Sunday, January 30, 2022

Build Your Own Shonen Battle Series


Roll as many times as you like, I don't dictate your life

What Color Is The Naruto?

  1. Red
  2. Orange
  3. Yellow
  4. Green (dark)
  5. Green (light)
  6. Sky blue
  7. Indigo
  8. Purple
  9. Lavender
  10. Pink
  11. White
  12. Black
  13. Brown (dark)
  14. Brown (light)
  15. Umber
  16. Amber
  17. Octarine
  18. Jale
  19. Ulfire
  20. Dolm

 

What Is the Power Source?

  1. Devil pacts
  2. Ninjutsu
  3. Normal-ass magic
  4. RPG mechanics but in the real world
  5. Magical martial arts
  6. Mundane martial arts
  7. Magic swords
  8. Normal swords
  9. Tarot magic
  10. Magic ghosts
  11. Magic animal spirits
  12. Cyborg bullshit
  13. GUN
  14. Supernatural patron entities
  15. Raw willpower reshaping reality
  16. Incredibly complex qi gong system
  17. Children's card games
  18. Summoned battle-parters (robots, dolls, monsters, etc)
  19. Mecha
  20. Nothing. It's basically shonen pub fights


Setting

  1. Ordinary high school
  2. A different ordinary high school
  3. Magical high school
  4. Oh god it's another high school
  5. They're coming through the goddamn walls
  6. holy shit
  7. fuck
  8. Post-apocalyptic wasteland
  9. Alternate-universe
  10. Japanese countryside (modern)
  11. Japanese countryside (historical)
  12. Somewhere in the real world that is not Japan (modern or historical)
  13. Sometime in the past
  14. Sometime in the future
  15. Deep space
  16. Near space
  17. Inner space
  18. Vaguely-defined megastructure
  19. Recycled backgrounds from a failed isekai
  20. Elaborate fantasy world revolving entirely around whatever social class has the powers and does the fighting.


Aesthetic

  1. Realistic, mostly
  2. Magical girl
  3. Gonzogrot excess
  4. Cyberpunk
  5. Solarpunk
  6. Techno-gothic
  7. Duct tape and a prayer
  8. Ink and watercolor
  9. Superdeformed
  10. Incredibly detailed
  11. Very simplistic
  12. Western comics
  13. Very unique house style
  14. Everyone is gorgeous, all the time
  15. Those chins are sharp enough to open cans with
  16. Huge eyes, even huger hair
  17. Experimental as hell in places
  18. Woof, this did not age well you can count each cut corner
  19. Has aged like fine wine
  20. Dada surrealism


Side Characters

  1. Laconic, superpowered teacher
  2. Edgy loner rival
  3. BEEFSTRONK
  4. Absolutely too pure for this world
  5. The bookworm
  6. The genki one
  7. The one with no powers, who gets by with other means
  8. That one motherfucker you're amazed hasn't been arrested for harassment yet
  9. The hero's mom
  10. Boisterous and over-the-top himbo
  11. The hero's sibling
  12. Love interest - next - door
  13. The mysterious foreigner
  14. The loaner from a different school/organization
  15. By the book! ONLY BY THE BOOK!
  16. The really hot one
  17. The unexpected combat expert
  18. The lazy one
  19. The crazy one
  20. The lovable idiot duo


Positives

  1. Kickass fight scenes
  2. OP / ED slaps
  3. Surprisingly good characterization
  4. Surprisingly in-depth worldbuilding
  5. Monster designs
  6. Compelling villain
  7. Good side characters
  8. Keeps a steady pace
  9. Avoids harmful stereotypes
  10. Meaningful stakes
  11. Makes chuds angry
  12. Fanservice (the good kind)
  13. God that's some good sakuga
  14. Excellent dub
  15. Pulled off a successful major status quo change / timeskip
  16. Author is actually a pretty cool person
  17. The humor actually translated over
  18. Has some meaningful things to say about real life
  19. Keen eye for scene composition
  20. Nothing in this plot makes sense, and I love it


