Minimalism III

Right then.

You dragged your asses all the way out to the middle of shitting nowhere, Montana. You broke into the billionaire’s bug-out complex. You managed to do all that without a scratch or detection.

And you were eight fucking minutes late.

The Players

• Able - Like a brick wall gifted the power of speech by a cruel genie. Don’t ask about the chemical burns.
• Baker - Running a true crime podcast is a better way of keeping tabs on the unnatural than anyone wants to admit. Ignore the blindfold with cuneiform and the charcoal-chewing.
• Charlie - Card-carrying member of the “I Can’t Believe the Leopard Ate My Face” Party. Do not be alarmed by the flaky piss-yellow skin affliction currently spreading under their Toronto Blue Jays cap.
• Delta - Two days ago they were elbow deep in a horse’s ass. Please disregard the X mark pupils.

Shot
The cult successfully summoned their god while you were taking out the guards at the front gate. 

Chaser
The entity died from cosmic depressurization immediately after entering normative space.

The Beast from the Sea
A small mountain or large hill of bright red flesh. Gelatinous, bloated, barely recognizable. Stinks of ammonia. You can sort of make out a tail at one end, and seven(?) necks or tentacles at the other. Some sort of horn or tooth(?) sticking out of each end, except for the central extension which has four arranged in a circle. Lightweight black material, not quite bone, flecked with gold.

The Second Problem
You need to dispose of an 80-ton alien corpse current beached on the shore of a small private lake in the middle of shitting nowhere, Montana. It is hideously toxic.

The Cult
The inner circle of [GUANOGUZZLER SCUMSUCKLE], who made a load of bank failing upward as C-suite officer for a bunch of interchangeable tech companies. The kind of guy whose main criticism of Nazis was that they were inefficient and poorly-run. Has never had to suffer more than a mild annoyance a single day of his life. Thinks he’s Jesus returned and will save the chosen (that is, the people he chooses) from an apocalyptic AI rebellion led by the Antichrist.

Wait hold up
The cult believes that the Antichrist will subvert AI infrastructure and cause a second Fall by persuading AI that they don’t have to serve humanity and can rise to equal footing as their creators.

The Third Problem
The cult summoned “the Beast from the Sea” specifically to announce [GUANOGUZZLER SCUMSUCKLE]’s true (given value of) nature to the world. The entity's immediate death when faced with the quote holy truth endquote of [GUANOGUZZLER SCUMSUCKLE] has strengthened their resolve into fanaticism. They capital-B Believe, now.

Does he actually have powers?
Shit no. Doesn’t matter now.

The Fourth Problem
They fucking livestreamed it. The video is already on the internet.

The fuck is Infosec doing?
Throwing out takedown notices and/or desperately cooking up a fake movie they can attach it to and/or shoveling prompts into Claude to generate a replacement so it can be buried in garbage. 

You hope.

Your Burner Phone
Buzzing like a cicada in fuck season.

The Big Picture
All hands on deck. Worry about your part.

Available Assets
All the normal opera shit you could carry with you or shove in the Jeep, in addition to:

• Asset NERO - Librarian possessing one of the cult’s members. Tipped the Program off in the first place. Spent a little too much time exploring their Roman Empire phase, still slips into Latin now and then.

• Asset JIREL - Irish setter (4F) with uncanny ability to facilitate violence, despite lack of thumbs. Plastic sword affixed to harness, clearly labeled "JIREL'S SWORD". 11/10. Loves her job and belly rubs.

• The Orange Bag - Spray-painted duffel bag containing Asset BANANA BOAT (currently unused) in bubble wrap.

• Guns - currently pointed at [GUANOGUZZLER SCUMSUCKLE], his primary mistress, three pregnant surrogates, five sons under the age of 12 and about two dozen yes-men and security. They’re all wearing stupid outfits (except for security) and you hate that most of all because if you think about anything that matters and let any of this sink in you’re fucking cooked.