Sunday, September 2, 2018

Play Report: I Come From the Land of the Ice and Snow (Danscape ep. 3)

Previously, on the Danscape: A cult is joined and a war is inadvertently accelerated.

Tonight's episode stars the original crew from the Kadesh Club:
  • Waterblossom, eladrin magelander nee organ farm escapee (Michael K)
  • Blake, a face-stealing traveler and former gigolo (FM Geist)
  • Gavel, a traveler who just oozes everywhere. (Martin O)
With Waterblossom returned from the cult retreat house (head full of mindworm knowledge) and Gavel and Blake returning from the mother of all drug benders (heads full of drugs and drug accessories), the trio of the Divided Survival Power return once again to Lady Sidris' station.

Outside, the Aboleth has been raising dead and disrupting travel all throughout this corner of the cosmos. It seems dead-set on attacking and destroying old mindworm facilities and stations - a lucky break for everyone else, at least those not mind-slaved and zombified in its war effort.

From this chaos Blake receives a message from Salamander Lady. She has made quantum leaps up the social structure in the fashion world and has been utilizing her newfound wealth in philanthropic charity efforts to aid those fleeing the aboleth's warpath. As part of this, she has a task for the trio: retrieve a mindworm weapon from the old war, tucked away on a frozen shithole of a planet.

To aid the group, she provides the group with survival supplies and a cloning chamber for the ship. After some discussion they decide to clone Gavel's spell tumor and head off towards the Devoured Planet (because I just got Frostbitten and Mutilated and wanted to try it out.) Their target is an ancient tower of mindworm make.

What follows is a terrible trek up a frozen river, across wind-blasted icy hellscape. Gavel plays the world's worst game of I-Spy. Further incidents as follows.
1. Blake steals the severed head of an alien goat off the desecrated statue of an ancient king. He tries talking to it multiple times throughout the adventure.

2. An island in the river is revealed to be a giant bone sticking out of a mound of fatty flesh. Blake steals samples for potential cloning, and grabs a magical charm-shard to boot.

3. Crossing the river, the group sees a bluff with a gigantic monolith. At the base, a herd of boars: two large males, some females, and a bunch of boarlets. A standoff occurs, and turns to violence.

3a. Blake is gored with a critical hit while trying to stab his boar in its blind eye. He miraculously survives and manages to put a plasma bolt through its head. The boar's death throes drop Blake below 0, leaving him with a damaged eye (according to Emmy Allen's Horrible Wounds)

3b. Waterblossom attempts to stun the boars with Washington's Laugh. Both resist the merriment, but their teeth are turned to wood.

3c. Gavel realizes too late that he forgot to calibrate the rail-rifle that had been bolted onto his hover chair. Waterblossom offs the other boar by launching a selachian torpedo via Moses' Shark.

4. The boars defeated, the crew converse for a moment as to whether or not they should loot the grave goods buried beneath the monolith and potentially clone one of the ancient warriors. They decide against it. Blake fashions a boarhide eyepatch.

5. An hour's pause is made to avoid a trio of amazons passing by on wolfback.

6. The crew enters a forest near nightfall. With wolves howling in the distance, the crew takes shelter in a nearby cottage, which contains a young girl who is remarkably non-plussed by the fact that wolves killed her parents.

7. Blake climbs up to the roof through the chimney and takes potshots at the wolves for a while after sundown. The rest get fitful sleep as the wolves prowl and howl just outside.

8. Come morning, the trio head out. Girl (for that is what her parents called her) is renamed Lantern-Boy by Blake ("Oh hurrah, I am overjoyed, clearly this is not a portent of awful things to come." and given a lantern.

9. The tower is reached. The group enter and are swiftly separated in the darkness.

10. Blake glimpses a confused Donson the golem in the gloom, but rushes to aid the friend crying out in the darkness. Waterblossom likewise avoids temptation. Gavel beats the shit out of a little troll thing with a monomolecular greatsword. Eventually they all meet up with Lantern-Boy in the central chamber.

11. In the final chamber, they see mounds of treasure, an ancient mindworm crone, and the weapon. Blake is volunteered by Gavel and Lantern-Boy to partake in the challenge.

12. Blake attempts to seduce the amazon he is to fight with. She says 'after we fight'. Blake successfully grapples her, knocks her axe away, and puts a plasma bolt directly through her skull, tragically cutting many hopes and dreams short.

13. Blake and Waterblossom are granted vials of holy water by the crone. Gavel is transformed into a space wolf. The ship is called in, the weapon is retrieved, and there is great wonder about whether or not they should even bother breaking Gavel's curse, because now they can load up a space wolf with spell tumors. Blake sells boarmeat for a decent price and makes fancy leathers out of it.

Even as a space wolf, Gavel is able to smoke space opium.

I love this group.

Beloch's Questions

  1. The wolves of the Devoured Planet have become Blake's major rivals. That his close friend and drug buddy is now a wolf is deeply traumatizing.
  2. They managed to get to the tower without attracting the attention of the amazons. This may or may not last.
  3. Lantern-Boy is benefiting for the moment. Her future remains uncertain, but she is currently not being eaten by wolves.
  4. No major NPC deaths.
  5. News of the weapon's successful recovery was passed on to Salamander Lady, which means it will become major news in the near future.
  6. See above: as soon as this hits newstands, people will be having opinions. Mostly positive, considering what the aboleth is doing.
  7. Gavel's wolf-curse  and whether or not it will be broken; Blake's hatred of wolves and trauma over killing the one woman horrible enough to understand him, plus fixing up his gaping chest wound.


  1. "Unflappable and black humored small child" is one of my favorite stock characters,

  2. what are those spell-tumors? did you expained it and i somehow missed it?

    1. One of Gavel's mutations is that he has a disgusting cancerous growth that contains one spell that can be cast at 1 SD.

  3. More on spell-tumours please and thanks. Any other stock characters we should know about?

    1. It was one of Gavel's starting mutations, has a single spell in it.

      Two of my others have already emerged in these sessions, being the absent-minded ammonite-headed mind-flayer and the drow lady out on her own with revolutionary tendencies.