Negatives

  1. Filler
  2. Too many characters
  3. Bonkers morality
  4. Rampant sexism
  5. Just looks bad to watch
  6. Lost the plot (jumped shark, spun wheels, etc)
  7. Too by the book / too safe
  8. Most annoying character in the world
  9. Bland main character
  10. Character death (cheap)
  11. Is never going to actually end
  12. Obnoxious fanbase
  13. Fanservice (the creepy kind)
  14. Impossible to find / stream
  15. Author has an obvious kink and is real weird about it
  16. Author is actually a horrid person
  17. I literally can't tell these characters apart
  18. Pretensions of grandeur with a failing grade in intro to philosophy
  19. Just up and forgets the background a lot of the time
  20. Nothing in this plot makes sense, and it's terrible


Other Features

  1. Tournament Arc
  2. Main character rivalry
  3. Weird laser focus on one particular hobby or topic the author likes
  4. Shit has gone FUBAR Arc
  5. Romantic subplot (actually pretty good)
  6. Romantic subplot (groan inducing)
  7. Harem of some vareity
  8. No arcs; mostly episodic
  9. They lost the originals so there's no proper blu-ray release
  10. Ha ha! You thought X was the main villain, it was in fact Y!
  11. There's an elaborate fan theory that makes the whole thing make a lot more sense
  12. Manga was never finished
  13. Show has a complete different storyline from the manga
  14. Very small, very devoted fanbase
  15. Got a movie (the good kind)
  16. Got a movie (Netflix live action)
  17. A pointed critique of modern society
  18. I know authors who use subtext and they're all cowards
  19. Shit yeah, yokai!
  20. Is really just another series with the serial numbers filed off
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9 comments:

  1. DanJanuary 30, 2022 at 10:07 AM

    This post brought to you by "holy cow JJK's ED is a bop."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Captain CrowbarJanuary 30, 2022 at 2:47 PM

      the only things I know ED can stand for are "eating disorder" and "erectile dysfunction" and I don't think you mean either of these here :[

      Delete
    2. DanJanuary 30, 2022 at 5:50 PM

      ED = ending OP = opening

      Delete
  2. LSJanuary 30, 2022 at 10:49 AM

    I did not realize that any anime had Other Feature #15.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DanJanuary 30, 2022 at 12:05 PM

      If they're tie-in movies, I think they can be at least passable.

      Delete
  3. VelexiraptorJanuary 30, 2022 at 4:04 PM

    Open on BOMBED-OUT HIGH SCHOOL ENTRANCE. Middle-grade PROTAGONIST in formerly white (now amber from dust) school uniform staggers out of rubble, bruised, panting, and bloody.

    Cut to reverse shot of a small pile of something in the distance. More rubble covers the ground. Zoom in as intro music starts to build. The drop hits when you can finally make out the pile's nature: A DUEL MONSTERS DECK.

    Cut to the most slappingest anime opening you've ever heard. A montage of shots introduces PROTAGONIST's side characters: a girl-next-door type love interest (who belongs to an apocalyptic card-game-cult), a too pure for this world best friend (who doesn't know that the world has ended and refuses to acknowledge that the apocalypse has occurred), and a smoking hot mentor figure who tried to stop the end of the world and failed, leading to her total disillusionment with her previous pacifism and a commitment to card-murdering the card-cult that caused the card-pocalypse.

    The series uses flashbacks to explores tensions between traditional DUEL MONSTERS players (as seen in the first series of YU-GI-OH) and one-turn-combo players that used rising power creep and card complexity for personal gain - and eventually misused it to destroy the world. In this changed, postcardpocalyptic future, is there a way to bring back a healthy metagame? Or will the entire game of DUEL MONSTERS have to be consigned to the banlist?

    ReplyDelete
  4. De CometisJanuary 31, 2022 at 10:44 AM

    Feel like there should be "OP is unlistenable garbage" under "Negatives", but this is a very solid table.

    A fun game here is to pick your preferred shonen and work out which rolls you would need to get it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MatildaFebruary 1, 2022 at 4:18 PM

    Rolling...

    Color (rolled twice, primary and secondary colors): 14, 15. Brown (light)/Umber.
    Power source: 1. Devil pacts.
    Setting: 2. A different ordinary high school.
    Aesthetic: 12. Western comics.
    Side characters (rolled three times): 14, 3, 2. Edgy loner rival, BEEFSTRONK, The loaner [sic] from a different school/organization.
    Positives: 17. The humor actually translated over.
    Negatives: 4. Rampant sexism.
    Other features (rolled twice): 20, 16. Is really just another series with the serial numbers filed off. Got a movie (Netflix live action).

    Projected rating: 4/10

    ReplyDelete

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