is happening to them.
  2. Creatures born of battlefield mud under a full moon, wearing tattered armor and wielding rusted blades. Marching songs like dirges on the riverbanks.
  3. Wild pigs that gained a taste for man’s flesh, and with it, a taste of man’s power. They have learned cruelty for its own sake.
  4. Eugenic eunuchs, educated by the finest imperial tutors and refined by years of courtly training. Their legions keep impeccable records of the dead and tallies of the maimed, to be discussed over immaculate tea ceremonies.
  5. An ancient army of men reduced to pallid corpse-eaters. They were cursed to wage their war forever by the wizard they cast down from his keep.
  6. Fleshy-faced hirsutes from the deep jungles. They do not wish to shed blood, but they know they must; if they did not, their gods would lack the vital essence required to fight off the serpents from beyond the stars that seek to devour all the world.
  7. Television heads, filled with static and shriveled and seizing black worms.
  8. Humans with a variant strain of toxoplasmosis guiding their sword-hands. They worship cats, and sacrifice their fellow man in exchange for feline favor. The cats know this, and approve of it.
  9. Men changed utterly under the open sky of the tundra. They have carved out chunks of their own frontal lobes; Only by returning to apes, they believe, may we save the world from the decadence of civilization.
  10. Red chitin armor, jaws that split into a dozen toothy fingers, black eyes the size of fists, weapons that shoot streams of fire. Anachronistic and illogical, the result of someone in the future changing the past.
  11. Skin like a raw bruise, great vents spitting steam, misshapen limbs out of alignment. Born psychically from anger and hate.
  12. Demons like harlequins, or the other way around. Herds cavort across the savanna alongside their elephantine brood-mothers.
  13. Obsidian bodies, bladelike and ever-fracturing. Mute beyond a distant thrum. They just want to give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be okay. They will not be dissuaded.
  14. Disenfranchised youth, radicalized salarymen, sportsball hooligans.
  15. Iron-masked men descending from floating castles. Can only seem to communicate through grunts and screams. Wear fine gold and blue silks and wield silver swords.
  16. Wasteland mutants, radioactive oozes leaking from deformed bodies. They are willing to trade for resources, but they won’t take no to an answer. Survival trumps diplomacy.
  17. Yellow-green skin pulled too tight over their bones, moving in reverse time: running backwards at you at full speed, coming from a destination they must reach with all haste.
  18. Biological war machine, the castaway of an interstellar war. Builders long dead, keeps building soldiers, can’t turn itself off.
  19. Giant, tusked hermaphrodites with pangolin shells. March under white flags. Will not fight, will just stamp in and take what they want.
  20. Bull-footed, eagle-winged, lion-maned, man-faced. Fire-wreathed soldiers sent to cull the sinful. Gods are confused, no one asked for this.


  1. Is there any filler greater than the random table? (No, there isn't.)

  2. This looks like five different campaigns all smashed into each other, and reality imploded, before everything reset, leaving us with one meta-universe that contained all elements.

    It is magnificent.

    1. You have accurately described my design philosophy.

  3. I think these types of monsters are some of the best to find written up. Great post!