Thursday, December 7, 2017

1d20 Answers to an Important Question...

The world may never know!
  1. Noblemen's sex party; featuring a vat of honey, silken whips, and a live rhinoceros.
  2. Accountant-wizard breaks math, is devoured by the equations of his own ledger, regurgitated, and devoured again in terrible recursion.
  3. A fuzzy white void containing an old man with a mangled nose and gigantic eyebrows, angrily staring back at you.
  4. Clowns meditating upon mountaintops. "Ohmmmmmhahahaha..."
  5. Crucified woman wearing tiger pelt discusses astronomy with passing merchants.
  6. Sturgeons in sedan chairs, carried aloft by sunburnt slaves.
  7. Schoolchildren calmly and competently performing open brain surgery on a placid teacher.
  8. A grainy scrydeo feed of a dirty, darkened room, empty. Minutes later, a filthy man with a mantis-shrimp head stumbles into view.
  9. Chinchillas dance, are startled by something unseen, and explode in a puff of fluff.
  10. A tree falling in the jungle, utterly silent amidst the blind cacophonous birds.
  11. A glacier bleeding in the pains of birth. Leopard-seals keep midwife's vigil.
  12. Sunflowers stretch out to the horizon, intermittently broken by crooked, oily smokestacks.
  13. Migratory march of the landsquids to Big Head Pimple Mountain.
  14. A parliament of talking swords discussing trade embargoes, powdered wigs dangling from their pommels.
  15. Horrific fused mass of livestock goes about its daily business; grocery shopping, stopping by the bank, returning a sweater that was too small.
  16. Singing miners connected by golden chains, digging out a mountain of mouse bones.
  17. A gaudy game-show; the players, host, and audience are all long-dead corpses. The music, commercials, and camera switches are still working as normal.
  18. Soldiers drink coffee from tin cups atop the stooped shoulders of a gargantuan vampire.
  19. Eight temple prostitutes attempt to order takeout, can't decide on how many orders of Admiral Tung's Cockatrice they want.
  20. Headless giraffe gives newlyweds a ride around town.

3 comments:

  1. Jacob Hurst is to blame for this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. You enter a room with a large dais in the center. A single skeleton wearing a moth-eaten suit and a bow-tie in the center. Facing him are three podiums, each with another skeleton behind them. Along the wall, there is a massive, multi-colored wheel. What do you do?

      Delete